You’ve likely heard the phrase “tantric sex,” but do you actually know what it means? Derived from the Sanskrit word for “woven together,” tantric sex is a practice with roots dating back over 5,000 years. It’s a practice that has been in existence since literally the beginning of time—the concepts of tantra were created by Hindu people and Buddhists as early as the beginning of the first millennium A.D.
Tantra sexology is used as a metaphor for weaving together humanity and the divine in order to create a sacred sexual practice that teaches slow, non-orgasmic sexual intercourse. Sexual partners who try tantric sex often end up cultivating a greater sense of pleasure and a way of “dissolving into each other” at the end of their practice—making it a great way to bring couples together.
The Benefits of Tantric Sex
The work of tantra pays off. Tantric sex experts believe that being intentional with the time you put into your sexual practice will result in a feeling of extreme bliss and enlightenment. The tantric practice promotes self-awareness and intentional action that can enhance your sexual experiences. It can also teach you balance and connection that will help you to build greater intimacy with your partner while cultivating a deeper awareness of your own body.
During sex, we too often lose sight of what we want out of the experience and do not question if we’re really enjoying ourselves or not. But tantra allows us to become fully present in the sexual moment, which can help us to feel new sensations in their entirety. If you struggle to let go of stress from the outside world during sex and concentrate on what is happening at the moment, it may be beneficial to give tantra a try.
How To Get Started
Since tantric sex is not goal-oriented, the trick to having an incredible and authentic tantric experience is to focus on making foreplay enjoyable until the experience ends naturally. The experience usually starts with eye contact and matching each other’s breathing.
Tantra is all about keeping the energy flowing continuously through your body, so try to release any tension you feel that you may be holding before you begin your practice. Most tantra experts also recommend changing up your environment during your practice and not staying on a bed while performing tantric sex, as this may trigger the sleep button in your brain.
Try lying down on the floor with your partner instead. Take your time leisurely exploring their body and touching each other. Experiment with a variety of touches—from firm massage to gentle strokes. Most importantly, take time to focus on your breathing. If your mind begins to wander during this practice, simply focus on inhaling and exhaling in time with your partner in order to recenter your mind and body.
Patient Pays Off
If you still find you can’t last beyond ten minutes, don’t give up, and don’t be too hard on yourself! Tantric sex takes time to master because of our deeply ingrained, Western views of how sex should be.
The key here is to let go of expectation and focus on the journey rather than an end goal. We have been trained to expect sex to have a beginning, middle, and end. With practice, you can begin to let go of this mindset and stop focusing your energy on an obvious conclusion. This will also allow for you to be able to control your body so that you can further delay climax and experience more intense orgasms—talk about a win-win situation.
If you’re interested in trying out tantric sex practices with your partner, start an open dialogue and share why you find it interesting. The act of tantric sex is extremely rewarding and a beautiful opportunity to get further in touch with your own sexual nature, bringing you closer to both your partner and yourself.
Sami Harris is a freelance writer and social media consultant born and raised in Orange County, California. She is currently the written editor for Jawbreaker Zine, has bylines in Pure Nowhere, Clover Letter, Adolescent Content, Uniquely Aligned, Also Cool Mag, Lithium Magazine, Always In A Funk, and Odyssey Online, and work forthcoming in Sumou Mag and Polemical Zine.