Once you settle into a long term relationship, sex becomes a whole compilation of “go-to” moves. You know what spots to hit and where to hit them, you’ve got your positions down pat. It makes sex easy—effortless, actually!
But the longer you’re with your partner, the more likely you are to end up lodged in an unintended sexual stalemate. The idea of revamping your sex life can be a little overwhelming, depending on just how stuck in a rut you and your partner are.
When it comes to giving your sex life a spring cleaning, don’t feel like you have to become a completely different person in the bedroom; remember they’re with you for a reason! There’s comfort in the familiar. But just because it ain’t broke doesn’t mean it couldn’t be tweaked a little bit here and there, in order to become even better.
I currently live with my boyfriend of five years, whom I love so much. Recently, we completely stopped having sex for almost a year because we were so busy starting our careers. We realized this was a big problem and have been working on ways to improve it, mostly by planning out times to have sex. It’s going well, we’re having sex more often, but now it feels like there’s no spontaneity left. What are some ways we can fix this and bring the excitement back?
Let me preface this by saying, good for you, J! It’s great that you and your partner were able to recognize the problem in the bedroom and are now working to make sex a priority. It might not feel like the stuff of romance novels—“Today’s To-Do List: Exercise, cook dinner, fold laundry, have sex”—but the good news is, you’re on the right track! Continue Reading
I have a question regarding sex with my fiancé. We really only have sex on the weekends, maybe once or twice on Saturday or on Sunday morning. He works long hours and is often very tired after work, and he has stated on multiple occasions that he doesn’t feel like having sex when he is tired. Personally, I would love to be getting busy more often, but I always end up feeling like he’s just not into it.
Recently I brought up these feelings to him and he admitted that he is often too tired to initiate sex, but he wouldn’t turn me down if I got things started. He has always been the initiator in our relationship, so I know it’s my turn to make the first move, but I’m having trouble getting things started. How can I get better at initiating sex?
On today’s show, Emily is joined by guest host Lynette Carolla of the For Crying Out Loud podcast, as well as comedian, actress and best-selling author Heather McDonald. Together, this powerhouse trifecta of female podcasters dish on the latest celebrity scandals, secrets for having a lasting marriage and, of course, sex! Continue Reading
Q: Dear Emily,
My boyfriend and I have a great sex life, but there is one issue that keeps popping up. He recently asked me to pleasure myself in front of him, and it’s not the first time he has made this request. I masturbate from time to time, but never in front of another person! I feel like masturbation is such a private activity and trying to do it in front of him feels awkward and forced. The last time he asked, I got angry and told him to do it himself and see how it feels, but my plan backfired because he totally loved it. Why is this such a big turn on for him? And how can I masturbate for my BF without feeling so uncomfortable?
Self-Love Self Conscious
Are your sexual hangups stopping you from having the sex and relationships you’ve always wanted? In this podcast, Emily and Menace answer your emails and give advice to help you overcome your sexual obstacles. Today’s topics include sexual stamina, unexpected bisexual fantasies, fake orgasms, a lack of orgasms and a relationship lacking in sexual chemistry. Plus, a sex in the news story that has everything: Cheating, witchcraft, public fornication, an angry mob, and the medical term for a penis getting stuck inside a vagina (no, not marriage!)
In the three months I’ve been a part of the Sex With Emily team, I have gone from a girl with one sex toy to a girl with a whole sex drawer. Now, this might freak some guys out, but I am lucky enough to have been blessed with an extremely open-minded boyfriend. When I come home with a new toy to try out or some “research” to do, my boyfriend is always more than supportive – In fact, sometimes I think he gets more excited than I do!
But recently I had started to get the notion that he might be feeling a little left out. Yes, our sex life has improved (check my last blog to find out how!) and yes, he gets to play with the toys too, but it seemed like I was the one having all the fun. I had multiple toys for my own pleasure, and the poor guy was stuck with just his hand to take care of him in my off-hours.
Here’s the thing about my guy: He is ALL about the gadgets. From the latest Apple products to the best razors to the top-of-the-line in E-Hookah accessories (he doesn’t even smoke..?), my boyfriend lives for new toys that can bring him enjoyment or make his life easier. Knowing this, and also keeping his super-powered libido in mind, I decided to get him something that would put a little boost of excitement into his solo sex life.
This week’s show is all about the secret to your sexual powers, your sex drive! Emily talks about how to get the amount of sex you crave and what to do when your libido takes a dive. She covers some of the lesser known sex issues, including a woman with a secret porn habit, a few ladies whose husbands aren’t into sex, and a man who divorces his wife over her insatiable sexual appetite.
Quick pop quiz: Most men reach their sexual peak at age 18, while most women experience theirs in their thirties – True or False? The answer may surprise you..