Ask Emily: Why Did My Orgasm Disappear?


Did my favorite sex toy make me unable to orgasm?

This is a question I frequently get asked, mostly from women who frequent one high-powered sex toy and worry about it de-sensitizing their lady parts.

Many of us have been there. We find a toy that we love, that nails it every damn time, and give it the starring role in our solo sex life. But then, over time, the orgasms stop coming, and the worrying begins. Maybe the toy was TOO good at it’s job? Maybe it’s ruined me for all other sex toys? Why has my Magic Wand forsaken me?

DO NOT FREAK OUT. Your orgasms aren’t gone forever; the nerve endings in your vagina are not dead. Just like any a sexual slump, a masturbation rut can come (or not come) your way from time to time, and it has very little to do with your vibrating companion. Your vagina, wiley little minx that she is, gets accustomed to certain types of stimulation. After a while, she needs something NEW to really get her nerve endings firing. This is why it’s so important to mix things up in the bedroom, both with and without your partner. And what better month to start changing things up than National Masturbation Month?

In order to solve the case of the missing orgasm, all you have to do is make a few adjustments. Use a new toy, use different intensities and different patterns, go back to using your hands—anything new to get your orgasms out of your head and into your clitoris.

Another great way to step up your routine is to add a little bit of lube. Lubricant is like the salt of sexual world. True, it won’t send your cholesterol through the roof, but it does have the power to make everything taste (or feel) a lot better. Research shows that women who reach for the lube regularly – during masturbation, as well as sex – reported higher levels of overall sexual satisfaction and actually enjoyed sex more. And for men.. Well it just makes sense that wetter is always better.

I’m not telling you to throw out your old favorite toy, just give it a little rest. Once you find your orgasm again, you can bring back your Magic Wand for a pleasure-packed reunion! Luckily the new Magic Wand Rechargeable has four different vibration patters, as well as four intensity level—Just remember to mix it up from time to time.

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