Valentine’s Day From Far Away

distance blog sex with emily

distance blog sex with emilyThe heart wants what it wants, and sometimes the heart wants to date someone 100,000 miles away. The distance is especially painful when everyone around you is celebrating a holiday of love.

Whether you’re in a 90-Day Fiancee situation, or just apart from your sweetie for work or school, long distance relationships can sometimes feel like a fool’s errand. But, they don’t have to be!

If you can treat your sweetie with love and respect, regardless of whether or not you sleep in the same bed on V-day, then your LDR might just be able to go the distance! Here are some tips and tricks for making things work with your out of state dreamboat this Valentines day.

It’s A Relationship, So Treat It Like One!

This isn’t your long distance pen pal! Just because your beloved is on the other side of the world doesn’t mean that you can’t be romantic and spontaneous with them this Valentine’s Day. Take them on a face-time date where you both go look at the same sunset, schedule a time to talk about your feelings and not just catch up on your day.

Since you’re not in the same place, your tendency might be to just relay your daily life to your partner. But you want to find ways to live some moments together, not just recap them. It’s not cute to make your relationship all about texting your every move, or to make your phone calls into therapy sessions. You and your cutie can use the distance to grow closer together, just without being you know…physically close.


If You Can’t Smash Bodies, Smash…Your Brains

Okay, not being able to make out with your love can feel HORRIBLE at times, think of it like this: it’ll make every make-out after this that much more special. True, you can’t jump each other’s bones all the time, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t jump each others brains!

Since you can’t be physically with them this Valentines day, maybe write a poem for them, record a song, make a joint playlist of love songs or just have an all night gabfest about your plans for the future. Take the distance to show your partner how much you care by really getting to know them, without the amazing sex that we know you’re having when you’re in the same place. ;) 


Keep the Flame Alive

That being said, the romance doesn’t have to die just because you’re apart! Facetime is truly a game changer. This Valentines day, a flirty phone call, or a facetime strip tease can be just what you need to keep things sexy and alive. Communicate what it is that you both would like to do before hand though, just so everyones on the same (consensual) page. I suggest talking dirty to one another while you both masturbate on opposite sides of the planet, or adding some nudity to an after work facetime meal. Which brings me to my next point:


Have a V-day Date Night…with your Phone!

Treat your sweetie like the treasure that they are and make time for them. If you’re doing long distance for an extended period of time, it’s important that you schedule dates with them. Not just on Valentine’s day, but all the time! Schedule a Skype scrabble date, a wine and facetime or maybe even watch a movie together.

I highly recommend using Discord’s screen sharing technology to watch movies and gaze upon your lover all at the same time. This Valentines day, me and my long distance sweetheart are buying the same ravioli from Trader Joe’s and eating them together on Skype while pretending we’re at a fancy restaurant! It may sound silly, but it’s important that while you’re apart you try to make memories together. 


A Time Difference Doesn’t Mean You Have To Miss Out!

 If you live in a completely different time zone than your sweetie, you might have trouble catching each other on the phone everyday, even on the big V-day. Fear not! You can use the Marco Polo app to leave personalized video messages for your beau that they can look at whenever they want, without clogging up their storage space on their phone. So that way, you can bring your partner to the beachside sunset while they’re at their office job, without, you know, bringing them. 


Be Realistic About The Relationship

Long distance relationships are totally fine and dandy…if there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Be realistic about what you want. If there’s no possibility that you and your love could ever be together, it’s not worth building something with them from afar. You deserve to find love, in your state or outside of it, but just be honest about your limitations and life paths. 


Lastly, remember that just because you’re apart this Valentines day, it doesn’t mean you can’t have a great time. I suggest you take this Valentines day apart to take stock of how you can grow together, so that when you’re finally in the same place, you’re better than ever. 




Tessa Skara is a writer and comedian. She is bravely bicoastal. She loves all things queer, including, but not limited to sex. Follow her on Instagram @tessafuckinskara.
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