If you’re human, chances are you probably have one or two things that you’re insecure about. All of us have self-esteem problems every now and then, but sometimes our gender identity has a role in the way we experience and deal with them.
In our experience, many folks who identify as men struggle to voice their insecurities, emotions and feelings. Some might argue that men are simply more confident, or that they feel less pressure to adhere to certain societal standards.
But “toxic masculinity,” or the dangerous limitation that describes manhood as being sexual, violent, status-driven, strong and aggressive, affects more than just women—it affects all of us.
Being positive about the world of sex and dating can be very difficult.
We’re surrounded 24/7 by impossible beauty standards, a laundry list of ‘ideal types’ and have our own personal pet peeves and insecurities. Our self talk can easily slip into the negative side.
Often what we are told to strive for is not only dangerous to our mental and emotional health, but an actual impossibility.
Here are some ways to identify, cope with, and rewrite negative and damaging self-talk around sex and dating.
I’ve been hearing the term BDE (Or Big Dick Energy) floating around for a while now. I really like the vibe of it, but the specific definition…not so much.
The idea is that having a “big” dick makes you more confident, calm, and self-assured. But the notion of penis size equating to penis value is an outdated, inaccurate, and hurtful one. It also leaves vulva owners and intersex or genital non-conforming folks out of the fun.
So I propose my own version instead; Genital Confidence Energy or GCE!
Whether you planned to be a single dad or not, that sh*t is hard!
Carpooling, helping with homework, packing lunches, staying up all night wondering if you’re doing a good enough job… it’s normal parenting stuff, but it doesn’t leave you feeling terribly sexy.
While I don’t believe that we should rely on a partner to fuel our sexual fire, it’s common practice to do so. Plus, if that’s been your pattern in the past, it’s even harder to break it now as a single dad.
Well never fear, I’m here to help you put a sexual spring back into your step.
Photo by Wyron A on Unsplash
So many of us struggle to prioritize self care, let alone self love.
It’s pretty quick to drop to the bottom of the to-do list for most people.
Whether it’s because of a busy life, juggling parenting with being a human, perhaps schooling, work, you name it, we have an excuse for prioritizing everyone and everything but ourselves.
So how do we find the balance, and what even is self-care, really?
June, in addition to being a month where you suddenly discover that you actually have friends who wear jorts, is also Pride month. As a community, we’ve got a lot to be proud of– marriage equality, increased visibility, new protection laws. All of this is well and good and worth wearing rainbow booty shorts (or jorts as the case may be) for.
But as a gay man, the road to being proud of myself, accepting myself and loving myself, hasn’t been an easy one. Especially when it comes to sex. Continue Reading
My dating days are far behind me (I’ve been with my man for a hundred years), but like a lot of soul-searching types, I tend to revisit past relationships in my mind. I think about how grateful I am that things didn’t actually work out the way I wanted them to at the time and about how the timing was just perfect for me to meet my husband when I did. I was emotionally ready for a healthy, no-games relationship.
It’s the iconic bedroom movie scene: sexual tensions are rising, but before things get hot and heavy, the beautiful dame has to go “freshen up.” Everyone knows she’s going to come back in a super hot outfit that will make the unsuspecting hunk go crazy! But what we don’t often stop to think about is how the garter-wearing heroine might be feeling underneath her silk and lace attire… My bet is, pretty freaking sexy.
Despite what you may think, lingerie isn’t just for men. Yes, it provides them with both visual and sexual pleasure, but it also makes us ladies feel sexier and empowered. Wearing lingerie can be an easy way to spice up things in the bedroom, but even if you’re single, it can be a great self-esteem booster to help you feel good about yourself, and proud of what you’ve got. Continue Reading
Are your issues with self-esteem and body-image weighing down your sex drive?
In this show, Emily addresses some of these key sex-killing issues, and shares tips to help you get your sex life right back where you want it. Special guest Alex Jamieson, author of the book Women, Food and Desire, stops by the studio to weigh in on the curious relationship between body image, diet and desire, for both men and women. Continue Reading
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Today’s show is all about confidence. Why? Emily believes you should make it your life work to cultivate confidence and tells you how to do it. Hands down men and women say confidence is the sexiest trait in and out of the bedroom. What’s preventing you from having it in the first place? Menace shares tips on how he got through his insecurities in the dating world and built his confidence. Confidence and self esteem are not about the way you look, how much you earn and definitely not how much you weigh. Emily gives advice on what women find attractive about confidence, what it means to be a confident woman and Menace shares the male perspective on the same issue.
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