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Q: DEAR EMILY,

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I’m a 27-year-old female, and I’ve basically been single my entire adult life. I’ve had relationships, but nothing longer than a few months. I’ve wanted to be in a relationship for as long as I can remember, but I also try to put it out of my mind so I don’t obsess about it. I have met a few guys at work or on a dating app, but it seems that they just want to text every day and not actually meet up.

So I want to know: How can I meet a good guy? And if I am talking to a guy via text, how can I make a date happen?

—Lyndsey

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

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I’m a single mom and my daughter is 2 years old. I’ve told my friends that dating for me will be harder because I’m a mom, and my daughter is still very young. I’ve tried online dating apps, but the guys I’ve matched with fade off after a couple of days. What should I do? Do guys get intimidated when they meet single mothers?

I’ve lost hope in finding a relationship. Please help me, Emily!

Thanks—and love your podcast!

Nadine, 24, Texas

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

Stocksy

I have been with my boyfriend for about a year. He recently transferred law schools, so now we’re in a long-distance relationship. I’m so proud of him, but in a shocking twist, not as psyched about the distance. I really value physical touch in love-language-speak and, well, long-distance makes that a bit difficult.

At first, sexting and phone sex were new and exciting for the two of us, but it’s become harder to initiate with him back in school and living with roommates (yes, I know, another glorious shift). Do you have any recommendations for keeping things hot?

Any advice would be appreciated, and thanks again for all that you do!

Amy, 27, SC

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

pexels

Hi Emily!

I have an extremely healthy (and safe) sex life with my boyfriend—but here’s my issue. I have no idea how to talk dirty. Normally I’d say how great he feels inside of me, tell him to put his hands here or there, but I get stuck after this. I don’t want to sound like a porn star, but I do want him to be turned on from what I say.

What can I say besides this to turn him on that isn’t too intense?

Marci, 27

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

pexels

I’ve been dating my current boyfriend for just about a year now, and he’s amazing! We have great sex, but it’s not always the most exciting. He regularly asks me what I’m interested in, but I don’t know how to approach the topic. We recently took a sex questionnaire (where you compare answers at the end), and it really helped me to get some of my wants out on the table—which he’s been very responsive to—but I’d still like to try some more exciting things, like temperature play and being tied down.

How do I bring these up without (a) scaring the pants off him and (b) making him feel bad? Because I love our sex, I just think it could be more intense and sensual.

Amelia, 26, France

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

GUILLE FAINGOD

My boyfriend and I have always had great sex—and had it pretty frequently. But within the last year, with the crazy-busy schedules we have, we’re having a hard time getting on the same page. When we have sex it’s great, but we never seem to be wanting it at the same time.

Since then, my other problem has been something I’ve never had an issue with before: I’ve been getting dry. It doesn’t happen until my boyfriend puts a condom on. He never thought we needed lube, but it’s making sex uncomfortable and hard to enjoy.

What can I do?Thanks!

Cathy, 24, Missouri

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I happened to be in a local store and wandered over to where they keep condoms. I had no idea there are so many different kinds! Where does a beginner start? Are women responsible for buying condoms? What about latex allergies? And lastly, what should I keep in my nightstand? Do I have to buy various types and sizes since I’ll have no idea what my date may be into?

Help! I’m so lost.

—Karen

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

Dear Emily,

I’m very educated about sexual health and open-minded sexually, but I have a hard time accepting my boyfriend’s porn habit. We have a great sex life and try new things, but he still watches porn. I can’t help wondering…aren’t I enough?I’ve seen porn before, and I know most guys watch it, but I can’t help feeling a little insecure. Is he comparing me to these women? Is that how he wants me to act? It isn’t fair for me to ask him to stop, so how can I get used to it?Please help!

Janine, 27, Iowa

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

Hi Emily,

I have recently started seeing a new man. And I have a terrible gag reflex. Like it’s honestly terrible. I gag every single time he goes too deep, and I don’t really love the taste of semen. Between the depth and worrying about the taste, I get so tense. All I want to do is finish the job without looking like an idiot. Is it all in my head, or is there a way to fix this issue?

Emma, 22, Indiana

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

My husband (age 33) and I have been married for two years, together
for three and a half. In the beginning sex was fun, passionate and frequent. Now it seems like my libido is non existent, and I’m perfectly happy having sex once or twice a week (or less). His libido is as high as ever; he wants it once or twice per day, and doesn’t really like masturbating (though he will when he’s desperate).

When we don’t have sex as often as he wants, he gets frustrated and very cranky, so I feel obliged to participate as frequently as possible, but sometimes I’m just plain tired or feel lazy. Sometimes I’ll just have sex with him even if I don’t want to, hoping that I can get aroused once we get going. Half the time this works and I orgasm, and the rest of the time I go through the motions that usually work, and nothing happens. It’s like I can’t get my brain into it no matter what! We have toys, we try new things and we do some foreplay (though I’m sure could always use more). This is extremely frustrating for both of us.

I used to be super horny in my teens and 20s, and now I could hardly care less. How can I get my brain to want more sex?Am I just getting old? (Just FYI: I did go off the pill about a year and half ago, if you think that’s a factor.)

Help!

-Jill, 36

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