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Q: “Dear Emily,

In many of your Podcasts, I’ve heard you talk about  “Jackhammer Sex”, and how men should stop doing it immediately. After hearing it for the third or fourth time, I realized something. My partner is guilty of the Jackhammer, too! I thought it was totally normal to have sex this way, and didn’t really mind it, but now I’m wondering..  If not the jackhammer, then what? What are some alternatives to Jackhammer sex?

Thanks,
Jackhammered”

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

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First off, I love the show – thank you for everything you do! I’ll jump right to it – my husband has been struggling with erectile dysfunction for a few years now and it’s taking a toll on both of us. I want to stress that he hasn’t been ignoring it – he’s had prescriptions for both Viagra and Cialis, and they usually do the trick. However, the results have been less reliable lately.

The bigger issue, though, is that I think the situation is getting him depressed.

He’s 56 and until this started, we had a very active sex life. I’ve been listening to you for a while, and I know that communication is a lubrication – so we talk about it often, but that’s led to some tense situations and now we’re both feeling the weight of this condition.

I want to come up with a way to help him, or at least let him know that he’s not letting me down, even though that’s what he winds up thinking every time I bring it up. Help me do what’s right here, Emily!

Sincerely,

Cyndy, 54, NM

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

Stocksy

I have been with my boyfriend for about a year. He recently transferred law schools, so now we’re in a long-distance relationship. I’m so proud of him, but in a shocking twist, not as psyched about the distance. I really value physical touch in love-language-speak and, well, long-distance makes that a bit difficult.

At first, sexting and phone sex were new and exciting for the two of us, but it’s become harder to initiate with him back in school and living with roommates (yes, I know, another glorious shift). Do you have any recommendations for keeping things hot?

Any advice would be appreciated, and thanks again for all that you do!

Amy, 27, SC

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Q: Dear Emily,

I’m recently divorced and began listening to your show to elevate my game before reentering the dating pool. Thank you for delivering great information in such an entertaining way! I am now in a relationship with a lovely woman ten years my junior (I’m 56) and have been having some issues “down there.”

I wasn’t concerned at first, but now it seems I lose my erection more than I can keep it. I’ve never had trouble staying hard before, and while I recognize I’m not a 25-year-old anymore, I’m starting to worry. Where should I look for a solution? Are pills the best answer?

Thanks for your help here and for all you do,

Jay, 56, OR

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

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I’m a 27-year-old female, and I’ve basically been single my entire adult life. I’ve had relationships, but nothing longer than a few months. I’ve wanted to be in a relationship for as long as I can remember, but I also try to put it out of my mind so I don’t obsess about it. I have met a few guys at work or on a dating app, but it seems that they just want to text every day and not actually meet up.

So I want to know: How can I meet a good guy? And if I am talking to a guy via text, how can I make a date happen?

—Lyndsey

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

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I’m a single mom and my daughter is 2 years old. I’ve told my friends that dating for me will be harder because I’m a mom, and my daughter is still very young. I’ve tried online dating apps, but the guys I’ve matched with fade off after a couple of days. What should I do? Do guys get intimidated when they meet single mothers?

I’ve lost hope in finding a relationship. Please help me, Emily!

Thanks—and love your podcast!

Nadine, 24, Texas

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

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Hi Emily!

I have an extremely healthy (and safe) sex life with my boyfriend—but here’s my issue. I have no idea how to talk dirty. Normally I’d say how great he feels inside of me, tell him to put his hands here or there, but I get stuck after this. I don’t want to sound like a porn star, but I do want him to be turned on from what I say.

What can I say besides this to turn him on that isn’t too intense?

Marci, 27

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

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I’ve been dating my current boyfriend for just about a year now, and he’s amazing! We have great sex, but it’s not always the most exciting. He regularly asks me what I’m interested in, but I don’t know how to approach the topic. We recently took a sex questionnaire (where you compare answers at the end), and it really helped me to get some of my wants out on the table—which he’s been very responsive to—but I’d still like to try some more exciting things, like temperature play and being tied down.

How do I bring these up without (a) scaring the pants off him and (b) making him feel bad? Because I love our sex, I just think it could be more intense and sensual.

Amelia, 26, France

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

GUILLE FAINGOD

My boyfriend and I have always had great sex—and had it pretty frequently. But within the last year, with the crazy-busy schedules we have, we’re having a hard time getting on the same page. When we have sex it’s great, but we never seem to be wanting it at the same time.

Since then, my other problem has been something I’ve never had an issue with before: I’ve been getting dry. It doesn’t happen until my boyfriend puts a condom on. He never thought we needed lube, but it’s making sex uncomfortable and hard to enjoy.

What can I do?Thanks!

Cathy, 24, Missouri

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