Masturbation Mindset

masturbation mindset blog sex with emily

masturbation mindset blog sex with emilyHave you ever flicked the bean or polished the pole but barely limped to the finish line, or even quit the race halfway through? The truth is, not all masturbation is created equal. Luckily, the key to successful self-pleasure is totally in your hands. It all starts with getting into the right mindset.

Masturbation is as much a mental game as it is a physical one. So as we come to the close of Masturbation May, here are some tips to get your head in the right space for self-pleasure.


It’s All In the Timing

Especially as most of us are quarantined in our homes, having a daily routine is a great way to keep up with your pleasure. By creating a schedule for your masturbation, you actually give yourself the time in your day to enjoy yourself. Decide on your desired frequency of solo sexy time then pick the time of day that you’re most primed for pleasure.

Do you wake up horny or are you most turned on at night? Are you more of an afternoon delight kind of person? Our bodies have natural rhythms. It’s important to take note of them. If you know you wake up ready to go, consider waking up ten minutes early to start your day with a bang. If you know that you can’t go to sleep at night until you pump, set a time for when you put away your things and focus on you. Having your masturbation scheduled will help to build excitement for the act. Think about it as your go about your day or night leading up to it. Build the suspense, and the reward will feel richer. 



The two songs that changed my masturbation game were from Britney Spears’ third album IN THE ZONE – Touch of my Hand and Breathe On Me switched something on in my brain. I turned into a writhing snake every time I hit play on my CD player (I’m showing my age).  Music has this magical quality of making you want to move your body, and trust me, it doesn’t just apply on the dance floor.

Tailor your music choice to the type of masturbation session you want to have. Do you want slow and sultry self-love session? Turn on some RnB. Do you want to go at yourself in a fast and energetic way? Turn on some house music. Let your body and mindset be opened up by the kind of music that gets you going.


Location, Location, Location

Are you a shower masturbator? Strictly a bedroom stroker? Can you only get off when you’re lying on your side on the couch? Chances are you’ve got your favorite spots to yank it and your body has muscle memory when it comes to letting itself be the most vulnerable. It’s important to make sure that space feels safe, comfortable, and sexy every time you engage in it. If you’re trying to masturbate and you know your roommate making a grilled cheese down the hall in the kitchen will throw your mindset off, consider investing in noise-cancelling headphones. Make sure that your body knows that you’re ready to relax and take the train to pleasure-town. 


Love Yourself

Self-love starts in the mind. When masturbating, you have to be alone with yourself. There isn’t another person there to distract you or influence your mindset. Masturbation is the perfect time to remind yourself just why you’re so awesome. Take a moment to take inventory of all the tiny wonderful parts of yourself that you never think about. Cherish every crevice of yourself – from your skin to your curves to your dimples and every inch of your sexual self. If you’re into it, try masturbating while looking at a mirror. You may be surprised at just how hot you can make yourself.


Listen to your body 

Sex drive is directly linked to physical health. Endurance is a huge part of a good masturbation session. Have you ever been struggling to climax and stop just because you’re just exhausted? Eat foods high in zinc, iron, vitamin C, vitamin B and vitamin D – it’ll keep your endurance up, and your spunk strong. When it comes to actually executing the final push, make sure to breathe into the orgasm. Holding your breath and contracting your entire body can actually cut off sensitivity while masturbating. If you listen to your body and feel the orgasm about to crest, breathe into it to not only prolong the orgasm but intensity the ejaculation. Now get to rubbing, and see how far you can shoot!



Lumi Park is a writer, foodie, and Capricorn, from the cornfields of Ohio. He once won a NYC bartending award, a Brooklyn-wide comic book Trivia Bowl, and went to nationals two years in a year for the sport of jump roping. He is oddly not competitive. 


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