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unconventional couples blog sex with emilyLove comes in many ways, shapes, and forms. In traditional terms, a “couple” usually means a relationship between two people of the opposite sex. But we have a come a long way from that limitation. Gender norms have changed, and new and different lifestyles have become more popular and accepted in the mainstream.

To celebrate National Couples Day, and Alternative August, let’s break down the different types of alternative coupling/relationship styles. 

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text dom blog sex with emilyFor all the BDSM lovers out there, this ongoing quarantine may have put a wrench in your dynamic. On top of ordering face masks and keeping our hands clean, you might not have the ability to meet up as frequently as you’d like. Luckily, you don’t have to be in the same room to keep up with your Dom/sub lifestyle. You can keep your power dynamic at the tip of your fingers, through text.

Texting can be a great way to Dom someone. For one thing, your commands are right there in black and white – less room for misinterpretation.

Here are some ways you can Dom someone via text. As always, consent is key for any and all BDSM activity, including communicating via text.

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humiliation blog sex with emilyWhen we think about great sex, a positive and pleasure-packed experience is what often comes to mind. However, for some out there, it’s something a little darker that does the trick! All thanks to two little words: humiliation and degradation.

You’ve probably heard it and seen it. Perhaps it was while watching porn. Perhaps it was while watching a blockbuster film of a certain shade of gray. But erotic humiliation is yet another powerful way to spice up your sex play.

From exploring power dynamics to testing emotional boundaries, it’s something that – albeit may sometimes feel extreme – can open up a whole new world of intimate possibilities with the right partner.

Interested? Thought so. Let’s do a deeper dive:

 

FIRST OFF, THE BASICS

In a nutshell, erotic humiliation/degradation refers to getting aroused from the cocktail of emotions that come with being teased, demeaned and degraded. Humiliation includes belittlement, commands, sexual stimulation, etc. Degradation includes insults, name calling,  – the works.

On the mild side of the spectrum, it looks like someone calling you a “stupid little baby”. On the extreme side it looks like getting hogtied and orgasm-tortured while everyone at the sex party points and laughs. These acts under normal circumstances are the sorts of things that usually make people feel uncomfortable or shamed, but erotic humiliation completely flips the switch on those core emotions, plus so much more. 

 

Although erotic humiliation is popular within the BDSM scene, it’s also worth clarifying the two have a few stark differences. Unlike some kinky interests, erotic humiliation is not about the humiliation-causing acts themselves, rather the emotions they elicit. Humiliation is a form of submission, but not all submission has to entail humiliation/degradation tactics.

 

WHERE’S THE PLEASURE?

One person’s pain can be another person’s pleasure. Sexiness is subjective. It’s hard to pinpoint from where the appeal 100% stems. Sure, it’s easy to associate humiliation with that one embarrassing day in sixth grade gym class. But for many it can be a supremely, surprisingly freeing and healing experience. 

A huge element of sexual exploration is getting to dip your toes into things that are sometimes considered taboo. In the world of kink and fetish, there are endless types of power dynamic. Whether it’s a Dom/sub, DDlg, or furry play, carrying out something that safely and consensually pushes the boundaries of human experience can feel liberating without a doubt. This is especially true when doing it with a trusted partner that’s on the same page as you. 

 

MAKE IT YOUR OWN

What sets this one apart from some other fetishes is the fact that it’s subjective AND doesn’t even have to be inherently sexual. Since the name of the sensuous game is feeling humiliation, everything from the dialogue and physicality, to level of overt sexuality depends on those involved.

Some people find receiving it hot, others enjoy dishing it out, and sometimes it’s a mix of both. The humiliation can happen in public at a sex party, or in the privacy of your own sex dungeon. Despite the fetish looking different from situation to situation, the one non-negotiable is both partners truly knowing each other – and what words, tones and actions will actually drive it all home. 

 

SAFETY FIRST! (& HOW TO DO IT)

In addition to being on the same page with your partner, the other golden rule of erotic humiliation is that consent, as always, is absolutely everything.

Ahead of jumping into the hot and heavy action, having a candid conversation about what you how you want to engage in humiliation and degradation is the hands-down best way to kick things off. When playing with your emotions erotically, the experience can go in many different directions. It’s good to discuss and establish mutually agreed-upon boundaries, as well as have a safe word in your back pocket just in case. 

After it all goes down, you additionally want to allow some time for aftercare and not be afraid to talk about the experience in general. Not only will reflecting upon the experience help you figure out how you felt about it, but a joint debrief can definitely reveal what worked as well as what didn’t for improving upon moving forward. 

 

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When it comes to any fetish, you ultimately just have to do you. But knowing they are an insanely interesting way to explore some of the most basic building blocks to any healthy relationship…well, it just keeps things all the more interesting, right?

 

 


Alex Anderson is an LA-based lifestyle designer proactively raging against the cultural grain. By day she works in television production, and by night enjoys writing, sewing and seeking guidance from the stars. She also finally has an all black kitty named “Cher.” You can follow her alt-lifestyle blog MSFT Living and on Instagram!

tickle blog sex with emilyRemember those wholesome tickle fights you had at sleepovers? It all might sound like wholesome fun to some of us, but to others…it’s sexy as hell.

It’s well known that us horndogs can make ANYTHING into a fetish: feet, bees, falling down the stairs. You name it, and someone finds it sexy. Which leads me to our latest fetish spotlight: tickling.

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adult babies blog sex with emilyFor some adults, things like pacifiers, diapers and cribs are a thing of the distant past. Some only deal with these things when they have children of their own. But in other cases still, they all have a prominent place in the bedroom. That’s right, today we’re talking adult babies.

Of-age, consenting adults that simply get off on the notion of age-playing as floor-crawling, toy-wielding, diaper-donned infants.

Have questions? Well, you’re definitely not alone. It’s an intriguing world that often warrants quite a few if you’re not a direct member. So without further ado, let’s dive into today’s fetish spotlight.  

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kinky quarantine blog sex with emilyWhen more and more of us have been under government mandates to “shelter in place” or stay “safe from home” or, in other words “Quarantine and Chill,” it has brought up all kinds of issues in our lives…and emotions.

One minute you’re feeling frisky, the next you’re chugging wine under your weighted blanket watching The Tiger King. Yeah. It’s “Love In the Time of Corona,” baby.

Well for us kinky folks (or those who would like to be), Covid-19 can be a real boner kill. But don’t despair! You might be tempted to go all vanilla right now, but your kink flag is still there! So let’s see how we can keep it flying, shall we?

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furries blog sex with emilyFaux fur, big ears, cartoonish eyes—to some this might sound like the aisle of a toy store. But to others, it’s their community. And though you may not see them, there are plenty of furries out there.

Most people have at least heard of “furries”. As a subculture, it has earned a colorful reputation over the years. Perhaps you’re someone who only really knows about it from that one episode of CSI, but the truth is there’s a lot more to the furry community than meets the eye. 

So let’s get into it.

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lucky blog sex with emilyTop o’ the morning to ya! It is St Patty’s Day and it’s time to get it on! 

Ahhhh St. Patrick’s Day!  A day where leprechauns, shamrock, and green beer abounds! 

As the world around you goes green, now is the time to get pinched (if you’re into that lol).

This year, you don’t have to go out to a bar, drink yourself silly, and go home and drunk masturbate (although that can be fun, too).

Here are some better ways you can get lucky on St Patty’s Day.

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