Ask Emily: How Do I Tell Him I’m a Squirter?
I met a man while traveling, we have been talking for a while since, and now he’s coming to visit. We haven’t been intimate yet, but I have a feeling that it will happen while he’s here. Which leads me to my question…
When I have sex, I produce a lot of female ejaculate, and if previous measures are not taken, the bed really isn’t suitable to sleep in after. I want to give this guy a heads-up, but I don’t really know how to approach this. Also I don’t want him to be disappointed if, for some reason, I do not “squirt” the first time with him (which has happened before).
Should I tell him beforehand? If so, how? Or should I just let it be a surprise?
With love, Sage
A: Dear Sage
First and foremost, congratulations on your sexual superpower! I know the subject of squirting may feel a bit taboo, but it’s surprisingly not an uncommon aspect of female orgasm, and it’s a desirable one at that! My inbox is flooded with questions from women who would like to be able to master the skill. As for the guys, well…they’re pretty into it too.
Still, I can see where your concerns are coming from. On the one hand, you want to alert your future partner so he isn’t completely caught off guard if/when it goes down. But then again, is this a conversation you really want to have over the phone, weeks before any sex actually occurs? How does one go about breaking that news ahead of time? “Hey Ben, you might wanna pack your poncho….”
The fact is any conversation about sexual response can feel a bit awkward, no matter how long you’ve been with your partner. There’s just something about any form of sex talk that can make us feel vulnerable and, therefore, a bit shy. And that’s before bringing an often-fetishized topic like female ejaculation into the mix.