In the romantic comedy Friends with Benefits, Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake make the proverbial “Friends with Benefits” (FWB) relationship look easy. What’s not to like about having no-strings-attached sex with someone who you respect, trust, and who makes you feel safe? And they have the added bonus of their “casual sex” arrangement resulting in true love. Well, I’m here to offer you an anecdote from my life, which happens not to mesh with the Hollywood version of FWB. After losing a friend and confidante to casual sex, I have gained insight on what NOT to do when navigating a “friends with benefits” relationship.
Q: DEAR EMILY,
My boyfriend and I broke up about six months ago, but we’re still living together (we don’t want the expense of breaking our lease, and where we live is very seasonal so it’s hard to find new tenants). He ended things because he was going through some personal stuff and wanted to work on himself. The problem is that we never stopped having sex.
Things started up again casually, where it was just hot and random, but I’ve noticed that lately he has started to bring some feelings back into it and I am finding that I too still have feelings for him. He is very intimate, cupping my face, telling me that he loves me. Then going out with friends and acting single. He’s very back and forth about it. I’m totally confused.
I don’t know if this is normal, or maybe he still wants to be with me? Is it possible to have a “friend with benefits” with an ex?
New Jersey Continue Reading
On today’s show Emily is joined by sex educators and toy aficionados April Lampert and Amy Baldwin to talk all things sex. Together, the ladies cover a range of topics, from sexual awakenings to oral sex abroad to the curious rise in anal licking. The three trade hot stories, insights and candid experiences to shed some light on the lives of sexperts. Amy and April also assist in answering your emails: Should you disclose past infidelities to a new date? And when it comes to condoms and casual sex, is there any room for negotiation?
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About 5 years ago, I had a casual sex relationship with a man and it was the best sex I’ve ever had. We went on a few dates, but there was no intellectual connection. Fast forward to now: I broke up with my boyfriend about a month and a half ago and recently texted my old booty-call asking if he is single. Now, I know we don’t have a connection, we will never have a relationship and we’ve both said we’re over the casual sex thing. However, I haven’t been physically satisfied for over five years with anyone except for him.
So my question is: what are the rules here? Will I be using him if I just want sex? I know he probably wouldn’t have a problem with it, but if we are both trying to find something “real”, is this all a waste of time?
Mixed Up in the Midwest Continue Reading
This show is dedicated to getting your sex life on the right track, whether that means scheduling your erotic rendezvous, sticking to your bedroom boundaries or expanding your expertise into “other” sorts of oral pleasure. Continue Reading
Today’s show is dedicated to tackling your sex and dating questions. Emily is doling out advice on a wide range of hot topics including guidelines for fostering friends with benefits, curiosity about extramarital sex, interruptions during intercourse and so much more! Continue Reading
September at Sex With Emily is all about getting back to sex basics, and on today’s show, Emily is giving a lesson on the most essential principle of sex, love and dating: communication! Just like she always says, communication is a lubrication, so let’s grease up our word-wheels and get our conversation cogs turning! Continue Reading