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Photo by Will Porada on Unsplash

For some people, orgasms are a fun and easy experience.

Others have written off the possibility of achieving them altogether.

Some find it hard to hold off their orgasms and the whole process of sex feels stressful because of it.

All in all, orgasms can be a tricky business.

 

Which is why when I mention orgasm denial, people usually have a lot of questions for me and feelings about it.

So today we are going to explore the exquisite torture (bear with me) of orgasm denial.

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Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash

Sex and play are a natural combination. The more playfulness you can bring to the sex you are having, the better. Not only because it makes sex better, but also because studies show that play enhances overall emotional well-being.  

As the sex therapist and bestselling author, Dr. Mike Dow said, “Sex is the way that adults play.”

 

So let’s get playing…

 

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Unsplash

The questions that get asked the most center around “getting my partner to (insert sexual act here).” The thing is, you’re not going to get your partner to do anything – so let’s get that out of the way.

What you can do, however, is communicate with them in a way to help them see why it is that you want them to (sexual act here).

That’s where the yes/no/maybe lists come in.

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Pexels

For some peculiar reason, modern society raises us to view sexuality as something rigid and fixed, as if our sensuality could be set in stone. You’re gay or you’re straight, trans or cis, vanilla or kinky, and that’s that.

However through both my personal experience, and my years working as a sexuality doula, this doesn’t seem to be the case. At all.

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@womanizerglobal instagram

I was dreaming of the ocean.

I floated calmly, supported by the salty tide as I drifted through the clear blue water, each wave lifting me gently before placing me back down. I watched the birds overhead and felt completely at peace. I felt some seaweed wrap softly around my wrist, so silky and cool. More tendrils wrapped over my other wrist, and then my ankles, but the water supported my weight effortlessly and I wasn’t concerned.

 

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