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good kisser blog sex with emilyAh, Kissing. My favorite adult pastime and the bane of my middle school existence. Being a good kisser may seem simple, but in reality it’s a craft that you work on throughout your entire romantic and sexual life.

Today, in honor of National Kissing Day, we’re giving you a handy little guide for making sure your smooches are the best in the land, without any pillow practice.

It’s time to pucker up and put your money where your mouth is!

Here’s how to land the perfect peck:

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text dom blog sex with emilyFor all the BDSM lovers out there, this ongoing quarantine may have put a wrench in your dynamic. On top of ordering face masks and keeping our hands clean, you might not have the ability to meet up as frequently as you’d like. Luckily, you don’t have to be in the same room to keep up with your Dom/sub lifestyle. You can keep your power dynamic at the tip of your fingers, through text.

Texting can be a great way to Dom someone. For one thing, your commands are right there in black and white – less room for misinterpretation.

Here are some ways you can Dom someone via text. As always, consent is key for any and all BDSM activity, including communicating via text.

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humiliation blog sex with emilyWhen we think about great sex, a positive and pleasure-packed experience is what often comes to mind. However, for some out there, it’s something a little darker that does the trick! All thanks to two little words: humiliation and degradation.

You’ve probably heard it and seen it. Perhaps it was while watching porn. Perhaps it was while watching a blockbuster film of a certain shade of gray. But erotic humiliation is yet another powerful way to spice up your sex play.

From exploring power dynamics to testing emotional boundaries, it’s something that – albeit may sometimes feel extreme – can open up a whole new world of intimate possibilities with the right partner.

Interested? Thought so. Let’s do a deeper dive:

 

FIRST OFF, THE BASICS

In a nutshell, erotic humiliation/degradation refers to getting aroused from the cocktail of emotions that come with being teased, demeaned and degraded. Humiliation includes belittlement, commands, sexual stimulation, etc. Degradation includes insults, name calling,  – the works.

On the mild side of the spectrum, it looks like someone calling you a “stupid little baby”. On the extreme side it looks like getting hogtied and orgasm-tortured while everyone at the sex party points and laughs. These acts under normal circumstances are the sorts of things that usually make people feel uncomfortable or shamed, but erotic humiliation completely flips the switch on those core emotions, plus so much more. 

 

Although erotic humiliation is popular within the BDSM scene, it’s also worth clarifying the two have a few stark differences. Unlike some kinky interests, erotic humiliation is not about the humiliation-causing acts themselves, rather the emotions they elicit. Humiliation is a form of submission, but not all submission has to entail humiliation/degradation tactics.

 

WHERE’S THE PLEASURE?

One person’s pain can be another person’s pleasure. Sexiness is subjective. It’s hard to pinpoint from where the appeal 100% stems. Sure, it’s easy to associate humiliation with that one embarrassing day in sixth grade gym class. But for many it can be a supremely, surprisingly freeing and healing experience. 

A huge element of sexual exploration is getting to dip your toes into things that are sometimes considered taboo. In the world of kink and fetish, there are endless types of power dynamic. Whether it’s a Dom/sub, DDlg, or furry play, carrying out something that safely and consensually pushes the boundaries of human experience can feel liberating without a doubt. This is especially true when doing it with a trusted partner that’s on the same page as you. 

 

MAKE IT YOUR OWN

What sets this one apart from some other fetishes is the fact that it’s subjective AND doesn’t even have to be inherently sexual. Since the name of the sensuous game is feeling humiliation, everything from the dialogue and physicality, to level of overt sexuality depends on those involved.

Some people find receiving it hot, others enjoy dishing it out, and sometimes it’s a mix of both. The humiliation can happen in public at a sex party, or in the privacy of your own sex dungeon. Despite the fetish looking different from situation to situation, the one non-negotiable is both partners truly knowing each other – and what words, tones and actions will actually drive it all home. 

