The Perfect Gift, According to Your Partner’s Love Language

woman standing in front of man while he covers her eyes and holds flowers

The holidays are upon us! No matter what celebrations you’re planning, gift-giving is a must. For many of us, it can be difficult to decide what you want to get for that special someone. Luckily, we have some ideas for how you can curate the perfect gift based on love language.

Note: Many people value more than one love language so feel free to mix and match as you are shopping this holiday season. 

Words of Affirmation

Individuals who value words of affirmation love to hear frequent compliments and other forms of positive, supportive commentary from their loved ones. 

Gift Ideas

People who feel most loved from receiving words of affirmation love compliments. Turn this into a gift by making a compliment jar! Simply write down all of your favorite things about the person, or maybe favorite memories or motivational sayings that they can read throughout the year. Alternatively, you can create a scrapbook with all of your favorite memories and moments with your loved one.

If you’re more drawn to music, a carefully curated playlist could be an easy way to show a person who values words of affirmation just how much they mean to you. Remember: a thoughtful note or card is a must-have for individuals who value words of affirmation. Another great way to use words to show your love is audio erotica. Whereas porn is more visually stimulating, audio erotica caters to audio stimulation, using words to describe sexy scenarios. Consider getting your partner a subscription to &Jane, an app with a wide array of authentic audio erotica, so they can get even more pleasure for what they hear.


Those who value gifts feel loved when they are able to interact with visual symbols of love. It is important to note that those with this love language are not specifically interested in the monetary value of these gifts—rather, they appreciate the time and care that went into the giving.

Gift Ideas 

If your partner uses gifts to show love, why not show them the gift of pleasure? Toys can make great gifts. Whether it’s the Womanizer, Zumio, or We-Vibe, toys truly are the gift that keeps on giving.

If you’re looking for a non-sexual gift, pay close attention to any subtle hints or mentions your partner has made. Individuals with this love language will really appreciate the effort taken to pay attention and find the perfect gift for them.

If you are overwhelmed with the possibilities and not sure what route to take, think of your partner’s favorite things, or gifts they’ve liked in the past. Maybe they love a certain Etsy shop or type of jewelry. Maybe they’re all about cozy things, like candles or blankets.  In any case, you know your partner best of all—so think carefully about their personality and what would best resonate with them.

Acts of Service

Those who value acts of service as their love language appreciate it when their loved one spends time to make their life a little easier. These acts can be anything from a simple household chore to filling the car with gas to babysitting. 

Gift Ideas

Individuals with this love language will appreciate any thoughtful gift, especially if it took time and effort for you to create it. You might consider completing a larger chore or project for them, making them breakfast in bed, or baking their favorite dessert.

Another great option is a coupon book. Compile a list of tasks you will complete for and with your partner. They can be anything from cleaning up around the house, date ideas, and sexual favors (obviously). 

Quality Time

People who value quality time feel the most appreciated when their loved one prioritizes activities and one-on-one time. Quality time isn’t just time spent hanging out, but rather truly connecting with one another through activities and hobbies without extraneous distractions.

Gift Ideas

Show your partner you care by giving a gift that you can share together. It can be an intricately planned date night at home, a picnic in the park, or a weekend away at a nice hotel or AirbnbIf you want to plan something intricate, try giving a series of dates for the next year. Use envelopes to seal different gift and date ideas to be opened by the month or date written on the outside of the envelope. These can be anything that you think your partner will enjoy like spa gift cards, details for a hike you can do in May, an ice cream date in July, or plans to go ice skating in January.

Another great way to share quality time is by completing our Yes, No, Maybe List–a comprehensive and inspiring list of different sexual experiences. By checking things off this list, you can determine together what are things you like or would like to do together and discuss them.

Physical Touch

Valuing physical touch as a love language means appreciating and feeling affirmed through a physical connection, whether that’s kissing, cuddling, holding hands, or sex. Gifts for a person who values physical touch don’t necessarily need to be physical (though that can be awesome), but also gateways into a physical experience. 

Gift Ideas

A massage (or a coupon book of massages paired with sexual favors) can be a great option for those who value physical touch. Consider also gifting them with Exsens warming oil to create a warm, scented, and intimate experience. Other ways to give the gift of touch is by providing tools for sensual experiences, like a bath bomb, body lotion, or high-power toy, like the Magic Wand.

Regardless of one’s love language, the holiday season is a great time to show your loved ones just how much you care and appreciate them. Gift-giving can be stressful, but by tapping into that special someone’s love language of choice, you can find something that truly represents how you feel and be the perfect gift based on love language. Happy holidays!

Ovie Crum is a UCLA graduate originally from the bay area. She joined the Sex with Emily family in June of 2019, loves spending time outdoors, and aspires to one day own a dog of her own.