Turning Up the Heat
The summer solstice has finally arrived, bringing with it a glimpse of what we can expect for the hot, sweat-filled couple of months ahead of us. Not every place succumbs to the dry heat, blaring sun, and huge hikes in their air conditioning bills, but places like Southern California know these characteristics all too well. When it comes to describing great sex, we like to use words like hot and steamy to show how turned on we are. The summer air, however, is bringing an unfortunate literalness to the those warm-weather adjectives.
Try as you might to fight the heat, you may feel the need to cool your sex down during these months. Maybe you stop using blankets, keep all the lights off, or stand right next to the A/C unit to give yourselves that cool relief. You could lower the temperature, or… You could embrace the warmth, and make it a part of your sexy time routine! That’s right, I’m talking heat play.
Some may have heard of temperature play as a part of the BDSM world, but it’s actually a fun idea for anyone to try. If you’re not quite sure what it is, the idea is to use objects and substances that can retain heat to stimulate the body’s neuroreceptors for a sensual effect. So, instead of Googling how to have sex on a block of ice without getting stuck, here are a few ways to incorporate new pleasure waves during the next heat wave.
Glass/Steel Dildos/Butt Plugs:
Glass and stainless steel dildos, as well as butt plugs, are great ways to turn up the heat in the bedroom. They are nonporous, meaning there are no tiny nooks and crannies for bacteria to thrive and grow, so you don’t have to worry about whether or not they are safe to use, (however that does not mean you don’t have to clean them regularly).
These materials retain heat well, but if you are using glass, you have to be careful about rapid temperature changes so the toys don’t get damaged. DO NOT use the microwave. Although your toy may not break, the heating will be uneven, leaving some spots way hotter than others. The best way to heat up your glass or stone toy is to submerge it in a pot of warm water. Let it sit there for a few minutes, and then place it in gradually hotter water, until you’ve reached your perfect pleasure temperature.
Make sure to test the toy on your wrist or arm to see if the temperature is one you can handle before diving right in. If you don’t and it’s too hot, you may have a sizzling night, but not in the way that you’d hope.
Candles can be used for more than just sensual lighting and aromas. You can incorporate the melted wax during foreplay by pouring it on your partner’s erogenous zones. You don’t want to leave your lover with 3rd degree burns and scars, so don’t just grab a random candle from the mantle piece. The best kind of candles to use are those that burn at 120 degrees fahrenheit or lower, and do not have a bunch of aromas and additives mixed in. There are soy wax and massage candles that are body-safe and can be rubbed into the skin to tease your partner with a sexy massage.
Again, you’re going to want to test the wax on your and your partner’s skin before pouring it blindly onto each other. Everyone has a different tolerance to heat, so what may be fine for you may be irritating for your partner. Once you’re comfortable with the heat, you can pour some on each other’s back, stomach, legs, etc. for a warm, flushed sensation, then proceed to rub the wax in. To mess with the temperature, you can change how far away you hold the candle before you tip it over. The closer it is, the hotter it will be. Either way, your night will be anything but cool.
The wonderful joy that is lube; it’s not just for reducing friction. There are special lubricants that, when applied, actually create a warming sensation on your skin. These are best for those that are not a fan of intense heat because of the gradual nature of the warming effect. It feels as if whatever part of the body it is applied to is getting warmer, but without your body changing temperature. Plus, the longer your rub it in, the warmer it gets, giving you control over the night’s steaminess. Remember that you should always use a water-based lubricant because they are the safes for your skin and the easiest to clean up.
****DISCLAIMER**** FIRE PLAY IS NOT FOR BEGINNERS. IT REQUIRES A LOT OF SAFETY PRECAUTIONS, AND CAN BE DANGEROUS SO NEVER TRY IT ALONE. SEX WITH EMILY IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY DAMAGES OR INJURIES THAT MAY OCCUR, SO TRY AT YOUR OWN RISK.
Seriously, do not attempt this without the proper research on what you’re attempting and clear communication to your partner. You don’t want to end up seriously injuring yourself or your partner, or burning your house down.
For those of you who already know you love the heat and that fire has always sparked your interest, there are ways you can incorporate controlled flammable substances and fire into your foreplay.
First things first, check your surroundings. The less flammable objects around you, the better. You don’t want to be in a room with carpeting and you don’t want to be on your favorite blankets either. Next, you want to get your hair out of the way and not have any loose clothing, (preferably none at all). You also are going to want to develop a safe word with your partner so you know when things are literally too hot. Then, you’ll want to make sure that whatever equipment you’re using works how it’s supposed to, and that you have some kind of water nearby, a wet towel, and a fire extinguisher. Seems like a lot of prep, but in the event that something goes wrong, you’ll be glad you have multiple ways of putting out the fire.
There are various techniques that you can do with fire, such as bouncing, or streaking. Bouncing, or drumming, is typically done with a fire wand doused in 70 percent isopropyl alcohol or ethyl alcohol. One partner then bounces or drums the wand across the body of the other for a relaxing, but intense sensation. Streaking is done by pouring fuel on the body in random designs, lighting it on fire, and quickly blowing it out. The fuel is typically applied with an unlit fire wand, or pens created from Kevlar wick. You can write sexy messages or abstract design to paint a fiery picture of desire on your partner. If you are cautious, safe, and do your research, fire play is terrifyingly sexy way to bring out your inner kink.
The next time the weather’s reaching ridiculously high temperatures, forget the ice and cold showers, and use the heat to your advantage. Experimenting with temperature can help you discover new sensations you’d never think of trying, as well as finding new ways to push your sexual limits. Whether you want to keep it simple with warming lube, or get intricate by playing with fire, heat play is a guaranteed way to make sure your night doesn’t run out of steam.