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Sami Harris

One of the simplest yet best ways to bring you and your partner closer during any sexual activity is to use lube. Even if you have no problems with vaginal dryness, personal lubricants can be utilized as a tool to further heighten your experience in the bedroom. There have never been more varieties of lube available on the market than in today’s world, and it can be easily found at supermarkets, big box stores, and pharmacies. Here’s how to use lube to amp up your sex game. 

Why Use Lube?

It can be used during any sexual act (yes, even during masturbation!)

Lube is wonderfully inclusive in that it can be used by anyone, regardless of gender, age, or sexuality. In addition, it can make masturbation a more pleasurable experience and can make using a toy easier as well! Since lube can be either water, oil, or silicone-based, just make sure that yours is suitable for the toys you are using and for yourself and any partners!

Contrary to popular belief, you don’t just have to use lube when things have gone dry.

Different types of lubricants can have different purposes and effects. For example, flavored lubes can be used during oral sex acts, and certain lubricants have cooling or warming effects when applied that can spice up sex by adding in new sensations. Certain types can even delay orgasm, making for a longer, more intimate experience. Additionally, when lube is used with a condom, it can help make sex feel more natural. It never hurts to lube up before any sex act, as it enhances the pleasure for everyone involved!

Let’s face it, it’s necessary for anal sex.

Unlike the vagina and penis, the anus does not produce natural lubrication for sex. It’s recommended to apply lube multiple times during anal sex in order to relax these muscles–during foreplay, intercourse, and when using toys. Doing so can make the experience of anal sex even more enjoyable!

Lube reduces your risk of injury during sex.

This is because lube reduces friction; as a result, it can also be used to make it less likely for condoms to break! Be sure you are using a water or silicone-based lubricant, as oil-based lubes can cause the condom to break down.

Interested? Here are some of our favorites!

  1. pjur personal lubricants – All the way from Germany, pjur (pronounced “pure”) has been in the market for over 20 years and has delivered silky pleasure and the highest quality to many around the world. They have lines specifically for vulva and penis owners, and even lube purposefully designed for better anal play.
  2. Wet Platinum Silicone-Based Lube – This paraben-free silicone lubricant is clear, odorless, non-sticky, latex safe, and easy to apply. Formulated with premium, high-grade silicone for ultimate performance. It is also vegan, keto, kosher, and gluten-free! One of the benefits of this lube is that it is incredibly long-lasting, making for an enhanced sexual experience.
  3. Muse Intimacy – Made in California, Muse has the most delicious lubricants you will ever use! They carry lubricants that are pH compatible, paraben-free, and made with plant-based ingredients. Muse lubes are safe to use with latex condoms and even safe to ingest. Their flavors include salted caramel, crème brûlée, and mint chocolate. Yum!

Whether it be used during intercourse with a partner or solo sex, using lubrication can enhance any sexual experience while also helping with vaginal dryness and making sex safer. Overall, using lubrication has many benefits and is a tool that can be utilized to take sexual pleasure to new levels. If you’ve never tried out lube as a part of your experiences in the bedroom, now is the time to do so!

Sami Harris is a freelance writer and social media consultant born and raised in Orange County, California. She is currently the written editor for Jawbreaker Zine, has bylines in Pure Nowhere, Clover Letter, Adolescent Content, Uniquely Aligned, Also Cool Mag, Lithium Magazine, Always In A Funk, and Odyssey Online, and work forthcoming in Sumou Mag and Polemical Zine.

first sex toy

If you’re reading this article, then you’re probably looking into buying your first-ever sex toy. Congratulations! Buying your first toy can be an exciting experience; however, it can be equally parts frustrating. 

In today’s world, there are multiple different avenues for buying sex toys. If going into a physical storefront isn’t really your style, plenty of online marketplaces sell an array of sex toys to fit your needs and lifestyle. Whether you are shopping for a toy to use for yourself, one to use with a partner, a vibrator, a dildo, or anything in between, here is a guide to choose the best sex toy for you.

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Tantric Sex

You’ve likely heard the phrase “tantric sex,” but do you actually know what it means? Derived from the Sanskrit word for “woven together,” tantric sex is a practice with roots dating back over 5,000 years. It’s a practice that has been in existence since literally the beginning of time—the concepts of tantra were created by Hindu people and Buddhists as early as the beginning of the first millennium A.D. 

Tantra sexology is used as a metaphor for weaving together humanity and the divine in order to create a sacred sexual practice that teaches slow, non-orgasmic sexual intercourse. Sexual partners who try tantric sex often end up cultivating a greater sense of pleasure and a way of “dissolving into each other” at the end of their practice—making it a great way to bring couples together. 

Why Should I Give Tantric Sex A Try? 

The work of tantra pays off. Tantric sex experts believe that being intentional with the time you put into your sexual practice will result in a feeling of extreme bliss and enlightenment. The tantric practice promotes self-awareness and intentional action that can enhance your sexual experiences. It can also teach you balance and connection that will help you to build greater intimacy with your partner while cultivating a deeper awareness of your own body.

During sex, we too often lose sight of what we want out of the experience and do not question if we’re really enjoying ourselves or not. But tantra allows us to become fully present in the sexual moment, which can help us to feel new sensations in their entirety. If you struggle to let go of stress from the outside world during sex and concentrate on what is happening at the moment, it may be beneficial to give tantra a try.

How To Perform Tantric Sex

Since tantric sex is not goal-oriented, the trick to having an incredible and authentic tantric experience is to focus on making foreplay enjoyable until the experience ends naturally. The experience usually starts with eye contact and matching each other’s breathing. 

Tantra is all about keeping the energy flowing continuously through your body, so try to release any tension you feel that you may be holding before you begin your practice. Most tantra experts also recommend changing up your environment during your practice and not staying on a bed while performing tantric sex, as this may trigger the sleep button in your brain. 

Try lying down on the floor with your partner instead. Take your time leisurely exploring their body and touching each other. Experiment with a variety of touches—from firm massage to gentle strokes. Most importantly, take time to focus on your breathing. If your mind begins to wander during this practice, simply focus on inhaling and exhaling in time with your partner in order to recenter your mind and body. 

If you still find you can’t last beyond ten minutes, don’t give up, and don’t be too hard on yourself! Tantric sex takes time to master because of our deeply ingrained, Western views of how sex should be. 

The key here is to let go of expectation and focus on the journey rather than an end goal. We have been trained to expect sex to have a beginning, middle, and end. With practice, you can begin to let go of this mindset and stop focusing your energy on an obvious conclusion. This will also allow for you to be able to control your body so that you can further delay climax and experience more intense orgasms—talk about a win-win situation. 

If you’re interested in trying out tantric sex practices with your partner, start an open dialogue and share why you find it interesting. The act of tantric sex is extremely rewarding and a beautiful opportunity to get further in touch with your own sexual nature, bringing you closer to both your partner and yourself. 

Sami Harris is a freelance writer and social media consultant born and raised in Orange County, California. She is currently the written editor for Jawbreaker Zine, has bylines in Pure Nowhere, Clover Letter, Adolescent Content, Uniquely Aligned, Also Cool Mag, Lithium Magazine, Always In A Funk, and Odyssey Online, and work forthcoming in Sumou Mag and Polemical Zine.