People ask me all the time for tips to tell if someone is good in bed. In fact, I just got this email from a listener in Houston:
Do you have any tips for figuring out if someone’s good in bed before you sleep with them? The reason why I’m asking is because there’s this guy at work who I think is really hot, but he’s always had a girlfriend. The other day, he came over to my desk to specifically ask if I was going to happy hour on Friday. Then, I found out he and his girlfriend had broken up! I can’t stop thinking about sleeping with him, and I’m dying of curiosity. Are there any clues that might help me figure out how it might go even though I only see him in an office?
To these questions, I say: Absolutely!
There are definitely clues you can spot, even in the office, since there are plenty of characteristics that good lovers share. Just be prepared to dig a little below the surface, and tune your intuition into a sexier frequency.
Here are 5 Ways to Tell if Someone is Good in Bed – Office Edition:
1. How are their moves?
You don’t need to see them dance or watch them play sports – although those sound fun – to know if they’re smooth. How do they move around the office? Are they charming and articulate? Do they seem comfortable in their own skin? If they come across as clear and well-spoken in business situations, and seem comfortable with themselves physically, signs point to them having good moves.
2. Fine motor skills?
I don’t care how intellectual or corporate your office is, you can still spot a person who’s good with their hands. Have you ever watched them twirling a pen around their fingertip during a meeting? Adding cream to their coffee and stirring it with one of those skinny straws? These seemingly small gestures can tell you a lot. Someone with fine motor skills will do these things and make them look deliberate, definite, and in control. If you find yourself fantasizing about those hands putting down the pen and starting to unbutton your shirt … well, you get the picture.
3. Are they confident?
We’ve all been with partners who were so insecure in bed that it was hard to get turned on. Well, confidence in the boardroom is a pretty good sign of confidence in the bedroom. When you see them in the office, do they carry themselves straight and walk with a purpose? Do they make good eye contact and not turn away from difficult or contentious conversations? Do they act like a leader? These are all great signs of confidence and intensity that will work overtime in the bedroom.
4. Myers-Briggs personality?
We’ve all taken those personality tests that are supposed to help our careers by identifying our dominant personality traits. Think about how you would describe this person to your boss or another colleague, and then translate them (in your head!) into a bedroom situation. If you can say things like, “he’s patient, good at expressing himself, yet also a good listener, a strong multi-tasker who never loses sight of his ultimate goal,” I think you’re on the right track.
5. Is there a spark?
I think every good lover has a spark in their eye. It doesn’t have to be a naughty spark – although that can certainly be fun – but it has to say that they’re still excited about what life might bring. Next time you talk to this potential lover at the water cooler or the coffee machine, look for it, even if you’re just talking about work. If you see a spark in his eyes, you’ll know that he’s open to new adventures … maybe even with you. And if that doesn’t make for a good lover, then I don’t know what does!