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Dear Emily,

I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years, and love him to bits. He’s great! The only thing that kinda gets me down is that he doesn’t last as long as he used to. He says that he’s just too turned on, which I guess I understand, but he doesn’t try to help me finish. What can I do to help him last longer? And how can I get him to understand that he should be helping ME orgasm too, not rolling over and passing out?

Thank you for your insight!
Miranda from Canada

Okay Miranda, this is a sensitive situation, and not entirely uncommon. Men’s stamina has a tendency to fluctuate over time, so I’m not concerned here—there are plenty of ways you can work together to help him last longer. What I’m more concerned about is the fact that he doesn’t seem to care about pleasing you first. Continue Reading

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I’m just going to put this out there — I have had quite a bit of mediocre sex.

No disrespect to my past partners, I certainly had a part in it as well. I expected them all to read my mind and KNOW what I wanted, without ever actually telling them what I wanted. And like many women out there, I gave epic orgasmic performances and handed out positive feedback to guys who didn’t even come close to earning it.

And then something wonderful happened. The sex started getting better! A lot of that had to do with the fact that I started to figure out what I liked in bed and became more comfortable asking for it. But there was also a shift in my partners’ bedroom attitudes that made a big difference. Whether I was choosing more considerate guys, or the guys I always flocked to had done some maturing, I can’t be sure. But all of a sudden, my partners genuinely cared about whether I was having a good time. And as a result, I WAS having a good time.  Continue Reading

Have the stresses of the season put a damper on your sex drive? On today’s show, Emily is full of advice to help you de-stress and sexually connect during the hectic holidays. Plus, she answers your listener emails regarding the best sex toys for gifting, escaping extramarital affairs and unearthing elusive orgasms. Continue Reading

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4c7cb96349e2ced2aff5d2883669ed43Let’s talk about orgasms, or lack thereof, as the case may be. The key ingredient for great sex generally centers around both parties leaving satisfied, yes? According to research published in the Journal of Sex & Martial Therapy (2006), women were about two and a half times more likely to feel sexually satisfied when they achieved orgasm. No surprise there. Unfortunately, this simple task becomes a little more difficult, thanks to something known as the orgasm gap. Continue Reading

QS-instagramA few weeks ago, I was teaching a workshop at the Hustler Hollywood store in Los Angeles called “Back to Sex Ed Basics” with the intent of covering everything that you WISHED you learned in sex ed, but didn’t.

I always give the option of having the audience submit anonymous questions because, let’s face it, not everyone feels comfortable raising their hand in a room full of strangers, especially to ask questions about sex.

My team arranged the questions in piles labeled by topic, including “Oral sex questions”, “Safe sex questions” and  “Blow Job questions.”

When it came time to address the pressing blow job questions, I picked up the pile and sifted through the submissions only to find something remarkable. Every single card in the pile had a variation of the same question: “How do I work through my gag reflex when performing oral sex on my partner?.” Continue Reading

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