Your Masturbation Horoscope

Stuck in a masturbation rut? Ever wondered if it could be due to your Zodiac sign? Most of us have heard a thing or two about horoscopes. We’ve laughed about Scorpios being dramatic, Libras being indecisive, and Geminis being, well, let’s just be nice and say erratic!

Whether you ascribe any significant weight in your life to Zodiac signs or not – they sure are fun to read. Plus, you can decide if you relate to them or not.

If you’ve ever found that to be an enjoyable pastime, welcome to the most fun type yet – your masturbation horoscope!

ARIES

The optimistic and dynamic Ram is an active and generous lover. They are direct, honest, (though this isn’t always terribly graceful), and tend to be quite adventurous in bed. They don’t fear risks, and like to be spontaneous and unrestricted. There’s little an Aries likes more than getting what they want. An Aries is all about their own head and love to be mentally stimulated.

When it comes to masturbation, an Aries is usually pretty direct and straightforward. They know how to make themselves orgasm, and there is little beating around the bush. When the mood strikes an Aries, it strikes! There is no time to wait around – they want their orgasm and they want it now. Likely to have a pretty routine system for self pleasure, they often don’t have time for any self foreplay or warm ups.

Try mixing things up by closing your eyes and thinking about some fun adventurous hijinks you could get up to with your crush. They usually enjoy a power dynamic too, so why not try throwing a pinch of some Dominant/submissive power play into that mental imagery?

TAURUS

The strong, sensual, practical, and pleasure seeking Taurus loves nurturing and caring for others. This earth sign, ruled by Venus, seeks harmony, happiness, stability, and security. They are the type to plan a beautiful sensual evening for their lover from beginning to end, and execute it perfectly. They thoroughly enjoy their own company, and are usually homebodies, so masturbation is a natural pleasure. 

Unlike the intellectually focused Aries, the Taurean is all about their body and their senses, and is one of the signs likely to enjoy setting the mood a little for themselves – if they can prioritize it. Even if it’s not flowers and candles, the Bull likes to languish in the sensation of their hands over their whole body, not just their genitals. So if you’re a Bull in a rut, take some time to really indulge in your sensory pleasures.

GEMINI

The flighty Gemini is easily bored and impulsive. They take great joy in learning and communication, change topics easily, and are endlessly charming, curious, and enthusiastic. They are versatile, energetic, and are filled with duality. Plus, this sweet talker is as quick to change their own mind, as they are to convince you to change yours.

Geminis are stimulated by everything oral, including conversation. A heated debate is often just foreplay to a Gemini. How does this all play out in their solo pleasure life? Geminis are not usually fond of practicing self care. Since they love intellectual stimulation and conversation, including dirty talk, it can be hard for The Twin sign to prioritize self love.

If you’re a Gemini looking to put a little spark back into your masturbation routine, don’t be afraid to talk dirty to yourself! There is nothing wrong with narrating what you’re imagining. In fact, it can be really hot! Try incorporating your love of role-play, and describe all the things you’re doing in your fantasy.

CANCER

The deeply emotional, moon-ruled Cancer sign is very nurturing, empathetic, and helpful. However, they can often be moody, reserved, and even secretive. They love to analyze their feelings, and are often in their heads instead of their bodies. Not to mention, these Crabs can find it hard to open up to others and come out of their shells, having sexual fantasies that they will never admit. Cancers love to be prioritized, the center of their partner’s universe, and thrive off of genuine compliments, and emotional and romantic reassurance.

Cancers can be prone to prioritizing their partner over themselves – letting their needs slide in favor of their partners. So, the battle will be giving enough energy and attention to their own masturbation routine. Cancers, don’t be afraid of making yourself your number one every once in a while!

LEO

Lovely, lively Leo. You can be forgiven for thinking the world revolves around you, for you are indeed ruled by the sun. Fiery Leo loves to be the center of attention, and most feel comfortable in a crowd. They are engaging conversationalists, very playful, with a touch of arrogance. They are wonderful sexual teachers and they tend to be generous in all areas, including the bedroom.

Leos love themselves as much as they adore their loved ones (sometimes even more), so finding time to masturbate isn’t usually a challenge for the Lions. Leos love to feel sexy, so dressing up in some particularly delightful lingerie can be a sensual treat for your solo time. Make yourself feel like royalty – you deserve it! Since most Leo lions love being in the spotlight, try mixing up your masturbation routine by watching yourself in the mirror! This is a fun exercise for all signs, but the Leo will get a particular kick out of this one.

VIRGO

The dependable and sincere Virgo – ruled by Mercury – is hard working and health conscious. They take comfort in order, are often perfectionists, they love organization, and yet are quite indecisive. Another navel gazing sign, Virgos love to spend a lot of time in their heads, thinking and analyzing everything.

They are very practical people, and often have the same attitude towards sex – enjoying the release it provides from the stresses of life. They are giving lovers who like to please their partners, and will focus on anything their partner seems to enjoy.

Virgos are often a little self-conscious of their bodies and love the focus being on their partner, so it’s wonderful for them to prioritize self love and make sure they are nurturing themselves just as much. To spice up a Virgos masturbation routine, try visualizing a fantasy where all of the focus is on you for once!

