Most people believe in the idea of soulmates. That one person who’s not only our best friend, but our favorite person to get jiggy with. What happens if sex with The One isn’t good anymore? Or, worse yet, it never was? Does that mean we weren’t actually meant to be? According to a recent study, no, not at all! In fact, the study suggests it’s this idea of sexual soulmates and sexual destiny that’s unhealthy. That it could be the actual reason your sex life is suffering.
I’ve been hearing about this Magic Wand for well over a decade now. Unfortunately, I was sexually stunted all through my 20’s, meaning I didn’t even buy my first vibrator until my mid 30’s. Mostly because the patriarchy still isn’t 100% on board with women’s pleasure. It doesn’t want sexually empowered lionesses who put our own needs, especially orgasms, first. No, women like us are a serious threat to the power structure and, therefore, have been slut-shamed into oblivion.
This kind of cultural brainwashing, plus my Southern upbringing, resulted in me being a sexual prude for a long ass time. A prude too ashamed to masturbate, even in college, despite the fact my friends were having threesomes by then. The fact I’d never been with a man who’d given me those fireworks-style orgasms probably had something to do with it, too. Either way, ignorance and shame turned me into a sexual Debbie Downer who just assumed orgasms weren’t in the cards for me.
Oh, how the tides have changed! Continue Reading
Every straight woman I know has faked an orgasm. Some still do!
I’ve never been the When-Harry-Met-Sally kind of faker, but I’ve definitely moaned here and there and lied right to a guy’s face as he pealed the condom off and asked me if I came. It’s no surprise women do it, though. We’re raised in a culture that teaches us to revolve our lives entirely around men and their comfort, and sex is no different. Faking it is our way of helping them feel good about themselves– a call of duty if you will. Or it’s a way to not hurt their feelings when we’re tired, over it, or rubbed raw and just want him to get the f*ck off of us. Continue Reading
Nobody wants to say they met their boo on a stupid dating app. For whatever reason, our culture still associates dating apps with desperation. But here’s the thing: sure, it’d be nice to meet people in person like the good old days when grandpa rode to school on a donkey and your friends actually looked at you instead of their phones when you had conversations, but those days are over. So get with the program, y’all. The survival of our species has always depended on adaptation and willingness to change.