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Dear Emily,

My boyfriend and I have a great sex life, but there is one issue that keeps popping up. He recently asked me to pleasure myself in front of him, and it’s not the first time he has made this request. I masturbate from time to time, but never in front of another person! I feel like masturbation is such a private activity and trying to do it in front of him feels awkward and forced. The last time he asked, I got angry and told him to do it himself and see how it feels, but my plan backfired because he totally loved it. Why is this such a big turn on for him? And how can I masturbate for my BF without feeling so uncomfortable?

Sincerely,
Self-Love Self Conscious

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In this podcast, I take a walk down memory lane with three incredible colleagues and co-hosts, Dr. Drew Pinsky, Anderson and Menace. We cover 15 years of sex questions and advice. We also talk about how screen time gets in the way of relationships and Menace opens up about overcoming his shyness and building his confidence. 
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isodating blog sex with emilyThe Spring of 2020 was really rough on people with active dating and social lives. Staying safe at home meant that our normal patterns of meeting people for dinner, drinks, or something a bit more intimate, had to be put on hold. But humans are still humans,  and we didn’t just give up on it! We got creative and started “Isodating”.

What exactly is Isodating? How do you do it? And how can help it help you get some human to human social contact, or maybe even more?

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Happy International Non-binary People’s Day! In this episode, Emily talks to the charming non-binary actor Vico Ortiz about how they keep dating interesting during COVID. Vico’s gone to great lengths to keep themselves busy and satisfied while stuck at home so if you’re missing human connection, this one’s for you. They also discuss the difference between gender and sexuality, what to do if you get someone’s pronouns wrong and healthy ways to make time for yourself.
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Dear Emily,painful sex blog sex with emily

I’m a late bloomer when it comes to masturbation and having orgasms. (I didn’t even know that women could masturbate until I was in my twenties!)

Now I’m figuring out what turns me on, what movements I like, and what doesn’t work. I even have a wonderful partner who is totally on board to help me figure it out.

Sometimes when I masturbate, or when my partner fingers me to climax, this weird thing happens: My body spasms, and it’s kind of painful (usually in just the pelvic area).

I can’t hold my vibrator to my clit any longer or I push my partner’s hand away, even though I feel that I could have gone deeper into the orgasm. It totally keeps me from just melting into the experience.

I’m wondering if I’m pushing myself to climax before I’m fully warmed up? Is that a thing? Or is this a serious issue that I might have to get looked at?

Sincerely,

Leslie, 27

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