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On today’s show, Emily’s taking your calls and helping you get through all your sex and relationship quandaries.

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I am a 23-year-old lesbian, and my dating pool seems more like a puddle. I’m shy, so walking up to a woman in a bar isn’t really my thing. Conversely, I’m very feminine and have been told that women can’t easily tell that I’m gay, making me unapproachable for women who are too scared to ask.

Last but not least, I’ve noticed that I’m attracted to older women and find myself being intimidated by them because I’m not very sexually experienced.

Basically, I need suggestions on where to meet women and how to be more confident and put myself out there.

Please help!

Cassie, 23, Kentucky

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Photo: Stocksy

My sex life with my husband almost exclusively revolves around nipple play. He and I both love giving and receiving nipple stimulation, and it’s our primary foreplay (usually a nipple-69).

In an effort to keep things new and fun, I’ve researched nipple toys but can’t seem to find any with consistently positive reviews. We’ve talked about clamps, suction toys, and even pumps, but we aren’t sure what is reliable, pain-free (we like teasing and pleasure, not pain), and useful for both women and men.

Do you have any advice for what toys or techniques could enhance our somewhat unconventional—but very satisfying!—routine?

Mallory, Age 40

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Your first experience at a clothing-optional resort is going to be a tad awkward – you’re going to be naked in front of a bunch of strangers.
But what if you went to one, and realized there was a bit more hanging out than you expected? 
Sex Coach Pam Costa shares her first unexpected experience at a resort for the “lifestyle” in her Down to There blog…

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