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butt sex blog sex with emily

Regardless of how “adventurous” you consider yourself in the bedroom, butt sex can feel tricky to even the most experienced. But to anyone who thinks it’s doggy style or bust, it’s time to think again, my friends! 

Anal August is coming to a close, and it’s our goal to spend the month paying tribute to the world of backdoor play. As social stigmas surrounding it have begun to melt further away, there’s no denying it’s something a lot of people are growing more curious to try. However, if you aren’t yet an ace when it comes to anal, it’s important to know there are a ton of different ways to do it – positions, most definitely included. 

So how do you figure out which one will make and not break the experience? Well, it often depends on your experience level. But no matter how well versed in the art of butt play you may or may not be, we totally have your back with this master list of favorite anal sex-friendly positions.

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rimming blog sex with emilyWe’re move through the month of Anal August. We’re exploring cheek to cheek. So let’s talk about getting up close and personal with the anus, by the way of rimming.

Analingus, or rimming, is the art of pleasuring the backdoor orally. It’s been an under the sheets practice, and now that it’s out in the open, let’s dive into some fun moves! We’re going to explore why it’s becoming so popular, how to get over the b-hole jitters, plus techniques, tips, and tricks to toss the salad. Continue Reading

dos and donts of anal blog sex with emilyHappy Anal August everyone! As the days again begin to get shorter, it can feel like time for change! Whether that’s going back to school, getting a new haircut, or diving into something new sexually. For a lot of people, that something sexually new can be a first-time entry into the backdoor. 

So after you have thoroughly washed your backdoor and prepared yourself mentally, let’s get to the fun stuff and break down the dos and don’ts of anal!

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ease into anal blog sex with emilyAnal sex: it might not be everyone’s immediate cup of tea. But with Anal August upon us, we’d like to remind you that if you’re open and willing, anyone can get into it. Pun intended.

If you have some fear around anal arousal… please keep reading! Easing into it is the way to go.

You may not know this, but there is a whole host of anal play that does not involve penetration! Call it anal foreplay, or call it just plain fun, here is an introductory guide to easing into backdoor play.

How can you play around the butt without going full-on hardcore penetration and with ease? Let us count the ways!!!

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financial domination blog sex with emilyThere are many different kinds of fetishes in the world. This fetish spotlight is on “Financial domination” (or “Findom” for short).

I find this fetish to be one of the most interesting – and often misunderstood. The sexual attraction in this fetish generally comes from the exchange of money. Financial domination “is a very real fetish involving a submissive being ‘forced’ to give money to the Dominant.” 

So what’s the deal? How does this fetish play out, what’s the appeal, and how do you get into it? Let’s unpack this kinky arrangement.

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good kisser blog sex with emilyAh, Kissing. My favorite adult pastime and the bane of my middle school existence. Being a good kisser may seem simple, but in reality it’s a craft that you work on throughout your entire romantic and sexual life.

Today, we’re giving you a handy little guide for making sure your smooches are the best in the land, without any pillow practice.

It’s time to pucker up and put your money where your mouth is!

Here’s how to land the perfect peck:

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text dom blog sex with emilyFor all the BDSM lovers out there, this ongoing quarantine may have put a wrench in your dynamic. On top of ordering face masks and keeping our hands clean, you might not have the ability to meet up as frequently as you’d like. Luckily, you don’t have to be in the same room to keep up with your Dom/sub lifestyle. You can keep your power dynamic at the tip of your fingers, through text.

Texting can be a great way to Dom someone. For one thing, your commands are right there in black and white – less room for misinterpretation.

Here are some ways you can Dom someone via text. As always, consent is key for any and all BDSM activity, including communicating via text.

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humiliation blog sex with emilyWhen we think about great sex, a positive and pleasure-packed experience is what often comes to mind. However, for some out there, it’s something a little darker that does the trick! All thanks to two little words: humiliation and degradation.

