How to Find the Best Lube for You


We all love a good slip and slide, so hopefully we all love to use lube as well.

While still having a reputation for only being necessary for a mature demographic or those with medical issues, neither is the case! Personal lubricant is safe, fun, and used by all genders. Plus, it can be used solo or with partners. However, it’s important to use the right kind of lubricant at the right time.
There are a few simple mistakes that a lot of people make when using lubricant, so today we are debunking myths and laying down the lube law for you.  Plus, all these products make great stocking stuffers and gifts for your lover(s) and close friends.  


Let’s Talk About Timing

Did you know that some lubricants are intended to be used at different sexual times? Well, they are! So let’s get lube smart.

Pre-lube is growing in popularity recently, with Foria being the leaders in beautiful high-quality pre-lubricants. Foria Awaken is designed to be sprayed directly onto the clitoris, inner and outer labia, and inside the vagina. The reason it’s a pre-lubricant is because this product is intended to be applied roughly 10-30 minutes before climax, though some people can take less or more time to feel its delicious effects. While it affects everyone differently, women report feelings of enhanced warmth and blood flow, tingling, relaxation, and ease in reaching orgasm (or multiples). For some, the orgasms are also longer or more intense.

Foria Awaken is not recommended for use with latex condoms. However, it can be used with non-latex products including polyurethane, polyisoprene, lambskin and nitrile condoms (we recommend SKYN). 


Water-Based Lubricants

Water based lubricants usually have a natural sensation, and can be used with silicone and latex products (unless indicated otherwise). If you’re using toys, water-based is the way to go. These typically don’t stain the sheets, or anything else they may splash on. They are not particularly greasy, but this light texture does mean that you may want to re-apply during play. Sometimes just adding a little water or saliva does the trick to get things wet and wild again.

Water based lubricants often contain deionized water, and also may have glycerin or propylene glycol as part of their listed ingredients. While they rarely cause irritation, some people do have sensitivities, so a patch test is a good idea. If you are someone who is sensitive, there are water-based options that use more organic ingredients. It’s best to avoid any of the typical brands you find in the department store, as those are usually made with more chemicals and can be quite sticky. 

The Pjur Aqua is an incredible option – it feels super smooth, and gets completely absorbed into the skin, leaving you feeling moisturized and in the mood.


Silicone Based Lubricants

These are the longest lasting type of lubricants, are very slippery in texture, and generally don’t need much reapplication during use. Silicone based lubes usually have no taste, odor, or stickiness, unless buying a scented type. This is the most ideal type of lubricant for anal sex and prolonged vaginal intercourse. If you’re feeling frisky in a swimming pool or shower, silicone lube will be the best choice (and won’t wash away).

Silicone lubes are safe for use with most condoms, but best not used with silicone sex toys. We love the Pjur Original, which feels amazing. The silicone molecules don’t get absorbed into the skin, making it ideal for longer-lasting sex, and and intimate massages. 


Oil Based Lubricants

Oil based lubricants have, you guessed it, an oily texture. Some people love this, and find it ideal for both massage and intercourse. If you’re curious about using an oil based lubricant, there are a few very important things to consider. For one, it isn’t a safe choice to use with latex condoms or sex toys made from rubber, PVC or latex. It can badly damage them, and we don’t want our condoms or our toys to be compromised! At Sex With Emily, we love safe sex and we love sex toys, so let’s keep both protected.

Another consideration is that some vulva owners find that oil based lubricants alter their PH balance, which can lead to increased risk of vaginal infections and bacterial overgrowth. So, test them out first before going ham. They can also stain the sheets, so throwing down a liberator fascinator or even just an old towel is a good idea.

For something all-natural, we recommend Woo More Play, which is made from ingredients like coconut oil, vanilla extract, beeswax, and stevia. Plus, it doubles as massage oil, so you can really get into the mood.

Many health professionals recommend washing off oil-based lubricants after use in unscented soap and warm water. The concern is that the oil can leave a coating on the rectum or vagina that may increase the risk of bacterial infections. We do not recommend products like Vaseline, baby oil, or mineral oil – as they often contain petrochemicals and other potentially harmful ingredients.



In A League Of Its Own

Worth mentioning is the lubricant climbing in recent popularity, Aloe Cadabra, which is a natural FDA-cleared and organic lubricant. It is over 90% aloe vera, and is compatible with most condoms (besides polyurethane). This lubricant is body absorbing, so re-application may be required. On the other hand, it’s moisturizing, with no clean up usually necessary. Plus, it’s PH balanced! It’s also a good additional option for people with allergies. As always, patch test first. All of these products make great gifts for you and your lover. 


Happy lubing!



Isabella Frappier is an Australian writer, holistic life coach, tarot reader, birth doula, and apothecarist who is currently based in LA. When she’s not busy championing her sex positive agenda she… oh wait – she’s always busy doing that. You can connect with her at or follew her Instagram @bellatookaphoto!
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