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sexual independence blog sex with emilySexual independence is all about taking control of your own pleasure. There may be other people involved in the process, but when it comes down to it, your pleasure is your prerogative. 

You may expect your partner to pick you up from the airport. You probably expect them to remember your birthday and to fix the shower curtain that they broke. Yet, I’m sorry to tell you, you can’t expect your partner to be responsible for your orgasms.

In movies and TV, sex usually looks like three or four thrusts followed by simultaneously orgasming. Of course, anyone that’s ever had sex knows that it usually takes a little bit more than that to really get sent over the edge. And while you may want your partner to whisk you away and do what they will with you, the truth is, when it comes to your orgasms, you’re the one in charge. Here’s how to take control of your own pleasure.

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sex toys men blog sex with emilyMost people think that sex toys are just for women, but that is not the case! In fact, they can be an amazing addition to any man’s sexual arsenal. Whether you’re going solo or with a partner, toys can deepen your pleasure, increase your erection time, boost sexual satisfaction during partnered sex, and help you experience multiple orgasms.

Today, we are going to explore five key reasons why you should try out a new sex toy or two. Or four. Or more. Who’s counting?

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squirt blog sex with emilyAhhhh, squirting. The holy grail of female pleasure. The myth, the legend, the bed sheets!

Now whether or not you’ve squirted, you might be a little confused as to what exactly it is. Is it pee? Is it ejaculate? Perhaps a little super soaker some pornstars hide in their vagina? Truth be told, as with many aspects of vaginal health, there’s a lot of conflicting information about this aquatic phenomenon.

Today we’re going to set the record straight with this comprehensive guide to squirting. So, put on something waterproof, because we’re about to get wet and wild! 

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wand erotica blog sex with emilyYou know that feeling when you’re in a new relationship, and you just can’t wait to get home so you can ravage your beloved?

When you’re driving and you feel your hands clam up, the hairs on your arm stand erect, and you get so wet you’re afraid that you might ruin your new upholstery?

Well that’s how I feel…coming home to me.

It all started a few weeks ago when I decided to treat myself. I had just gone through a breakup with a guy who couldn’t or wouldn’t get me off and I thought, enough is enough. If he’s not going to do it, then I’m going to get it done. I’ve always been resourceful like that.

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feel beginners masturbation blog sex with emilyIf you were to write a book about all the things you didn’t learn in sex ed class, it would be three times as long (and three times as useful) as a book about what we did learn. It feels like we covered the medical names of all our parts and were fed some fear-mongering stats about pregnancy and STIs. For most, we somehow completely skipped over the fact that 1. You can orgasm. And 2. You can orgasm all by your damn self. 

Don’t be fooled, like driving a car or making a food that isn’t mac and cheese from the box, masturbation is something you have to learn. And even if you had the most liberal or extensive health classes in school, chances are there wasn’t a unit on making yourself finish. (And if there was please let me know what school you went to.) 

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masturbation myth blog sex with emilyAs a wise JT once said, “It’s gonna be May”. And with that comes one of our favorite occasions of the year: National Masturbation Month!

An entire month dedicated to the glorious pleasure past-time, Masturbation May is here! Let’s kickstart the conversation about why self-love is a healthy, normal part of sexuality that we should absolutely embrace year-round. 

It has been around since the beginning of time. But theres still a staggering amount of shame, stigma and false information surrounding it.

So to help the cause, we’re here to debunk some of the biggest, baddest (and craziest) masturbation myths! We’ll prove that it’s not only totally natural, but good for you, too! 

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running water blog sex with emilyDEAR EMILY,

When I was 17 years old, I had never orgasmed, despite having had one or two sexual partners. I read that placing your clit right underneath running water is a way to reach orgasm! So, I tried it. And to this day, it is the only way I can climax.

I have a serious boyfriend now, but I don’t orgasm with him. What do I do? Am I doomed to only come in the presence of running water?

May, age 19

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teach blog sex with emilyDespite what you may see in TV or movies, the best sex demands open and explicit communication. It’s unlikely that in two seconds and two halfhearted thrusts, you’ll be reaching your climax, overcome by endless waves of orgasm and howling with euphoria. 

Though your partner may really “get” you, and heck, they may even know how to make your body feel aaaamazing — it’s not always easy to express what we want to our partners. Let alone teach it.

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