You’ve probably heard it and seen it. Perhaps it was while watching porn. Perhaps it was while watching a blockbuster film of a certain shade of gray. But erotic humiliation is yet another powerful way to spice up your sex play.

From exploring power dynamics to testing emotional boundaries, it’s something that – albeit may sometimes feel extreme – can open up a whole new world of intimate possibilities with the right partner.

Interested? Thought so. Let’s do a deeper dive:

 

FIRST OFF, THE BASICS

In a nutshell, erotic humiliation/degradation refers to getting aroused from the cocktail of emotions that come with being teased, demeaned and degraded. Humiliation includes belittlement, commands, sexual stimulation, etc. Degradation includes insults, name calling,  – the works.

On the mild side of the spectrum, it looks like someone calling you a “stupid little baby”. On the extreme side it looks like getting hogtied and orgasm-tortured while everyone at the sex party points and laughs. These acts under normal circumstances are the sorts of things that usually make people feel uncomfortable or shamed, but erotic humiliation completely flips the switch on those core emotions, plus so much more. 

 

Although erotic humiliation is popular within the BDSM scene, it’s also worth clarifying the two have a few stark differences. Unlike some kinky interests, erotic humiliation is not about the humiliation-causing acts themselves, rather the emotions they elicit. Humiliation is a form of submission, but not all submission has to entail humiliation/degradation tactics.

 

WHERE’S THE PLEASURE?

One person’s pain can be another person’s pleasure. Sexiness is subjective. It’s hard to pinpoint from where the appeal 100% stems. Sure, it’s easy to associate humiliation with that one embarrassing day in sixth grade gym class. But for many it can be a supremely, surprisingly freeing and healing experience. 

A huge element of sexual exploration is getting to dip your toes into things that are sometimes considered taboo. In the world of kink and fetish, there are endless types of power dynamic. Whether it’s a Dom/sub, DDlg, or furry play, carrying out something that safely and consensually pushes the boundaries of human experience can feel liberating without a doubt. This is especially true when doing it with a trusted partner that’s on the same page as you. 

 

MAKE IT YOUR OWN

What sets this one apart from some other fetishes is the fact that it’s subjective AND doesn’t even have to be inherently sexual. Since the name of the sensuous game is feeling humiliation, everything from the dialogue and physicality, to level of overt sexuality depends on those involved.

Some people find receiving it hot, others enjoy dishing it out, and sometimes it’s a mix of both. The humiliation can happen in public at a sex party, or in the privacy of your own sex dungeon. Despite the fetish looking different from situation to situation, the one non-negotiable is both partners truly knowing each other – and what words, tones and actions will actually drive it all home. 

 

SAFETY FIRST! (& HOW TO DO IT)

In addition to being on the same page with your partner, the other golden rule of erotic humiliation is that consent, as always, is absolutely everything.

Ahead of jumping into the hot and heavy action, having a candid conversation about what you how you want to engage in humiliation and degradation is the hands-down best way to kick things off. When playing with your emotions erotically, the experience can go in many different directions. It’s good to discuss and establish mutually agreed-upon boundaries, as well as have a safe word in your back pocket just in case. 

After it all goes down, you additionally want to allow some time for aftercare and not be afraid to talk about the experience in general. Not only will reflecting upon the experience help you figure out how you felt about it, but a joint debrief can definitely reveal what worked as well as what didn’t for improving upon moving forward. 

 

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When it comes to any fetish, you ultimately just have to do you. But knowing they are an insanely interesting way to explore some of the most basic building blocks to any healthy relationship…well, it just keeps things all the more interesting, right?

 

 


Alex Anderson is an LA-based lifestyle designer proactively raging against the cultural grain. By day she works in television production, and by night enjoys writing, sewing and seeking guidance from the stars. She also finally has an all black kitty named “Cher.” You can follow her alt-lifestyle blog MSFT Living and on Instagram!

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