I’ve done it. After having the same sexual New Year’s resolution for two consecutive years, I have FINALLY popped my sex toy cherry… During sex that is. So, for all those hopeless souls out there who think they’ll never achieve the resolutions they’ve set out for (specifically the sexual ones), you WILL get there. It just takes time and the right person to come along.
What toy finally got its debut in my partnered sex life? The We-Vibe Pivot, a cock ring of orgasmic proportions. How was it, you ask? Well, let me tell you…
Solo or with a partner, achieving orgasm is like the pot of gold at the end of a sexy rainbow. But what happens when that rainbow of toys, foreplay, and sex doesn’t quite bring you all the way to your big ‘O’? As much as we would love to sit back, relax, and let our partners take care of all the hard climactic work, our orgasms are our responsibility. Although it’s your partner that helps get you there, they can’t do it alone, they need you– body AND mind. Whether you’re on the struggle bus with orgasming in general, or are experiencing a temporary lag in your typically dependable climax, here are a few tips to take control of every orgasm-oriented experience for a satisfying slide into that big ole’ pot of pleasure.
Everyone has a different definition when it comes to “great sex.” What constitutes it? What makes it kinky, or what keeps it vanilla? The variety of answers go on and on. On today’s show, Emily is helping listeners like you figure out what great sex means to them and how to talk to their partners about it!
I’ve been hearing about this Magic Wand for well over a decade now. Unfortunately, I was sexually stunted all through my 20’s, meaning I didn’t even buy my first vibrator until my mid 30’s. Mostly because the patriarchy still isn’t 100% on board with women’s pleasure. It doesn’t want sexually empowered lionesses who put our own needs, especially orgasms, first. No, women like us are a serious threat to the power structure and, therefore, have been slut-shamed into oblivion.
This kind of cultural brainwashing, plus my Southern upbringing, resulted in me being a sexual prude for a long ass time. A prude too ashamed to masturbate, even in college, despite the fact my friends were having threesomes by then. The fact I’d never been with a man who’d given me those fireworks-style orgasms probably had something to do with it, too. Either way, ignorance and shame turned me into a sexual Debbie Downer who just assumed orgasms weren’t in the cards for me.
Oh, how the tides have changed! Continue Reading
They teach us in school about the importance of eye contact. Whether you’re giving a presentation, attending an interview, or speaking with a customer at work, eye contact shows respect, and that you’re listening. So, when it comes to your partner, it only makes sense you’d give them that same respect.
However, have you ever truly gazed into their eyes for longer than twenty or so seconds? How would you feel if the two of you stared into each other’s eyes for five full minutes? It doesn’t feel natural at first, in fact, pretty awkward. Imagine the connection you would feel though, if you got passed the awkwardness. How would you feel then?
Allowing yourself to truly see your partner will give you a deeper connection than you ever thought possible. Sex Coach Pam Costa shares how gazing a little longer can bring you and your love closer than ever in her Down to There blog…
Q: Dear Emily,
I have been having sex with my girlfriend for eight months now, and was a virgin before her. Although she’s a lot more experienced than me sexually, she has never been in a same-sex relationship before, and we are figuring everything out together. The sex that we have is amazing, but up until now we’ve gone solo equipment-wise. We’re now looking to bring some toys into the bedroom, and I’m looking for ideas.
You talk about different toys that you enjoy on your show, but it’s mostly in reference to masturbation. Do you have any recommendations for a lesbian couple? We both really enjoy external stimulation, but are open to anything! Love the show and thanks for the help!
Society places a lot of labels on single people which, if you’re single, can be frustrating. Emily has your back and so does Dr. Nikki Goldstein with her new book, Single But Dating! On today’s show, Emily joins Nikki at her book launch in San Francisco to explore and discuss how you can lead an empowered, healthy, and gratifying dating life!