5 Ways to Tell if Someone’s Good in Bed

good in bed

People ask me all the time for ways to tell if someone’s good in bed.

In fact, I just got this email from a listener in Houston:

Dear Emily,

Do you have any tips for figuring out if someone’s good in bed before you sleep with them? The reason I’m asking is because there’s this guy at work who I always thought was really hot, but he had a girlfriend. Well, the other day he came over to my desk to specifically ask if I was going to happy hour on Friday. Then I found out he and his girlfriend had broken up! Now I can’t stop thinking about sleeping with him and I’m dying of curiosity. Are there any clues that might help me even though I only see him in an office?

To these questions, I say Absolutely!

There are definitely clues you can spot, even in the office, since there are plenty of characteristics that good lovers share. Just be prepared to dig a little below the surface, and tune your intuition into a sexier frequency.

Here are 5 Ways to Tell if Someone’s Good in Bed – the office version:

1. How are his moves?

You don’t need to see him dance or watch him play basketball – although those sound fun – to know if he’s smooth. How does he move around the office? Is he charming and articulate? Does he seem comfortable in his own skin? If he comes across as clear and well spoken in business situations, and seems comfortable with himself physically, signs point to him having good moves.

2.  Fine Motor Skills?

good in bed

Image from GQ Magazine.

I don’t care how intellectual or corporate your office is, you can still spot a guy who’s good with his hands. Have you ever watched him twirling a pen around on his fingertip during a meeting? Adding cream to his coffee and stirring it with one of those skinny straws? These seemingly small gestures can tell you a lot. Someone with fine motor skills will do these things and make them look deliberate, definite, and in control. If you find yourself fantasizing about those hands putting down the pen and starting to unbutton your shirt … well, you get the picture.

3.  Is he Confident?

We’ve all been with men who were so insecure in bed that it was hard to get turned on. Well, confidence in the boardroom is a pretty good sign of confidence in the bedroom. When you see him in the office, does he carry himself straight and walk with a purpose? Does he make good eye contact and not turn away from difficult or contentious conversations? Does he act like a leader? These are all great signs of confidence and intensity that will work overtime in the bedroom.

4. Myers Briggs?

We’ve all taken those personality tests that are supposed to help our careers by identifying our personality traits. Think about how you would describe this guy to your boss or another colleague, and then translate them (in your head!) into a bedroom situation. If you can say things like, “he’s patient, good at expressing himself yet also a good listener, a strong multi-tasker who never loses sight of his ultimate goal,” I think you’re on the right track.

5. The Spark

good in bed

I think every good lover has a spark in his eye. It doesn’t have to be a naughty spark – although that can certainly be fun – but it has to say that he’s still excited about what life might bring. Next time you talk to this guy at the water cooler or the coffee machine, look for it, even if you’re just talking about work. If you see a spark in his eyes, you’ll know that he’s open to new adventures … maybe even with you. And if that doesn’t make for a good lover, then I don’t know what does!

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