5 BDSM Games To Spice Up Your Sex Life Tonight

Photo by fotografierende from Pexels

Sex can be a lot of fun. It can also get a bit stale, especially for those of us in long term relationships.

Whether you’ve never tried BDSM before or are kinky 24/7, here are some fun BDSM games I give clients, that you can use tonight to spice up your sex life.

These require really minimal props, if any. Plus, most are things you probably already have laying around the house.

I guarantee you’ll never look at your spatula the same way again…

A quick note before we dive in. BDSM should always be practiced safely, it’s not fun otherwise. Brush up on some BDSM basics here and here. To get an idea of your partner’s kinky preferences, try this fun questionnaire together. You might not even make it through the list before the clothes start flying off. 

 

Best for newbies: ‘On A Roll’ 

This one is a lot of fun, can be tailored to your own kinky comfort level, and only requires a piece of paper, a pen, and a die to play. If you don’t have any dice, you can easily make one with an eraser and a pen, or even a little piece of wood.

First, sit down with your sex partner and write a list of 6 of your favorite body parts to touch. You might want to include genitals, thighs, nipples, buttocks, anything you like. Try including some of the lesser-known erogenous zones like the earlobes, the nape of the neck, really just anywhere you find arousing. Assign each body part a number from 1-6.

Next, write down a list of 6 sexual actions you find erotic. Some great options are spank, bite, lick, suck, twist, pinch, but use whatever floats your boat. Assign each action a number from 1-6.

Then, you take turns rolling the dice one at a time. The first roll determines action, the second roll determines where it takes place. For example, lick their nipple, bite my thighs, etc.

Sometimes they are pretty impossible tasks, like spank my earlobes. You can give it a go if you’re both game, or just skip it and roll again. You’ve been spared.

Each person takes turns rolling the die and acting out its instructions on their partners until you can no longer resist going to town on each other.

via GIPHY

Best for Impact Play: ‘Follow the Crop’

This is a really fun one for those who enjoy more physical games, impact play and/or discipline. For this game, all you need is one impact item, preferably a long(ish) one. If you have a crop, that’s perfect. If you don’t have one, do not fret, you’ve still got options.

Try: a spatula, a wooden spoon, a ruler (metal rulers are great but only if you’re experienced), a piece of wooden dowel, a fly swatter, or even the back of a hairbrush works in a pinch. But I think the longer the better for this game.

This game is simple and fun. Instruct your ‘submissive’ or ‘bottom’ partner to get on all fours, and they must follow the impact tool wherever it goes. You can ask them to try and keep their nose on it if you’d like to make it really challenging (or you just enjoy seeing them lose).

via GIPHY

Start by guiding your ‘bottom’ around the bed with the tool until they get the hang of it. Then move around the bedroom, and you can even head around the whole house if they are up for it. Set up an obstacle course for them if you’re feeling particularly deviant. If you want to be sweet, have them cushion their knees with some knee-high socks, leg warmers, or even just a top tied around each knee. Or be mean and let them get sore. If you both enjoy humiliation play, make it even more challenging for them by using lube. Using a high-quality silicone-based one like Uberlube, give them a genital massage to relax their mind and body. Then rub some on their knees and watch them slip and slide around while they try to follow your impact tool. 

If they can’t keep up with your impact tool, you get to strike them with it. Make sure to pepper in lots of rewards when they do keep up. Words of affirmation like “good girl/pet/boy” and sensual touches usually do the trick.

 

Best for Switches: ‘Who’s The Boss’

If you identify as a switch, or you’re not sure where you fall on the Dominant/submissive or Top/bottom spectrum, this game is for you. All you need for this one is a coin to toss, and something to use as a timer.

Flip the coin and call it. Whoever wins, goes first. The winner flips the coin, and if it lands on ‘heads’ you get to be the ‘Top’ and in charge. If it lands on ‘tails’ you get to be the ‘bottom’, and do whatever the ‘Top’ says, obviously.

via GIPHY

Set the timer for 2 minutes, and for those two minutes, the ‘Top’ gets to boss around the ‘bottom’ to their heart’s content. They are your love slave. This game works best if you know each other’s kinks, boundaries and turn ones, so doing this questionnaire beforehand is a great idea.

