Everything changes when you become a mom. Your body, your heart, your brain and your libido. It’s a top to bottom overhaul of the things that used to matter, the way you spend your time and money and your ability to remember your own name. You talk about yourself in the third-person using a generic label, and where your ass used to be is now just one long thigh. Your formerly sexy, confident and self-care focused self has left the building, and in her place is someone who cuts her own hair and has 3-week-old string cheese in her purse.
Masturbation has always been a touchy subject in relationships. How exactly do you go about it when you’re having sex on a regular basis? Does masturbating mean that you aren’t that into your partner? Does it mean your partner doesn’t satisfy your needs? What if one partner does it all the time and the other has never even tried?
Masturbation and sex. Two acts so closely related, so immensely scrutinized and so loved by everyone around the planet. Many of us have long enjoyed both pleasure-filled encounters, but some of us let masturbation fall by the wayside—especially when we’re in a relationship. If you can have sex, why bother to masturbate?
While knowing how to please yourself might seem almost like a primitive skill that you’re supposed to be born with, for a lot of women it’s the opposite. In fact, many women reach adulthood believing that thinking, talking about or even exploring the wide world of masturbation is taboo.
Nobody wants to say they met their boo on a stupid dating app. For whatever reason, our culture still associates dating apps with desperation. But here’s the thing: sure, it’d be nice to meet people in person like the good old days when grandpa rode to school on a donkey and your friends actually looked at you instead of their phones when you had conversations, but those days are over. So get with the program, y’all. The survival of our species has always depended on adaptation and willingness to change.
As we celebrate Masturbation May, it’s important to recognize why self-pleasure is so important. Of course this month is all about loving yourself with the goal of an earth-shattering climax, but it’s also about recognizing that masturbation is a healthy and wonderful expression of your amazing sexual self. Masturbation May is also the perfect time to show your lover exactly what feels best for you and your body, and to see what makes your partner hot too. So let’s jump in the shower for our six hottest tips on how to get dirty with some good, clean, masturbation fun.
There are things that everyone does—like grocery shopping, sleeping, working—that are subjects we can share about, those mundane yet anecdotal experiences that are relatable. We commiserate on life with one another and it somehow makes it all less boring or lonely. But there are other things that we all do, too—crying, dealing with death, feeling insecure—that are just harder to talk about. Masturbation falls into that latter category.
From day one as an only child, it was all about ME: my toys, my clothes, my world and ultimately my body. When puberty hit, it became all about ME time; a contemplation and reflection space with a piece of equipment that I suddenly understood after discovering a missing chapter in its user’s manual. An interlude to explore and indulge in any and every twist and turn of a sexual fantasy world that was vertically and horizontally expanding faster than West LA. Yes, there was a little shame in the 15 seconds after planting my flag at the summit, but by and large I felt entitled to this pursuit in the same way many feel about firearms and pedestrian right-of-ways. “I’m doing this and it’s gonna get done. Try and stop me.” Continue Reading
April showers are over and May flowers are in bloom, but the roses aren’t the only things budding this month. Gear up, people! It’s going to be a busy month of getting busy—with yourself! Masturbation Month has arrived.
My dating days are far behind me (I’ve been with my man for a hundred years), but like a lot of soul-searching types, I tend to revisit past relationships in my mind. I think about how grateful I am that things didn’t actually work out the way I wanted them to at the time and about how the timing was just perfect for me to meet my husband when I did. I was emotionally ready for a healthy, no-games relationship.