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Attraction; the initial force that drives sex, love, and lust. Rarely does it stick around… without effort that is. On today’s show, Emily is joined by sex and intimacy speaker and coach John Wineland to help you keep the attraction alive in your sex life!

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Q: Dear Emily,

I have been having sex with my girlfriend for eight months now, and was a virgin before her. Although she’s a lot more experienced than me sexually, she has never been in a same-sex relationship before, and we are figuring everything out together. The sex that we have is amazing, but up until now we’ve gone solo equipment-wise. We’re now looking to bring some toys into the bedroom, and I’m looking for ideas.

You talk about different toys that you enjoy on your show, but it’s mostly in reference to masturbation. Do you have any recommendations for a lesbian couple? We both really enjoy external stimulation, but are open to anything! Love the show and thanks for the help!

Elizabeth, 23

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First thing’s first, lesbian sex is sex, is sex, is sex— nuanced for each person, relationship, and occasion. Lesbian sex can entail mutual masturbation or oral sex. It can be a festive polyamorous party or an old married couple doing their best to keep the flames of desire aglow after the kids go off to college.  Every woman and trans-woman, regardless if she identifies as boi, butch, alpha, bi, unicorn, diesel, lipstick, queer, or another “type,” carries with her the same complex sexuality and sensuality all females share. Since the dawn of human sexuality studies, one fact about a woman’s desire remains constant… it’s always changing.

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