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Orgasms: the climactic point of our sexual bouts, the light at the end of the tunnel, the eruption of pleasure that releases euphoric brain chemicals into our entire bodies.

While they do not necessarily have to be the goal every time we have sex, a life without them just doesn’t seem as fulfilling.

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Sex toys and pleasure products still remain a controversial topic. Some people are completely turned off and intimidated by the idea because they think using such technology is unnatural or somehow a criticism on their own skills in the bedroom.

Others are totally in favor of anything sex toy related. So much so, they don’t even see using a Magic Wand during sex as kinky.

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

Photo: Stocksy

My sex life with my husband almost exclusively revolves around nipple play. He and I both love giving and receiving nipple stimulation, and it’s our primary foreplay (usually a nipple-69).

In an effort to keep things new and fun, I’ve researched nipple toys but can’t seem to find any with consistently positive reviews. We’ve talked about clamps, suction toys, and even pumps, but we aren’t sure what is reliable, pain-free (we like teasing and pleasure, not pain), and useful for both women and men.

Do you have any advice for what toys or techniques could enhance our somewhat unconventional—but very satisfying!—routine?

Mallory, Age 40

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Hey, you. Yes, you—exhausted, resentful, sexless mom of three, I’m talking to you.

I know. There’s magenta Sharpie on the wall, a 3-inch layer of dog hair on the floor, and you just stepped on something slimy that you think was cheese (you’ll check it later). You haven’t had a haircut (other than when you took the scissors to your own hair) in eight months and your feet are so calloused, you could run the Kentucky Derby and no one would look twice. Every part of that is true.

But we need to talk about just one thing: the sexless part. Keep reading.

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