Q: DEAR EMILY,
I have been with my boyfriend for about a year. He recently transferred law schools, so now we’re in a long-distance relationship. I’m so proud of him, but in a shocking twist, not as psyched about the distance. I really value physical touch in love-language-speak and, well, long-distance makes that a bit difficult.
At first, sexting and phone sex were new and exciting for the two of us, but it’s become harder to initiate with him back in school and living with roommates (yes, I know, another glorious shift). Do you have any recommendations for keeping things hot?
Any advice would be appreciated, and thanks again for all that you do!
Amy, 27, SC
Hey, you. Yes, you—exhausted, resentful, sexless mom of three, I’m talking to you.
I know. There’s magenta Sharpie on the wall, a 3-inch layer of dog hair on the floor, and you just stepped on something slimy that you think was cheese (you’ll check it later). You haven’t had a haircut (other than when you took the scissors to your own hair) in eight months and your feet are so calloused, you could run the Kentucky Derby and no one would look twice. Every part of that is true.
But we need to talk about just one thing: the sexless part. Keep reading.
We, as adults, are all about long-term investments. We invest in a relationship that we believe will go the distance. We invest in our 401k, we invest in our dream homes and our dream cars. And yet, we never think to invest in one of the most vital aspects of our relationship – our dream sex life. We focus so intently on the other pieces of the puzzle, and let sex just fade into the background without even realizing how important it really is. Continue Reading
Now that we’ve officially hit the holiday home-stretch, you’re probably feeling the full weight of the season on your shoulders. No matter how proactive we were with our planning and shopping this year, there will always be those last-minute gifts to grab, final traveling arrangements to make, and a whole lot of holiday cheer to cram into the next few days. Just thinking about it makes me want to take a nice long nap!
To think, back when we were kids our biggest complaint was that we HAD to go to bed on exciting holiday nights. Nowadays, many of us would trade every present under the tree (if you’re into that sort of thing) for a good night’s sleep… Not to mention a good night of, well, you know. Continue Reading
I currently live with my boyfriend of five years, whom I love so much. Recently, we completely stopped having sex for almost a year because we were so busy starting our careers. We realized this was a big problem and have been working on ways to improve it, mostly by planning out times to have sex. It’s going well, we’re having sex more often, but now it feels like there’s no spontaneity left. What are some ways we can fix this and bring the excitement back?
Let me preface this by saying, good for you, J! It’s great that you and your partner were able to recognize the problem in the bedroom and are now working to make sex a priority. It might not feel like the stuff of romance novels—“Today’s To-Do List: Exercise, cook dinner, fold laundry, have sex”—but the good news is, you’re on the right track! Continue Reading
This show is dedicated to getting your sex life on the right track, whether that means scheduling your erotic rendezvous, sticking to your bedroom boundaries or expanding your expertise into “other” sorts of oral pleasure. Continue Reading
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In today’s show, Emily’s dishing out advice to help you have the best sex and relationships, based on the questions you sent to Feedback@SexWithEmily.com. Topics include how to last longer in bed, how to make scheduled sex fun, and how to get back into the dating scene after being hurt.
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