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Q: DEAR EMILY,

I am a 23-year-old lesbian, and my dating pool seems more like a puddle. I’m shy, so walking up to a woman in a bar isn’t really my thing. Conversely, I’m very feminine and have been told that women can’t easily tell that I’m gay, making me unapproachable for women who are too scared to ask.

Last but not least, I’ve noticed that I’m attracted to older women and find myself being intimidated by them because I’m not very sexually experienced.

Basically, I need suggestions on where to meet women and how to be more confident and put myself out there.

Please help!

Cassie, 23, Kentucky

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Think back to those middle school/high school days. Remember that algebra class or those standardized-tests the state forced you to take every year? Do you get a little queasy thinking about the exams you studied for? The sweaty palms, the foot-tapping, the chewing on the eraser end of your pencil…?

Even as grown-ups, there’s no shortage of stress-inducing situations we find ourselves in; only difference is, we’ve learned a few tricks to handle that “fight-or-flight” feeling a lot better than we did in math class. I’m willing to bet that for many of us reading this, social confidence has been one of our new “rites of passage,” and the reason for many of those anxious-filled stories. Able-bodied or not, stress and anxiety can throw you off your game at school, at work, and definitely when it comes to dating and relationships.

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On today’s show, Emily is joined by Corinne Fisher & Krystyna Hutchinson, creators of the podcast “Guys We Fucked” and authors of the new book, Fucked…Being Sexually Explorative & Self-Confident In a World That’s Screwed, to talk about confidence and self acceptance, not only in the bedroom, but in all areas of your life.

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Turn the lights down low and turn the volume up for today’s show. Emily welcomes back her friend and fellow podcaster Brooke Burke-Charvet, host of the Brooke Burke Show to talk about the importance of different forms of touch play, what to do when your kid finds your sex toys, and tips for initiating sex!

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