Orgasms for All! Facts, Myths & Tips
Orgasms are amazing – there’s no doubt about it. It’s almost crazy to think our bodies are capable of feeling such intense waves of pleasure. They’re almost indescribable.
Even when you try, no words actually do them justice. You just have to experience for yourself.
Not all orgasms are created equal, however. Although, I don’t think there’s ever been a negative orgasm on record.
Unfortunately, in more cases than you think, there is trouble reaching climax. Some, have never even been there at all.
If you’re one of these people, I’m here to tell you that you’re okay, Annie. I’m also here to say that you can get to that juicy orgasmic feeling – it’s just going to take practice and time.
In the meantime, let’s learn a little bit more about orgasms – from the truth to the misconceptions. Oh, and a few tips added in.
MYTH: Most women will orgasm from penetrative sex.
In movies and television, what you see mostly consists of heterosexual sex lasting maybe 30 seconds with absolutely no foreplay and both people are coming at the same time. I understand that they can’t show 30 uninterrupted minutes of sexual activity, but would it hurt to allude to at least some clitoral stimulation?
The fact of the matter is that only 15-30% of women can orgasm from penetration alone. That’s a huge reason why lesbian women have much better sex than heterosexual women. Also, why foreplay is incredibly important.
So if you haven’t orgasmed from penetrative sex, make sure you’re getting clitoral stimulation – whether it’s you or a partner lending the helping hand.
FACT: Men can have multiple orgasms.
Whaaat? Yes, it’s true. Men or people with penises are capable of having more than one orgasm in a session. What a lot of people don’t know is that orgasm and ejaculation aren’t the same thing. Stimulating the prostate and tantric practices will allow you to orgasm without ejaculating – which is what causes the refractory period.
MYTH: Vibrators will ruin your orgasms.
Can you get addicted to your vibrator? Technically, you can get addicted to anything – even pop tarts. If you’re one of those people who thinks that once a Magic Wand touches your skin, your fingers will never feel the same – you can calm down.
While vibrators are incredible devices designed for pleasure, it’s not going to somehow ruin your ability to climax in other ways. It’s all about moderation.
Use the vibrator sometimes, and then use your hands. Or start off with your hands and end with your vibrator. Better yet, change up which toy you’re using!
FACT: Too much pressure on yourself can keep you from finishing.
You want to orgasm so badly – this is the time it’s going to happen. How many times have you thought this to yourself just to be left short of the pleasure threshold?
This happens more than you think – regardless of what you’re equipped with below the belt. Our minds are powerful things, and while that can work in our favor, it can also work against us.
The more pressure we put on ourselves to climax (or to put climax off), the harder it is to attain that goal. With sex, we have to let ourselves go, be free of inhibitions, and really relax into our bodies to be present. In fact, when we take the pressure off of ourselves, the more likely we are to cross the pleasure finish line.
To get out of your head and into your body, try focusing on your senses, and breathing. What are you hearing, feeling, seeing, touching, and tasting? Even that on your own can be hard to do. If you’re someone who has a hard time settling down, try using a few sprays of Foria Awaken – CBD infused massage oil – that will really keep your anxiety at bay.
MYTH: Your partner gives you an orgasm.
At Sex With Emily, we hear this a lot: my partner can’t give me an orgasm. No one is walking around with a bag of orgasms, handing them out (although, that would be nice). Orgasms are not given to you by anyone, they are had. Yes, someone can help you get there, but it’s not theirs to give.
The key to having an orgasm is knowing your own body. The more you know about what turns you on and how you like to be touched, the easier it will be to relay that information to a partner.
If you need constant penetration with a slight angle to the left for 15 minutes, tell your partner. And if they need help lasting, they can use Promescent. If you know that you need your clitoris touched a certain way, or you like pressure on your frenulum, show them how it’s done.
FACT: The safer you feel, the more satisfied you’ll be.
This one sounds obvious, but just in case the people in the back can’t hear, your sexual health is super important. When you feel comfortable and respected by your partner, it can be so much easier to go all out in the bedroom. So, definitely have the STD/STI talk as soon as possible.
It may be awkward and not so sexy, but it gives you peace of mind that you’re not going to be getting any unwanted test results.
Sidenote, if you’re using sex toys, make sure you’re cleaning them properly. Bacteria can hide away on your toys and you can give yourself an infection! You don’t want to do that, seriously. Investing in a UVee is one of the best things you can do for your adult toys because it sanitizes and stores them in a discreet box. So no more worry, and a hell of a lot more orgasms.
If you’ve never had an orgasm, want to master multiples, or experience new ways to get that climax, all you need is some practice. I can’t think of a better way to spend my free time. Can you?