 

SAFETY FIRST! (& HOW TO DO IT)

In addition to being on the same page with your partner, the other golden rule of erotic humiliation is that consent, as always, is absolutely everything.

Ahead of jumping into the hot and heavy action, having a candid conversation about what you how you want to engage in humiliation and degradation is the hands-down best way to kick things off. When playing with your emotions erotically, the experience can go in many different directions. It’s good to discuss and establish mutually agreed-upon boundaries, as well as have a safe word in your back pocket just in case. 

After it all goes down, you additionally want to allow some time for aftercare and not be afraid to talk about the experience in general. Not only will reflecting upon the experience help you figure out how you felt about it, but a joint debrief can definitely reveal what worked as well as what didn’t for improving upon moving forward. 

 

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When it comes to any fetish, you ultimately just have to do you. But knowing they are an insanely interesting way to explore some of the most basic building blocks to any healthy relationship…well, it just keeps things all the more interesting, right?

 

 


Alex Anderson is an LA-based lifestyle designer proactively raging against the cultural grain. By day she works in television production, and by night enjoys writing, sewing and seeking guidance from the stars. She also finally has an all black kitty named “Cher.” You can follow her alt-lifestyle blog MSFT Living and on Instagram!

tickle blog sex with emilyRemember those wholesome tickle fights you had at sleepovers? It all might sound like wholesome fun to some of us, but to others…it’s sexy as hell.

It’s well known that us horndogs can make ANYTHING into a fetish: feet, bees, falling down the stairs. You name it, and someone finds it sexy. Which leads me to our latest fetish spotlight: tickling.

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vagina blog sex with emily

The vagina. A sex organ. A woman’s genitalia. It is one of the very few things in existence that garners universal obsession of the masses. Its reputation is unmatched in its complexity.

Some regard it as the holy grail of every prepubescent male. Some seek its amity for the entirety of their lives. Others call it the Rubick’s cube of life.

It is the tunnel traveled by new life at birth. A ubiquitous symbol of strength and femininity. It is the anatomical emblem for women across the world. Beautiful, mysterious, pleasurable and perfect.

There are many things the vagina IS. But lest we forget, let us remind ourselves, there are many more things the vagina is NOT:

 

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large-2Consent. It’s a seemingly simple concept that, for many reasons, is largely misunderstood. How can something as easy as a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer be so misconstrued, so often? Contrary to popular belief, ignorance is not always bliss. You may think you know when there’s consent, but unless you’re 100 percent on the same page as your potential sexual partner, the actual act of sex with them remains strictly a possibility. Continue Reading

prostate blog sex with emily2020 – a year of uncertainty, change and growth. It’s the new election cycle, a new decade, a health emergency, and an order to stay at home. But it can also be a time to try things that you may have been meaning to get to on your list. Whether that is trying a new hair style, or seeing if crop tops are ‘your thing’, it might be time to also try some new things on the sexual frontier. One of those could be prostate play. 

 

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dpy bdsm blog sex with emilySo, you’re stuck at home with your sweetie. You’ve cooked soup, watched everything Netflix has to offer, and…now what? Well, may I suggest getting your heart racing with some BDSM? Now that we’re all home alone, trying something new sexually is easier than ever. But…where to get those supplies?

Don’t wait around to have nipple clamps delivered or break the bank getting the custom made paddles of your dreams. You’ve probably got most of the stuff you need to get started in your own house. We call these items pervertables: regular items that you can pervert to make all your sexy BDSM fantasies come true.

So without further ado: here’s some DIY BDSM tools you might have laying around your house, and what to do with them.

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make-up sex blog sex with emilyAh, make-up sex. One of the greatest joys in life. Like a fine wine, sex is best after you’ve just had a horrible argument about the dishes (there’s clean and then there’s CLEAN).

Maybe you broke up, maybe you fought like cats and dogs, maybe you took a break. Whatever led you and your sweetie to distance yourself from each other, coming back together is always the best part.

Here are some tips and tricks for how to get it in, after you and your cutie have been on the outs. 

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