Ask Emily: How to Be Better in Bed

article-2291280-188E2ECB000005DC-807_634x800“Dear Emily,

I recently started dating a guy (a great guy, actually!) and things are going really well. There’s only one problem… I’m afraid to have sex with him! We’ve been seeing each other for almost two months now and we still haven’t done the deed. It’s not that I’m not attracted to him or that I’m afraid he won’t respect me. The real reason is that I am pretty sure I’m bad in bed.

I’ve only been with two guys, and neither seemed to be that into the sex. One of them looked downright bored! I like this new guy a lot and would really like to wow him in the sack, but now I’m extremely self-conscious. What if we have sex and it’s terrible and he doesn’t want to date me anymore? I need help! How do I know if I’m terrible at sex? And more importantly, how can I fix it?

Sincerely,
BIB, 24

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Ask Emily: How to Have Multiple O’s

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“Dear Emily,

I’m not with a partner at the moment but I masturbate regularly. I know how to make myself have an orgasm and after I do, I feel satisfied, but I want to go again. Trouble is, I have to take a break for about ten minutes because otherwise it will take me a very long time to orgasm again and I usually give up before then. I’ve always wanted to be able to have multiple orgasms (within a minute or two of each other) but I’ve never been able to. My question is, is there any way to train yourself to have multiple orgasms?”

Love,

Anna

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Ask Emily: How to Take Charge in the Bedroom

bed-couple-love-sex-sexy-Favim.com-188678_large-79Q:
Hi Emily,

I have a question regarding sex with my fiancé. We really only have sex on the weekends, maybe once or twice on Saturday or on Sunday morning. He works long hours and is often very tired after work, and he has stated on multiple occasions that he doesn’t feel like having sex when he is tired. Personally, I would love to be getting busy more often, but I always end up feeling like he’s just not into it.

Recently I brought up these feelings to him and he admitted that he is often too tired to initiate sex, but he wouldn’t turn me down if I got things started. He has always been the initiator in our relationship, so I know it’s my turn to make the first move, but I’m having trouble getting things started. How can I get better at initiating sex?

Thanks,
Sarah


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Ask Emily: Your Lubrication Education

Screen Shot 2015-11-12 at 11.59.12 AMHi Emily,

I have a concern about something that has been happening when my boyfriend and I have sex. When we are having a longer sex session (past 30 minutes) I’ve noticed that I tend to dry out, even though I was extremely wet a few minutes before. And what’s worse, it becomes extremely uncomfortable. Is it possible that I could run out of my own juices? I mean, I’m only 22! This has really been affecting my sex life, because I take a longer time to orgasm during intercourse, and my boyfriend usually takes a while also. Is this normal? What should I do?

 

Thanks,

Kate

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Ask Emily: Am I Addicted to My Vibrator

23ee19a9b887f4ee7af229e2977f6619Q: Dear Emily,

Thanks to you, I am now a woman with several sex toys. I have recently fallen in love with my Magic Wand vibrator, and it has totally changed things for me in that I can now not only orgasm, but have multiple orgasms! But now I’m wondering.. Is it bad that I only ever want to use my vibrator to masturbate? The things is, I’ve heard rumors about vibrators actually desensitizing the clitoris, and now I’m worried that I’m ruining my vagina! Is this true? Whenever I go back to using my hands, it takes SO long to get there and I’m not even sure if I’m climaxing. Has it already started? Am I addicted to my vibrator? Help!

Sincerely,
Vibrator Obsessed, 22

 

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Ask Emily: When to Call It Quits

breakup:makeup

“Dear Emily,

I’ve been in and “on and off” relationship for three years now that is currently on its way to being “off” again. I feel we’re just stuck in a cycle of break ups and make ups, and I don’t think that it’s doing either of us any good. I love him, but I don’t know if it’s a good idea to How many times do you try to make a relationship work before calling it quits?

Thank you,

Jane”

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Ask Emily: Sick of Quickies

0ab38cb90c6c2432daa4b06dc01c22ddDear Emily,

Lately I have found myself not that interested in sex, and I think I know why. My long-time boyfriend and I have very busy schedules, and we don’t have as much time as we used to in the bedroom. As a result, all of our sex sessions end up being what you might call “quickies”. He is totally happy to get in, get out and move on to the next thing, but these interactions just aren’t satisfying for me. So now when he brings up the idea of sex, I make excuses or try to get out of it.

I’ve tried explaining my feelings to him, but he just doesn’t get it. He thinks that I’m not interested in him sexually, but that’s not the case – I just feel like I need more! Am I being totally unreasonable? What can we do to make sex enjoyable again, for both of us?

Sincerely,

Sick of Quickies

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Ask Emily: Why Does My Partner Want to Watch Me Masturbate?

ca9f60169a0c2d416b7c9c433f8f89feQ: Dear Emily,
My boyfriend and I have a great sex life, but there is one issue that keeps popping up. He recently asked me to pleasure myself in front of him, and it’s not the first time he has made this request. I masturbate from time to time, but never in front of another person! I feel like masturbation is such a private activity and trying to do it in front of him feels awkward and forced. The last time he asked, I got angry and told him to do it himself and see how it feels, but my plan backfired because he totally loved it. Why is this such a big turn on for him? And how can I masturbate for my BF without feeling so uncomfortable?

Sincerely,
Self-Love Self Conscious

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Ask Emily: How Can I Rock At “Woman On Top”

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Q: Dear Emily,

I like to consider myself a fairly sexually educated girl, but I have NO idea what to do when it comes to being on top during sex. The few times I have tried it, I felt so awkward that it ended up killing the mood. Now I’m worried that my inexperience will be obvious to my next partner.. Are there any tips you can give me to help me get better at girl-on-top?

 

Thanks,

Angie

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Ask Emily: Alternatives to Jackhammer Sex

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Q:
“Dear Emily,

In many of your Podcasts, I’ve heard you talk about  “Jackhammer Sex”, and how men should stop doing it immediately. After hearing it for the third or fourth time, I realized something. My partner is guilty of the Jackhammer, too! I thought it was totally normal to have sex this way, and didn’t really mind it, but now I’m wondering..  If not the jackhammer, then what? What are some alternatives to Jackhammer sex?

Thanks,
Jackhammered”

 

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