Keep flipping the coin and switching back and forth until you can’t take it anymore and have to ravish one another.

 

Best for D/s lovers: ‘You Move You Lose’

This is an excellent one for exploring the psychological side of Dominance/submission play. You don’t need any items for this one, but if you’d like to add in impact play, you can use any impact tools you’d like. Read ‘follow the crop’ above for homemade item suggestions, or just let your imagination run wild.

This game is deceptively simple, but simply deviant. The premise is just that if your ‘submissive’ or ‘bottom’ want to receive pleasure, they must stay still. The second they move, the ‘Dominant’ or ‘Top’ stops pleasuring them. If you’re exploring impact play, you can punish the bottom for moving. Otherwise, you can use verbal punishments, or simply the lack of pleasure as a punishment.

via GIPHY

If you like switching, then when the ‘bottom’ moves, they can switch roles and take a turn at being the ‘Top’ and giving pleasure. Switch back every time someone moves.

However, some partners don’t want to switch and prefer instead to stay in one fixed role. For these couples, when the ‘bottom’ moves, they can service the ‘Top’ until the ‘Top’ determines they have earned pleasure again.

This game is the definition of exquisite torture.

 

Best for Exploring Humiliation: Where’s The *Blank*?

This is another simple and delightful one. It’s particularly good for people who like a little humiliation, degradation, teasing, or even just playfulness. As with all of these games, you can tailor it to suit your specific comfort levels with kink.

All you need for this game is a blindfold and someone to play with. You can buy a nice blindfold, or simply use a necktie or silky scarf. To begin, blindfold the ‘submissive’ or ‘bottom’ partner while they are seated comfortably on the bed. You’ll remain off the bed, for now. You can play this game anywhere, but the bed is a fun place to start. Feel free to have your ‘bottom’ dress in a way that is aesthetically pleasing to you, perhaps in some sexy lingerie.  

You can use any body part for this game, but I think it’s the most fun to play with your genitals. Simply take out your genitals, and while standing by the edge of the bed, ask your blindfolded partner to find them. Start by saying, for example, “where’s my pussy?”. Once you’ve spoken, they can crawl around the bed looking for it. Make sure they crawl slowly to be safe, and remind them to reach for the corners with their hands. We don’t want this game to turn into a trip to the emergency room.

via GIPHY

Here’s the part that makes it tricky. Once the ‘bottom’ starts crawling for it, the ‘Top’ has to freeze. When the ‘bottom’ reaches the edge of the bed with their hands, they open their mouth and try to find your genitals. If they can’t find it from where they are, you say “nope” (or dumb/bad/silly submissive) and you can move, asking the question again.

If your ‘bottom’ really enjoys humiliation, the Top’ should lean into the verbal teasing and degradation. Ridicule them for not being able to find it, or for being so thirsty for it in the first place, whatever floats their boat.

Repeat the game until they find your genitals. Once they do, their reward is they get to pleasure you with their mouth. Lucky them.

 

Bonus Round: Hands-Free Fun

For a fun and travel-friendly game, you’ve got to indulge in the Moxie by WeVibe. It’s a discreet but powerful vibrator, that attaches into place in any pair of panties or briefs with a magnet. You can control it remotely via a phone app, even if you’re at the office, or on the other side of the world.

Have your partner wear it on your next date, and turn it on and off as you see fit. Tantalize and torment them, while to the outsider it would look like you’re just sending an email or checking the traffic. The look on their face as they are driven to the brink of climax in public will be worth it, trust me. To get your engine running, check out our latest piece of Sex with Emily erotica.

***

Stay safe, stay kinky, stay sexy!

 


Isabella Frappier is an Australian ex-pat living in LA, who swapped gumtrees for palm trees. She’s a writer and a holistic Sexuality Doula, who specializes in body literacy, sexual sovereignty, and BDSM.
She is also a host on the popular new Sex Magic Podcast. When she’s not busy championing her sex positive agenda, she—oh wait—she’s always busy doing that. Follow her adventures on Instagram.

 

Related Posts