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glamour

Q: DEAR EMILY,

Stocksy

I have been with my boyfriend for about a year. He recently transferred law schools, so now we’re in a long-distance relationship. I’m so proud of him, but in a shocking twist, not as psyched about the distance. I really value physical touch in love-language-speak and, well, long-distance makes that a bit difficult.

At first, sexting and phone sex were new and exciting for the two of us, but it’s become harder to initiate with him back in school and living with roommates (yes, I know, another glorious shift). Do you have any recommendations for keeping things hot?

Any advice would be appreciated, and thanks again for all that you do!

Amy, 27, SC

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

pexels

Hi Emily!

I have an extremely healthy (and safe) sex life with my boyfriend—but here’s my issue. I have no idea how to talk dirty. Normally I’d say how great he feels inside of me, tell him to put his hands here or there, but I get stuck after this. I don’t want to sound like a porn star, but I do want him to be turned on from what I say.

What can I say besides this to turn him on that isn’t too intense?

Marci, 27

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

pexels

I’ve been dating my current boyfriend for just about a year now, and he’s amazing! We have great sex, but it’s not always the most exciting. He regularly asks me what I’m interested in, but I don’t know how to approach the topic. We recently took a sex questionnaire (where you compare answers at the end), and it really helped me to get some of my wants out on the table—which he’s been very responsive to—but I’d still like to try some more exciting things, like temperature play and being tied down.

How do I bring these up without (a) scaring the pants off him and (b) making him feel bad? Because I love our sex, I just think it could be more intense and sensual.

Amelia, 26, France

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

GUILLE FAINGOD

My boyfriend and I have always had great sex—and had it pretty frequently. But within the last year, with the crazy-busy schedules we have, we’re having a hard time getting on the same page. When we have sex it’s great, but we never seem to be wanting it at the same time.

Since then, my other problem has been something I’ve never had an issue with before: I’ve been getting dry. It doesn’t happen until my boyfriend puts a condom on. He never thought we needed lube, but it’s making sex uncomfortable and hard to enjoy.

What can I do?Thanks!

Cathy, 24, Missouri

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I happened to be in a local store and wandered over to where they keep condoms. I had no idea there are so many different kinds! Where does a beginner start? Are women responsible for buying condoms? What about latex allergies? And lastly, what should I keep in my nightstand? Do I have to buy various types and sizes since I’ll have no idea what my date may be into?

Help! I’m so lost.

—Karen

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

Dear Emily,

I’m very educated about sexual health and open-minded sexually, but I have a hard time accepting my boyfriend’s porn habit. We have a great sex life and try new things, but he still watches porn. I can’t help wondering…aren’t I enough?I’ve seen porn before, and I know most guys watch it, but I can’t help feeling a little insecure. Is he comparing me to these women? Is that how he wants me to act? It isn’t fair for me to ask him to stop, so how can I get used to it?Please help!

Janine, 27, Iowa

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

Stocksy

I recently started seeing a guy, and although his penis is magnificent and huge, it’s an even huger problem. I’m a petite woman, and so far sex with him has been very painful. I’ve managed to get through it multiple times, but I’m always incredibly sore afterward.

Is there anything I can do to lessen the pain, or is the fact his penis is too big something I’ll have to get used to?

Thanks!

Penelope, age 22

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

stocksy

Long story short, I’m soon to be divorced, and a big portion of why we’re getting divorced has to do with not having sex for close to three years. I’ve recently started seeing someone and am feeling like a virgin all over again! What advice do you have for someone who’s ready to get back in the saddle, but is so nervous about not being good in bed?

Please help!

Lindsey, 28, North Carolina

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

Getty Images

I’m just gonna dive right in. When I was 17 years old, I had never orgasmed, despite having had one or two sexual partners. So I did some research. I read that placing your clit right underneath running water is a way to reach orgasm! So, I tried it. And to this day, it is the only way I can climax.

I have a serious boyfriend now, who I have amazing sex with, but I don’t orgasm with him. What do I do? Am I doomed to only come in the presence of running water?

May, age 19

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

I am a 23-year-old lesbian, and my dating pool seems more like a puddle. I’m shy, so walking up to a woman in a bar isn’t really my thing. Conversely, I’m very feminine and have been told that women can’t easily tell that I’m gay, making me unapproachable for women who are too scared to ask.

Last but not least, I’ve noticed that I’m attracted to older women and find myself being intimidated by them because I’m not very sexually experienced.

Basically, I need suggestions on where to meet women and how to be more confident and put myself out there.

Please help!

Cassie, 23, Kentucky

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