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griffin-wynne

triggers blog sex with emilyTriggers. What are they and what do they mean?

Maybe your conservative dad writes them off as a snowflake defense mechanism. Or maybe your friends throw the term around when joking around. Either way, it can be hard to understand what a “trigger” really is. And being able to put a word to that moment when you get uncomfortable or overwhelmed can seem impossible. Especially as it’s happening. 

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romance blog sex with emilyIn the time before quarantine, a sleepy three-day weekend or ordering take out for a cozy night sounded like the best thing ever. Yet, now, after endless weeks of sheltering in place, it seems like quarantine can feel like a little too much time at home. When you haven’t worn anything but sweatpants in a month and your showers are getting fewer and farther between, you may be feeling like this pandemic is damping your romance.

Additionally, when you and your partner are both working at home, up in each other’s space ALL day every day, you may be more in the mood for some alone time than some sexy time. And of course, there is the fact that we’re living through a global pandemic, and no one knows when it’s going to be over. 

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feel beginners masturbation blog sex with emilyIf you were to write a book about all the things you didn’t learn in sex ed class, it would be three times as long (and three times as useful) as a book about what we did learn. It feels like we covered the medical names of all our parts and were fed some fear-mongering stats about pregnancy and STIs. For most, we somehow completely skipped over the fact that 1. You can orgasm. And 2. You can orgasm all by your damn self. 

Don’t be fooled, like driving a car or making a food that isn’t mac and cheese from the box, masturbation is something you have to learn. And even if you had the most liberal or extensive health classes in school, chances are there wasn’t a unit on making yourself finish. (And if there was please let me know what school you went to.) 

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trust blog sex with emilyThere’s a lot that goes into forming a healthy relationship. There’s compromise, establishing boundaries, and of course choosing a Thai take out place you both like. Underneath it all, however, is a foundation of trust.

Trust and honesty ensure that you and your partner can be on the same page through the good times, and the not so good ones. (Like when you’re fighting about Thai takeout places.) 

People talk about trust all the time. But what does it really mean? Let’s break down the building blocks of trust in a healthy relationship. 

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sexual trauma blog sex with emilyExperiencing and processing trauma is one of the hardest things we do as humans. Sexual trauma is an incredibly difficult thing to move past whether or not you’re in a relationship. Of course, having these conversations with sexual and romantic partners can be incredibly difficult.

Whether you’ve experienced it, or are dating someone who has, knowing how to navigate sexual trauma in relationships is an important way to make everyone feel safe and secure as you’re getting steamy. Continue Reading

money blog sex with emilyWhether you and your partner are in a similar income bracket or not, it isn’t easy to know how to talk about money. Money can be a sensitive topic, and feelings can get hurt. Even the strongest couples can find themselves fighting over savings accounts or frivolous spending.

While you may never look forward to having a money talk with your partner, there are ways to make the conversation a lot less painful. 

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resentment blog sex with emilyLike a Chia Pet you totally forgot about, resentment can grow without anyone really noticing. One day, over coffee and bagels, seemingly out of nowhere, you realize you can’t stand the way your partner chews. Not only that, you can’t stand how they never help with dishes. They take up so much space in your house and made you cancel plans to go to their work event. You love your partner and have no plans on calling it quits, and yet, you can’t help but notice that resentment is there in full force. 

Maybe you keep asking your partner to help around the house and you keep getting ignored. Maybe you can’t stop wondering if you would quit your job and move to another city to be with your boo. Even the best relationships have their bitter moments. 

Though inspirational memes and canvas tote bags worn by women at the farmers market may tell us to “Speak Our Truths”, the truth is, being honest with the people you love can be really frickin’ difficult. And when you’ve been dealing with the same problem over, you just noticed that you’re feeling kind of off about something, or you’re so far deep into a relationship conflict you’ve given up hope — it can feel impossible to know how to come clean about your feelings and move forward together. 

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phubbing blog sex with emilyAfter The Longest Day Ever, you’re excited to finally have a glass of wine on the couch and vent to your boo about your mom, your boss, your landlord, and the woman on the subway eating a tuna fish sandwich at 8:00 in the morning. No matter the problem, your partner always gives the best advice. As you wait for  their usual pearls of wisdom, you realize it’s been a while since they’ve said anything, let alone anything extra insightful.  You turn to look them in the eyes, and realize they’re in their cell phone. They’re leaving you, and your feelings completely tuned out. 

There are few worse feelings than talking to someone you love, and realizing they’re ignoring you. One of these worse feelings is realizing it’s for a game of Candy Crush. Whether your boo is sucked into Instagram or addicted to texting, feeling ignored is an awful feeling. If your partner is so glued to their cell that they’re starting to ignore you every time you spend time together IRL, they may be full-on phubbing (snubbing you with their phone) you.  And it might be kind of (read: completely) affecting your sex life. 

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home blog sex with emilyGoing back to your date’s place means more than getting lucky. It means getting a deeper look into all the little things that make them who they are. From decorations to temperature to available food (or lack thereof), seeing someone’s home for the first time can provide you with all sorts of hidden information about them. 

Some people are on the shyer side or they don’t tend to talk about their hobbies/passions. Seeing their home may give you a wealth of things to talk about.

When first dating someone, you want to absorb all the information you can. Here are different things you can infer about someone after seeing their house for the first time: 

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