Have you ever been having incredible sex, only to have it all fall apart the second you change positions? It happens to all of us. Sometimes you fall out of rhythm, you can’t get comfortable, or you just can’t figure out how to make the position feel as good as the others. Sure, you could just avoid those moves altogether, or you can try some simple tricks to turn difficult sex positions into your new favorites.
There are things you can do to make these difficult sex positions work out for you and your partner alike. Here are five common sex position problems and ways to fix them:
Missionary is one of the most popular sexual positions. It’s intimate, which is great if you like to kiss or make a lot of eye contact during sex. However, it doesn’t provide a lot of g-spot stimulation, and only offers a small amount of clitoris stimulation, making it one of our difficult sex positions.
It’s not the most adventurous position, but it’s easy and it can feel pretty great with the right partner. You might as well make sure that all the spots will be hit!
An easy way to improve missionary is to put a pillow or wedge underneath the bottom partner’s hips and butt to act as a bolster. This makes the position more comfortable and elevates the pelvic region to allow for more stimulation of the clitoris. This also makes it easier for the penis to hit the front wall of the vagina and penetrate deeper, giving the g-spot the attention it deserves.
Another way to improve this difficult sex position is to switch up your leg placement. They don’t always have to be lying flat on the bed. Instead, rest your legs up on your partner’s shoulders, wrap them around their waist, bend your knees close to your chest, or put your legs up in the air, over your head for a really deep penetrative experience. Mix it up, and see what works the best!
Another intimate position is spooning, laying side-by-side with one person in the front and the other acting as the “big spoon” behind. This position is nice for lazy morning sex, or if you’re both snuggling on the couch underneath a blanket. While spooning doesn’t quite allow for deep penetration, it does provide easy access to the clitoris.
As cute and cuddly as this position may be, it can also be an awkward one. You’re so close to each other, facing the same way, and your legs might feel like they’re in the wrong place, making it slightly uncomfortable. It’s also more difficult to thrust, which makes it harder to develop a good rhythm to move together.
To make this position easier, the person in front can arch their back to better align their pelvis with their partner’s. They can take their top leg and put it slightly behind the big spoon’s leg. Both partners should be thrusting at the same time, the person in front will be going back while the other partner goes forward, to allow as much penetration as possible.
Start off slow to get a matched rhythm and build speed once both partners are certain that they’re on the same page. This is also a great position to incorporate touching of some erogenous zones, to increase pleasure and enhance intimacy.
Cowgirl, or the vulva-owner-on-top position, is one of my personal favorites but can be tricky to master. It is great for vulva-owners who like to be in control, especially those that know how to help themselves achieve orgasm. In this position, deep penetration is possible and the penis has a much better chance of hitting the g-spot. Plus, it can be done lying down or sitting, both of which make it easy to be comfortable.
The problems, however, are similar to that of spooning in the sense that finding a rhythm may be hard. There is also a lot of stamina involved, and when done the way we often see in porn, the clitoris does not get as much love as one would like.
Let me start by saying that, if you find yourself getting tired during cowgirl, your best bet is to switch up your movement. You don’t have to hop up and down. In fact, this position actually works best when you swivel your hips and grind on top of your partner, whichever feels best for you.
This grinding and swiveling motion directly stimulates the clitoris as it presses against your partner’s pubic bone, and also lets them feel your vagina from all angles. They can also thrust from the bottom, while you’re holding yourself up to switch up who’s controlling the rhythm. Once you master this position, both you and your partner will love it. Pop in a butt plug for some added stimulation, like the Ditto by WeVibe.
Can you guess how this one’s done? If you guessed cowgirl, but facing the other way, you’re right! The angle of insertion is what can make this a difficult sex position for many couples. Because the penis is entering the vagina from underneath and behind, it can be hard to stay on top and keep up your stamina and momentum.
Vulva-owners, you’re in complete control here, so go ahead and play around with different movements, hand placement, and postures. You can swivel your hips, or lean forward and grab your partner’s legs to get a good rhythm going, or place your hands behind you on their thighs to keep steady.
If you’re looking for deeper penetrations or want to hit your g-spot, arch your back and have them pull your arms back. If you find that your clitoris isn’t getting enough attention in this position, lend yourself a helping hand! Reverse cowgirl is one of those positions that leaves your clitoris very accessible for stimulation with fingers or toys. This feels amazing when it’s done right.
Doggy style, where the penis-owner comes from behind and their partner is on their hand and knees, is another common favorite as the penetration is deep. When done correctly, it can feel fantastic for both partners. It’s easy to develop a rhythm, but can easily get repetitive, and if done too fast, can lead to the penis slipping right out of you.
Your penis-owning partner will have a prime view of your rear end, but you won’t be able to see each other’s faces, making it significantly less intimate than other positions. If you’re looking for a romantic love-making session, this position might not be the one to spend most of your time in.
If you feel like things are escalating too quickly, you can take control by backing yourself up while your partner holds your hips in place. You can also modify the intense sensation by leaning all the way forward with a pillow underneath you as your partner slips in between your legs. This helps change up the position and can give your partner a break from tiring aggressive thrusting.
Since you can’t easily make eye-contact, get verbal! Even if talking dirty isn’t your thing, moans and groans can help your partner know that you’re enjoying yourself and makes the overall experience feel sexier. Also, this position gives your partner a great view of your butt, so feel free to take advantage of that by asking them for some anal play.
Making Difficult Sex Positions Fun
After trying some of these tips, you might find that difficult sex positions you once avoided are now the ones you involve in every sexual session you have. Or, you may decide that certain sex positions still aren’t for you. The best way to make ANY position work for you better is through communication. Talk to each other and help each other figure out what feels good and what could feel better.
Experiment and explore. Try to shift your body placement for a different angle with each position. Switch it up! Not everything is going to come or feel natural at first, which is exactly why you have to try different things to see what works the best. Position practice makes perfect so get practicing…