When starting a sexual relationship with someone, there is one dreaded question that inevitably comes up in your coital conversations. What’s your number? The number of people that you’ve had sex with somehow always comes into question and it can be a nerve-wracking question to answer.
I recently experienced something of a crisis while pondering my own sexual identity, and thought of this question. I could not, for the life of me remember the number of people I have had sex with. Up until this point I felt that I had kept fairly meticulous mental record of “my number.” I remember when it was 2, I remember when it was 10, I even remember my favorite number, 15.
Somewhere after 20, however, I irretrievably lost count. I tried to make a list, crossing off “almosts” and writing question marks next to forgotten names. But alas, my list-making was to no avail. I began to question the validity of my own memory and whether some of these sexual encounters were figments of my fear, fantasy or imagination. Continue Reading
Sexual independence is all about taking control of your own pleasure. There may be other people involved in the process, but when it comes down to it, your pleasure is your prerogative.
You may expect your partner to pick you up from the airport. You probably expect them to remember your birthday and to fix the shower curtain that they broke. Yet, I’m sorry to tell you, you can’t expect your partner to be responsible for your orgasms.
In movies and TV, sex usually looks like three or four thrusts followed by simultaneously orgasming. Of course, anyone that’s ever had sex knows that it usually takes a little bit more than that to really get sent over the edge. And while you may want your partner to whisk you away and do what they will with you, the truth is, when it comes to your orgasms, you’re the one in charge. Here’s how to take control of your own pleasure.
On today’s show, Emily is talking about independence in a relationship & the importance of establishing those boundaries with a new partner — and as always, answering your sex, dating, & relationship questions.
Click Here to Subscribe
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Photo by Trent Yarnell on Unsplash
With the 4th of July upon us, our minds turn to BBQs, fireworks, and independence.
However, there is one type of independence whose name is rarely spoken.
One that lives in the shade of a willow tree by the river where you had your first kiss. Hides under the blankets when you’re trying to masturbate before work, quietly so your roommates don’t hear.
It lurks in the climax triggered by a partner or your go-to sex toy. Its name is Sexual Independence. But how do you claim this sexual freedom? We find out…