LIBRA

Libra is another Venus-ruled sign, and loves all that is beautiful, balanced, and harmonious. They are charming and intelligent, thriving on peace in relationships. Libras love people, but hate crowds, and are natural mediators. They are often restless, but don’t like rushing and haste, but are also indecisive. Those fluctuating scales as the Libran tries to achieve balance can be quite confusing to their lovers.

Their love of fairness and equality doesn’t stay out of the bedroom, and while they are very generous lovers, they will expect you to give back as good as you get.

Luckily Librans love themselves and are usually more than happy to indulge their own desires. When masturbating, the Libran would be wise to focus on indulging their own fantasies, setting the mood just how they like it. Since very few can satisfy the Librans deep need for romance and perfection quite like they can for themselves.

SCORPIO

There are few quite like a true Scorpio, and they are not easy to forget. These Pluto-ruled water signs are extremely passionate, emotional, and empathic, while also being strong and powerful. The Scorpio is not a person to be trifled with or deceived, for they are intuitive and have a knack for discovering secrets. They’re slow to open up about themselves, but love learning about others. Often, they have many lovers, simply for the joy of getting to know someone new.

They are careful planners that can lean towards being controlling, with intense and often complex sexual desires. A Scorpio rarely shies away from the darker side of the erotic, and often has deliciously taboo fantasies.

It can be hard for other Zodiac signs to keep up the the Scorpio’s sexual appetite, making it wise for the Scorpion to take care of their own needs. Since they are so easily bored, masturbation can feel at times like it lacks the necessary dramatic energy. Incorporate some luscious scented oils, drip some candle wax on yourself – maybe even bind your feet together. After all, the more we know about ourselves, the easier it is to communicate our wants and needs to others.  

SAGITTARIUS

The Sagittarius is a cheerful free spirit who loves travel, adventure, and creative pursuits. They are both optimistic and philosophical, and love to search for truth and meaning. This fire sign, ruled by Jupiter, tends to be very sexually open minded, flexible, and adaptable (though their honesty can be a bit blunt at times, especially in the throws of passion). They are restless and energetic, and their playful energy usually makes them a really fun lover. They love to laugh and roughhouse for their foreplay, and when it comes to the act they are pretty direct about their wants and needs. Though, they do enjoy a little mystery, too.

Their masturbation routine will probably be quite varied and impulsive – seeking whatever suits them, whenever. They tend to have little patience with elaborate or time consuming lovemaking, so the best way to add variety to their masturbation is to pick some specific goals to work towards. Set a specific number of solo orgasms to have during the week, or work to perfect some mindful masturbation techniques. Masturbation can be a skill or a sport to the Archer, and they definitely like to win!

CAPRICORN

Capricorns are ambitious, purposeful, proud, and intellectual. This earth sign ruled by Saturn is very realistic and stable, and are considered and calculated. With their good sexual planning skills, lovemaking is often thought out in advance. They can easily get caught up in their heads, having a hard time verbalizing their thoughts and needs – which can be tricky in the bedroom. They usually like a straightforward approach to sex and enjoy their partners being skilled, experienced lovers.

Capricorns value consistency and security over variety and spontaneity in their sexual relationships as well as their masturbation routine. Getting out of their comfort zone every once in a while would be very healthy for this Goat sign. Some great things for a Capricorn to try when masturbating are being vocal, as well as getting outside of the box and exploring some of their kinkier desires. Why not try both at the same time? The ambitious Capricorn can handle it.

AQUARIUS

This air sign is one of the most humanitarian. Aquarians want to make the world a better place and are happy to start one bedroom at a time. They are steady, strong, and very passionate – even though they can seem aloof at times. Their cool, calm demeanor may either make their partners desire them more, or confuse them into thinking this Aquarius isn’t even interested in them at all!

Detachment is very sexy to the Aquarius. Sometimes the idea of having sex is so much more exciting than actually having it, so masturbation usually flows pretty naturally. To amplify this, any sort of sexting can be really appealing to an Aquarian, so try to incorporate some literary elements to your masturbation routine – like some sexy erotica.

PICSES

One of the most adaptable signs in the Zodiac, this water sign ruled by Neptune is highly sensitive, compassionate, receptive, and spiritual. They value beauty and have strong imaginations, but can be slippery and hard to pin down. They can be a chameleon at times – changing to suit their environment or their lovers – and while they deeply value subtle flirting and romance, they are most stimulated by variety and change. Only when they initiate it, however. Their desires and fantasies vary from moment to moment, they can be hard to keep up with!

Pisces is the sign most likely to use their imagination for their masturbation fodder, and their richly creative, unusual fantasies are filled with intricate specific details. For something a little different, why not try out some mutual masturbation with a partner? Take turns describing one of these fantasies out loud, and let them enjoy a glimpse at the erotic playground of your imagination. If you don’t have a partner, try writing out one of these fantasies out pleasure yourself as you read it.

***

Whether astrology truly affects us and our masturbation styles, it’s always a good idea to mix up your routine every once in a while. For those of you with a partner, try reading their masturbation horoscope! It may give you some fun ideas for play together!

 

 

Isabella Frappier is an Australian writer, holistic life coach, tarot reader, birth doula, and apothecarist who is currently based in LA. When she’s not busy championing her sex positive agenda she… oh wait – she’s always busy doing that. You can connect with her at www.isabellafrappier.com
Related Posts