Which came first: the chicken or the egg?

Most of us can agree it’s pretty hard to decide, but when it comes to sex and relationships we can find ourselves asking the very same question. Or a variation of it, anyway.

In the sometimes testy trials of sexpectation versus reality, it goes without saying there are countless factors at play.

 

From comfort and connection to chemistry and more, each of these elements pour into the grand-ultimate component of all— satisfaction.

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

While I have been masturbating since the beginning of high school, I’ve never had sex. The thing is, I rarely fully get off. I think the only time I have was while using a shower head. I use the Touch by We-Vibe, but once I can feel an orgasm coming on, it becomes harder and harder to get there because my clit becomes too sensitive.

Do you have any tips to help overcome this?

Thanks,

Rachel, 24, NC

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Think back to those middle school/high school days. Remember that algebra class or those standardized-tests the state forced you to take every year? Do you get a little queasy thinking about the exams you studied for? The sweaty palms, the foot-tapping, the chewing on the eraser end of your pencil…?

Even as grown-ups, there’s no shortage of stress-inducing situations we find ourselves in; only difference is, we’ve learned a few tricks to handle that “fight-or-flight” feeling a lot better than we did in math class. I’m willing to bet that for many of us reading this, social confidence has been one of our new “rites of passage,” and the reason for many of those anxious-filled stories. Able-bodied or not, stress and anxiety can throw you off your game at school, at work, and definitely when it comes to dating and relationships.

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

Hi Emily,

I have recently started seeing a new man. And I have a terrible gag reflex. Like it’s honestly terrible. I gag every single time he goes too deep, and I don’t really love the taste of semen. Between the depth and worrying about the taste, I get so tense. All I want to do is finish the job without looking like an idiot. Is it all in my head, or is there a way to fix this issue?

Emma, 22, Indiana

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It’s the start of the new year and people are flooding the gyms, starting to eat healthy, and work on developing new and better habits. Most of us know that when it comes to making resolutions, once it hits February, they fall by the wayside.

Instead of making the typical false promises to yourself (special shout out to those that actually stick to them), why not make promises you actually want to keep? What kind of promises? Bedroom ones, of course!

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now and I want to try some new things to keep it fun and new. However, he and I are both on a serious budget, so I want to know –– what are the best “bang for your buck” toys?

I would like to try more than one and want something that will be safe and enjoyable for both of us.  

Steph, 27, PA

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