Your Sexy Holiday Survival Guide
Now that we’ve officially hit the holiday home-stretch, you’re probably feeling the full weight of the season on your shoulders. No matter how proactive we were with our planning and shopping this year, there will always be those last-minute gifts to grab, final traveling arrangements to make, and a whole lot of holiday cheer to cram into the next few days. Just thinking about it makes me want to take a nice long nap!
To think, back when we were kids our biggest complaint was that we HAD to go to bed on exciting holiday nights. Nowadays, many of us would trade every present under the tree (if you’re into that sort of thing) for a good night’s sleep… Not to mention a good night of, well, you know.
Slowly but surely, I am figuring out why my parents never shared my unbridled enthusiasm for the winter festivities. There is nothing romantic or magical about mandatory office potlucks, overcrowded shopping malls and expensive trips home for the holidays. The older I get, the more I realize that all the rom-coms got it wrong. The holidays may be about love, but they are not for lovers. Turns out, Love Actually was actually full of crap.
With everything else we have to do leading up to our respective seasonal celebrations, we are left with hardly any time to connect with our partner—Hell, most of us are lucky to squeeze in five minutes of masturbation once that good old yuletide comes crashing in. Even then, it’s hard to keep that erotic energy going strong when you’ve got visions of To-Do lists dancing in your head.
Whether sex is the last thing on your mind or the only thing, the best way to make it through the holidays with your sanity and your sex life intact is to treat yourself (and your relationship) with a whole lot of TLC. And what better way to show how much you care than with a healthy dose of tender loving… And maybe a little not-so-tender loving, too?
More than ever, now is the time to put hot sex at the top of your Christmas list! Here are 4 little tricks to help your sex life survive the holiday season…
1. Kiss a Little, Peck a Little
This is one area that the fairy tales, rom-com’s and Pinterest boards actually got right—there’s nothing better than a long, deep romantic kiss beneath twinkling lights and boughs of holly. Thanks in large part to mistletoe, public displays of affection are actually encouraged this time of year, but who says you need mistletoe to incite a full-on makeout session?
After being in a relationship for a while, we often forget the joy and ecstasy of getting lost in a great kiss. Well, the holidays are the perfect time to revisit this activity! Kissing is not only one of the easiest ways to connect with a partner, it’s also got a ton of mood-boosting benefits, thanks to the wonderful cocktail of feel-good hormones that get released during a good smooch. So kiss well and kiss often. It’s for your health!
2. Put Sex on the Schedule
I know this doesn’t sound like the hottest tip in the book, but during periods of high stress and limited downtime, it is 100% necessary to put sex on the schedule. That is, if you want to have sex at all.
We tend to think of arousal in linear terms, and desire always as a spontaneous occurrence. We truly believe that it will “just happen”—The mood strikes us, we get caught up in the moment, and great sex is had by all. Unfortunately, that’s not always how it works. As we know, stress puts a huge damper on your sex drive, and the holidays are jam-packed with stress, so you can’t always count on that desire switch to magically flip into the “on” position. If you’re waiting for that rush of arousal to hit you in order to have sex, there’s a chance you’ll be waiting through the New Year. Instead, make concrete plans to be intimate together and let the anticipation of your sex date spark your arousal.
3. Make Your Own “Naughty List”
One of the most taxing aspects of the season is the veritable surge of holiday “should”s we’re faced with: We should make an appearance at so-and-so’s party. We should send out the holiday cards before December 20th. I should take the fancy China out of storage for the family dinner. You should not start drinking eggnog at 11am on Christmas Eve. So many expectations to live up to, so many traditions to follow… Well I say, it’s time to rebel a little! And sometimes the best place to get out of line is in the safety of your bedroom.
Sit down with your partner (wine optional) and start talking about the hot things you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t gotten around to yet. The goal here is to make your own naughty list, except instead of the names of naughty boys and girls, you’ll be compiling all of the naughty things you’d like to do to each other. Once you’ve got your list together, pick out a few of your shared favorites and commit to crossing them off before the end of the year.
4. Say Yes to Dessert
Say what you will about the holidays, they are nothing if not delicious. Starting with Halloween, all the way through Valentine’s Day, the one thing that is never in short supply is dessert. Whether we like it or not, we are all slaves to the sweet-tooth this time of year, so why not lean into it? Instead of balking at the sight of delicious treats, let your mind wander to other, more scandalous applications…
In a recent podcast, Real Housewife and sex toy entrepreneur Kandi Burruss shared her go-to bedroom trick of blindfolding her man and sensually feeding him different desserts, before taking a piece of fruit to his manhood. Personally, I’m not a fan of mixing food with naked flesh, due to the possibility of allergic reactions, yeast infections and an overall dislike of all things sticky, but luckily I’ve found a loophole—Or, should I say, a LUBEhole?
JO is well-known for having high-quality, body-safe lubricants, and this year they broke the mold with their latest invention: the new Gelato collection. JO’s Gelato line is made up of flavored, water-based lubricants that are perfect for all kinds of oral activities, and better yet, taste DELICIOUS. They come in 5 flavors: Creme Brûlée, Hazelnut Espresso, Mint Chocolate, Salted Caramel and Tiramisu. Plus, they are body-safe and sugar-free, so they won’t leave behind a sticky residue. Pick out a couples of your favorite flavors and turn your body into a human dessert tray! Put a dab of each Gelato flavor in your most sensual spots—then blindfold your partner and give them the ultimate taste test! If they can correctly guess the flavor of (and pleasure) each hot spot, they win… Well, I’ll let you decide. After a little Gelato playtime, your sweet tooth will be more than satiated—hopefully along with the rest of you.
Bottom line: Replace those Ho-Ho-Ho’s with some good old fashioned Oh-Oh-Oh’s, and you’ll have yourself one hell of a holly jolly Christmas, a happy Hanukkah and a great head start on a sexy New Year!
Congratulations to the 2nd winner of the Hotter Sex for the Holidays giveaway, Bill S! You’ve won a gift bag of JO’s Gelato lubricants. Thank you so much for taking the end-of-the-year survey, and Happy Holidays from all of us at Sex With Emily!