Lengthening Your Limerence: 5 Ways To Make The Honeymoon Last
So, you and your sweetie have been lovin’ on each other for a while now. That spark turned into a fire, that fire burned down your (downstairs) house, and now…the fire’s starting to die down. The honeymoon phase might be over.
In all seriousness though, if you feel the passion starting to fade, don’t panic. You might be leaving the “Honeymoon Phase” of your relationship, but there’s plenty you can do to make sure your relationship stays not only afloat, but as wet as ever.
What is the Honeymoon Phase?
Here’s a hint: It’s not the week long trip you take after your wedding. The Honeymoon Phase is the first few months of your relationship when everything is new: the sex is abundant, the time you spend together is electric and you feel overwhelmed by the need to be with your sweetie and learn everything about them.
Normally, this infatuation lasts anywhere from 3 months, to a year. But when it fades, oh boy does it fade! You don’t have to let the waning of passions be the end of your relationship. A true partnership meaning extending this limerence into a long term commitment. So here’s some tips on how to keep that love train chugging along:
1. Have date nights
Spending intentional time together is so so so important! Whether you’ve been together for 6 months or 6 years, we are creatures of habit. As hot as you think your partner is, just the fact that they’re your partner can take some of the mystery out of the relationship. Infuse it back in by taking time to fan the romantic component of your relationship. Whether it’s going out for dinner and movie instead of watching tv, or planning a day trip to the beach instead of Ikea, having time set aside to romance your sweetie will be sure to keep your flame alive.
2. Liven up your sex life
Remember how it felt to have sex with your beau for the first time? The rush, the nervousness, the passion. Infuse the honeymoon phase vibe back into your relationship by trying something new! Whether it’s challenging yourselves to try a new position each time you have sex, or adding in some toys into the mix, adding a new component to your sex life can help you explore one another’s bodies in ways you’ve never done before. I especially recommend role play. Maybe you know your partner’s body like the back of your hand, but the sexy nurse caring for the horny patient has never met this hot piece of ass before. Whatever you feel comfortable with, finding new ways to do the deed will bring you and your baby closer together.
3. If you live together, make your home a sexy space
Nothing kills the mood more than laundry all over the bed! If you’ve made the commitment to live together, transitioning from lovers to roommates can be frighteningly easy. As great as it is to share the household responsibilities with your sweetie, make sure your home is a one that matches the relationship you want to have.
This especially extends to the bedroom: keeping your bedroom tv free, your phones away from the bed and your distractions in another room helps to signal to your brain that bed time is time for you and your lover to connect. Don’t kill your honeymoon phase by scrolling on your phones until 2 am.
4. Go on a mini-honeymoon, together
If you have the resources too, going on a couples vacation can work wonders. When you’re in a long term relationship, life gets in the way. Taking time outside of your regular routines and exploring somewhere new together can be a great way to explore one another. Increase the feeling of wonder and newness by surprising one another! Whether it’s with the location, a little travel gift or a day trip to a special location, taking the time to plan a trip together and surprise one another along the way can give you a new and novel way to show each other how much you care.
5. Accept this new phase of your relationship
Just because you’re not clamoring to jump each other’s bones all the time doesn’t mean that your relationship is over! It’s really just beginning. Finding a healthy balance of passion, commitment, support, and love for one another is what long term partnership is all about. Embrace this new phase of your relationship with open arms and a commitment to still having hot sex and you’ll be laughing all the way to your next anniversary. And the next. And hopefully the next :)
Tessa Skara is a writer and comedian. She is bravely bicoastal. She loves all things queer, including, but not limited to sex. Follow her on Instagram @tessafuckinskara.