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Shame

shame blog sex with emilyHave you ever had ‘that feeling’ after masturbating? You know the one. That sense of dread, or that feeling of guilty shame. Have you ever climaxed, looked at what you were watching and felt truly disgusted with your nasty gutter brain.

Well, it turns out, those feelings come from a bunch of different places. It can be psychological, trauma-based, cultural, or generational.  But somehow, so often, shame surrounds masturbation.

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scared of sex blog sex with emily

Photo by Alexandra Gorn on Unsplash

Dear Emily,

So my issue is I am afraid of sex!
 
I was raised to believe that sex before marriage is a TERRIBLE sin, and I’m stuck with associating sex, in general, with feelings of shame and guilt. 
 
I don’t even want to think about marriage until I’m at least 25, which seems way too old to still be a virgin! I’m worried that when I actually get serious with a guy I won’t be able to get over these feelings of shame and fear. Please help!
 
Sincerely, 
Lucy

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Shame around sex runs rampant in this country despite the fact that we see sex everywhere we turn in popular culture. After all, sex sells. Yet, people get shamed for expressing their sexuality and it can get very personal. Sex and Intimacy Coach and author or the new book Living an Orgasmic Life Xanet Pailet shares her own personal experience about being shamed.

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