Q: Dear Emily:
I’m a gay woman who can’t really get off from vaginal penetration, but I like anal penetration. Some partners might have been surprised, but most have being willing to penetrate me anally.
Now I’m dating a new woman who’s nine years older than me, and she’s having a hard time wrapping her mind around my request. She says she doesn’t want to do it because she doesn’t want to hurt me, but I keep telling her I’ve already done it and can walk her through it.
I’d hate for this to be the end of our relationship. Can I do anything to reassure her that I’ll be OK and even enjoy it?
Q: Dear Emily,
I have been having sex with my girlfriend for eight months now, and was a virgin before her. Although she’s a lot more experienced than me sexually, she has never been in a same-sex relationship before, and we are figuring everything out together. The sex that we have is amazing, but up until now we’ve gone solo equipment-wise. We’re now looking to bring some toys into the bedroom, and I’m looking for ideas.
You talk about different toys that you enjoy on your show, but it’s mostly in reference to masturbation. Do you have any recommendations for a lesbian couple? We both really enjoy external stimulation, but are open to anything! Love the show and thanks for the help!
Q: DEAR EMILY,
My husband (age 33) and I have been married for two years, together
for three and a half. In the beginning sex was fun, passionate and frequent. Now it seems like my libido is non existent, and I’m perfectly happy having sex once or twice a week (or less). His libido is as high as ever; he wants it once or twice per day, and doesn’t really like masturbating (though he will when he’s desperate).
When we don’t have sex as often as he wants, he gets frustrated and very cranky, so I feel obliged to participate as frequently as possible, but sometimes I’m just plain tired or feel lazy. Sometimes I’ll just have sex with him even if I don’t want to, hoping that I can get aroused once we get going. Half the time this works and I orgasm, and the rest of the time I go through the motions that usually work, and nothing happens. It’s like I can’t get my brain into it no matter what! We have toys, we try new things and we do some foreplay (though I’m sure could always use more). This is extremely frustrating for both of us.
I used to be super horny in my teens and 20s, and now I could hardly care less. How can I get my brain to want more sex?Am I just getting old? (Just FYI: I did go off the pill about a year and half ago, if you think that’s a factor.)
Q: DEAR EMILY,
I have been with my husband now for nine years (married for nearly five). We have two children, ages six and four. We have always had really good sex, even from the first time. I always have multiple orgasms and always orgasm before him.
We are going away for a “dirty weekend” next month to celebrate our five-year wedding anniversary. I want to take advantage of this time and do something new with him. We have never felt the need for sex toys, but I think it could be fun to try some now. What toys would you recommend using that we can both enjoy and not feel too intimidated by?
Thanks so much,
Q: Hi Emily,
I’m a 21-year-old woman who hates being on top during sex. I have never liked it. Aside from feeling like my guy is getting a really awful angle/view of my body, I just don’t feel like I do a good job. How can I incorporate being on top without feeling so uncomfortable?
Are there certain techniques I can try? I know I have to work on letting go of the idea that he’s seeing me from a bad angle, and I’m trying. What’s the best way to be on top? Am I doing it wrong? Ugh, help! Continue Reading
I recently got out of a long-term relationship and jumped into dating—literally! Now I’m seeing three different people, something I’ve never done before, and need some advice on how to handle it.
Is there supposed to be a waiting period in between partners? Can I have sex with two different people in a week (with protection, of course)? If we use my sex toys, can I use them with multiple guys? Also, what’s the etiquette for telling a person I’m not monogamous in a way that won’t hurt them? I just want to be single and date around for a while, but it’s all so complicated!
Any advice would be appreciated,
Q: Dear Emily
I’ve been with my boyfriend for around eight months and have still never had a REAL orgasm during sex. And as if this isn’t bad enough, I’ve been faking it! I know—it’s terrible! My partner has no idea, I just get so in my head about it and I want to make him feel good about his performance, but now I’m sick of performing. I want the real deal and I know I need to be honest with him, I just don’t know how to confess without hurting his feelings. How do I approach this?
Thanks, A Continue Reading
Q: Dear Emily
I met a man while traveling, we have been talking for a while since, and now he’s coming to visit. We haven’t been intimate yet, but I have a feeling that it will happen while he’s here. Which leads me to my question…
When I have sex, I produce a lot of female ejaculate, and if previous measures are not taken, the bed really isn’t suitable to sleep in after. I want to give this guy a heads-up, but I don’t really know how to approach this. Also I don’t want him to be disappointed if, for some reason, I do not “squirt” the first time with him (which has happened before).
Should I tell him beforehand? If so, how? Or should I just let it be a surprise?
With love, Sage
Labor Day weekend is basically a going-away party for the summer season. And just like any fond farewell, there are some seriously mixed emotions involved. Some will welcome it with open arms, excited for the coming days of sweaters, scarves, and pumpkin spice lattes, others will mourn the loss of beach days and barbecues.
Whichever camp you fall into, one thing’s for certain: It’s time to have some very hot end-of-summer sex. Continue Reading
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about eight months. We’ve spent a lot of time learning each other’s bodies, figuring out what turns us on and exploring new things together. In general, the sex is really hot. There’s just one issue in the bedroom: He doesn’t shut up! I know he gets really turned on by dirty talk so I’m working on getting better at it, but he takes it to a whole other level, asking “Do you love me? How much do you love me? Tell me how much you want this d—k!” over and over again. I have no idea how to respond to any of this in a sexy way. And when I don’t answer, he just keeps prodding me! It’s so distracting, it totally takes me out of the moment. It’s even making it hard for me to climax. How can I bring this up to him without offending him?
Love, Lauren, 24