How to Make It Work: Problematic Sex Positions
Have you ever been having incredible sex, only to have it all fall apart the second you change positions? It happens to all of us. Sometimes you fall out of rhythm, you can’t get comfortable, or you just can’t figure out how to make it feel as good as the others.
Sure, you could just avoid those moves altogether, or you can try some simple tricks to potentially turn them into your favorites. Now ladies, there are things you can do to make these positions work out for you and your partner alike. Here are five common position problems and ways to fix them:
Missionary is one of the most popular sexual positions. However, from a woman’s standpoint, especially pleasure-wise, it’s not necessarily the best. It is intimate, great if you like to kiss or make a lot of eye contact during sex, but it doesn’t provide enough stimulation for the g-spot and only a small amount for the clitoris. It’s not the most adventurous position, but it’s easy and it can be pretty great with the right partner, so you might as well make sure that all the spots will be hit.
An easy way to improve missionary is to put a pillow underneath the woman’s hips and butt to act as a bolster. This makes the position more comfortable for her and elevates her pelvic region to allow for more stimulation to the clitoris. This also make it easier for the penis to hit the front wall of the vagina and penetrate deeper, giving the g-spot the attention it deserves.
Another way to improve this position is to switch up your leg placement — They don’t always have to be laying flat on the bed, after all. Instead, you can rest her legs up on your partner’s shoulders, wrap them around his waist, bend your knees close to your chest, or put your legs up in the air, over your head for a really deep penetrative experience. Mix it up, and see what works the best!
Another very intimate position is spooning, laying side-by-side with the woman in the front and the man acting as the “big spoon” behind her. This position is nice for morning sex, or if you’re both snuggling on the couch underneath a blanket. While spooning doesn’t quite allow for deep penetration, it does provide easy access to the clitoris. As cute and cuddly as this position may be, it’s also kind of an awkward one. You’re so close to each other, facing the same way, and your legs might feel like they’re in the wrong place, making it slightly uncomfortable. It’s also more difficult to thrust, which makes it harder to develop a good rhythm to move together to.
To make this position easier, the woman can arch her back to better align her pelvis with the man’s. She can then take her top leg and put it slightly behind his so she can be somewhat latch onto him. Both partners should be thrusting at the same time, the woman going back while the man goes forward, to allow as much penetration as possible. Start off slow to get a matched rhythm and build speed once both partners are certain that they’re on the same page. This is also a great position to incorporate touching of some erogenous zones, to increase pleasure and enhance intimacy.
Cowgirl, or the woman-on-top position, is one of my personal favorites, but can be tricky to master. It is great for women who like to be in control, especially those that know how to help themselves achieve orgasm. In this position, deep penetration is possible and the penis has a much better chance of hitting the g-spot. Plus it can be done lying down or sitting, both of which make it easy to be comfortable. The problems, however, are similar to that of spooning in the sense that finding a rhythm may be hard. There is also a lot of stamina involved, and when done the way we often see in porn, the clitoris does not get as much love as one would like.
Let me start by saying that, if you find yourself getting tired during cowgirl, your best bet is to switch up your movement. You don’t have to hop up and down, ladies. In fact, this position actually works best when you swivel your hips and grind on top of your partner, whichever feels best for you. This grinding and swiveling directly stimulates the clitoris as it presses against your mans pubic bone, and also lets him feel your vagina from all angles. Your guy can also thrust from the bottom, while you’re holding yourself up to switch up who’s controlling the rhythm. Once you master this position, both you and your partner will love it.
Can you guess how this one’s done? If you guessed cowgirl, but facing the other way, you’re right! The angle of insertion is what can trip up a lot of couples in this position. Because the penis is entering the vagina from underneath and behind, it can be hard to stay on top and keep up your stamina and momentum.
Ladies, you’re in complete control here, so go ahead and play around with different movement, hand placement, and posture. You can swivel your hips, or lean forward and grab his legs to get a good rhythm going or place your hands behind you on his thighs to keep steady. If you’re looking for deeper penetrations or want to hit your G-spot, arch your back and have him pull your arms back. If you find that your clitoris isn’t getting enough attention in this position, lend yourself a helping hand! Reverse cowgirl is one of those positions that leaves your clitoris very accessible by hand. This feels amazing when it’s done right. Riding my cowboy backwards is my favorite way to ride.
Doggy style, where the man comes from behind and the woman on her knees is a favorite among the fellas. I don’t know many men who don’t enjoy this position, as the penetration is deep. When done correctly, it can feel fantastic for you and your man. It’s easy for your guy to develop a rhythm, but can easily get repetitive and if done too fast, can lead to his manhood slipping right out of you. Even though your guy will have a prime view of your rear end, you won’t be able to see each other’s faces, making it significantly less intimate than other positions. So if you’re looking for a romantic love-making session, this position might not be the one to spend most of your time in.
If you feel like things are escalating too quickly, you can take control by backing up on your guy while he holds your hips in place. You can also modify the sensation by leaning all the way forward with a pillow underneath you as he slips in in between your legs. This helps change up the position and can give your guy a break from tiring aggressive thrusting. And since you can’t look each other in the eye, get verbal! Even if talking dirty isn’t your thing, moans and groans can help your partner know that you’re enjoying yourself and makes the overall experience feel sexier.
After trying some of these tips, you might find that a position you once avoided is now one that’s involved in every sexual session you have. Or, you may decide that certain positions still aren’t for you. The best way to make ANY position work for you better is through communication. Talk to each other and help each other figure out what feels good and what could feel better. Try to shift your body placement for a different angle with each position. Switch it up! Not everything is going to come or feel natural at first, which is exactly why you have to try different things to see what works the best. Position practice makes perfect!