Ask Emily: Why Can’t I Hold Back from Biting?

biting during sexQ: Dear Emily,

I really enjoy biting my partner’s chest and shoulders during intercourse and find that it helps keep me in the moment physically. It seems like when I lose physical contact between my mouth and my partner’s body or mouth, it tends to result in me thinking more about the fact that I am having sex instead of really feeling present.

The problem is my previous and current partners have not been fans of the marks left on their chest in the aftermath. Do you have any suggestions for other physical actions I can try that won’t result in the “evidence” left behind, but can help keep me in the moment?


Liz, Age 26

A: Dear Liz,

I totally get where you are coming from with the whole biting thing—it’s so primal and can be almost like second nature when you’re in the heat of the moment. You’re feeling all of this pleasure, and biting is the way you make the physical connection; you desire your partner so badly you literally want to devour him!

While this might sound a little cannibalistic, it’s not. In fact, it’s totally human nature. Think about it: how often do women say they want to just “eat up” their own kids? Obviously the feelings you would have towards a bouncing little baby and your smokin’ hot beau are two completely different things, but you get the point. It’s an instinct that is deeply rooted in who we are. So embrace your primal prowess!


Learn how to work biting or other satisfying oral alternatives into your sex life with tips from my latest article for Glamour’s Smitten column, “Biting My Partner Helps Keep Me in the Moment During Sex—But He Hates It.”




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