Conception Sex – How To Make Baby Making Hot

conception blog sex with emily

conception blog sex with emilySo, you’ve decided to start trying for a baby. You’re growing your family. You’re attempting conception. Congratulations!

Right now, millions of couples around the world are having sex to conceive, or doing the “baby dance”. 

But when you are TTC (trying to conceive), it can be easy to fall into a rut of boring repetitive sex. You have to work at it to keep baby-making hot, and this guide is here to help you do that!

(Note: this article is focused primarily on heterosexual couples attempting to conceive via natural methods, but some of these principles may also apply to same sex couples going through fertility treatments or any couples trying to conceive.)

Natural Conception

If you’re trying for natural conception instead of “assisted reproductive technology”, this article is meant to help you find have conception sex that is hot and steamy!

Natural conception, at first, might seem like a simple proposition for the average heterosexual couple – just put the p in the v, right? When it comes to the biology of conception, a woman’s window of fertility is a short period of time, during ovulation. I won’t get into the specifics about timing sex with ovulation, but I would highly recommend doing your research, as there are things you can do to optimize the timing of sex vis-à-vis your menstrual cycle. 

In any event, people who are TTC usually find that focus of their love-making revolves around tracking ovulation, which runs the risk of sucking the life out of your sex life.  But, it doesn’t have to be that way!

Here are some quick tips to help you liven up the sex that you’re having in order to conceive. 


1. Let go of the conception goal

Letting go of conception as a goal might feel counter-intuitive and also hard as heck! After all, the idea of having a baby is exciting and it is what you really want, right? However, your libido needs to be fully on board with you in this journey.  I am on dozens of TTC facebook groups and I have heard time and again the frustration of “trying” and how spouses end up zombie-like when it’s time to do the deed. If you put too much pressure on yourself, it will kill the vibe.

You don’t want sex with your partner to feel like a chore. “Honey, I am ovulating, it’s time!!” The first few times of this might be fun and cute, but after awhile…ugh. Sex for conception doesn’t have to be all about the baby. Just because you have to time the baby dance to ovulation doesn’t mean you can’t focus on the hot sex you want to have with your partner.

A great way to change your mindset is to get into the spirit of play. Sex is, in fact, adult play. So treat it that way. Your play time with your partner can really boost your mood and bond you even more. Play also helps you make your sex all about pleasure. And there is ample anecdotal evidence that sometimes, couples who have passionate, connected sex end up getting pregnant faster and easier.


2. Keep conception discussions out of the bedroom

Nothing says sexy like a science lesson in the bedroom. Right? Umm…no. 

My suggestion is to schedule a time to have the “baby making” logistics discussions. This is when you talk about tracking the female partner’s cycle, strategies for timing sex with ovulation, etc.

Set it during a particular time of the week and not let any of those discussions seep into your bedroom talk. Don’t even say the words “ovulation” or “sperm count” in the bedroom.


3. Get out of your head

This is easier said than done of course, but I would suggest doing things that really get you present before sex so you can focus on your partner and on pleasure.

Meditate, take a bath, light a candle. Make sure you are getting your exercise. Yoga is great for helping mental focus.

The last thing you want is to be thinking about your Reproductive Endocrinologist and their theories on your follicle growth at the point of climax.


4. Change it up!

The last thing you want to do is have the same sex over and over. You will lose your erotic charge and then your baby dance will default to a “have to.” So, you gotta change it up!  You can incorporate diff kinds of sex in your baby dance, including impact play, BDSM, role play or even rough sex.

Hey, maybe even throw in a little kink. Go through this questionnaire to see what new things you might want to try. Get out of a rut. Do something spontaneous. Bring out the toys! Check out this subscription box that can keep your sexual pilot light lit for months!

Have a discussion about fantasies you might want to try. You can even create a fantasy scenario or role play around the idea of being impregnated or impregnating your partner. . Include some dirty talk. Instead of sending your partner a plain text that it is time to have sex, try sending a hot and dirty sext instead.

Also, don’t just focus on copulation…don’t forget oral and other pleasures like anal! Just because oral or anal aren’t designed to get you pregnant doesn’t mean you should stop doing them once you are TTC. If they turn you on, add them in there for fun and excitement.


5. Get down with ART

Again ART stands for “Assisted Reproductive Technology” which pretty much means IVF (in vitro fertilization), IUI (Inter uterine Insemination) or other medically assisted methods of conceiving.

*Little known fact:  you can totally “get down” if you are going through IVF or any ART.

If you are going through IVF, there are some time periods in which your doctor might ask you not to have sex. In that case, it is a perfect opportunity to use the other times of your IVF cycle (ie not around ovulation, etc) to have sex for NO REASON AT ALL! Yay!

You can build up anticipation until you can have sex. When something’s is forbidden, we want it even more. So instead of thinking, “I have to have sex to try to conceive,” it could be as simple as “I can’t wait till the doctor lets us have sex again!!”


6. Do it like rabbits

Studies show that having a lot of sex can enhance a woman’s fertility and increase your chances of conceiving. So, go at it!! Enjoy sex several times a month if you are game. Use the tips above to help you get into the mood and stay sexy so that you want to do it more and more.


There you have it, TTC’ers! Wishing you hot sex and baby dust!


Emily Anne is a bestselling author, sex coach and educator, who specializes in helping people expand their sexual horizons through BDSM and kink. When she’s not obsessively talking about sex, she’s hiking through the Hollywood Hills. Get some sexy education on her Instagram feed
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