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What makes you feel sexually confident?”

All month long, Emily has posed this question. And all month long, I have avoided attempting to answer it myself. The truth is, confidence is something I have always struggled with. Maybe not in all departments; I know what I bring to the table when it comes to my sense of humor. I am confident in my ability to carry on an intelligent conversation, even in front of a group of people. And I know for a fact that I can whip up a grilled cheese sandwich that would make you melt. The second I hit the bedroom, however, all that aplomb disappears. The self-assuredness I exude in my daily life dissipates somewhere in between dinner conversation and dirty talk, like spinach withering in a saute pan… Like it was never there at all.

That’s the thing about confidence, I guess. Practice makes perfect. While my 20 years of schooling gave me plenty of practice with social and academic confidence, when it comes to things between the sheets, well… guess I must have slept through that particular course. And I’m not the only one.  Continue Reading

les23um 050.jpg_effectedHaving a threesome is one of the top fantasies for men and women. And it never fails to be one of the most popular topics on the Sex With Emily site. Whenever we do a podcast, blog, or even a whisper about threesomes, everyone perks up a little bit… It’s an exciting topic, and one that we all want to learn a little more about… 

Well, here’s a treat for you: a peek into the part of the threesome triad that is often shrouded in mystery: The Unicorn. Continue Reading

sex-ed-signThe month of June signifies a slew of special occasions. It marks the start of swimsuit season, reminds us all to appreciate our fathers, and signifies the beginning of summer vacation. But just because June brings about the end of the school year doesn’t mean our education has to stop with it. In fact, the month of June is actually Adult Sex Ed Month (thanks to sex educator and writer Bobbie Morgan)! You might be thinking Adult Sex Ed? We should all have that stuff figured out by the time we reach adulthood right? Well, unfortunately, this just isn’t the case. Continue Reading

Screen Shot 2015-07-19 at 6.26.38 PMOnce upon a time, a magical fairy flew around the world to make an army of gay soldiers. He divided the soldiers into two categories, tops and bottoms. The tops were masculine men and the bottoms were feminine men. He created them to establish order in the gay community, so that they could frolic as they pleased. The gays lived in harmony for centuries until a mysterious soldier appeared. He said he did not belong to a category of soldiers. That versatile (vers) soldier changed the gay community forever… Continue Reading

Screen Shot 2015-05-08 at 6.32.17 PMI recently experienced something of a crisis while pondering my sexual identity.  I could not, for the life of me remember the number of people I have had sex with.  Up until this point I felt that I had kept fairly meticulous mental record of “my number.”  I remember when it was 2, I remember when it was 10, I even remember my favorite number, 15. Somewhere after 20, however, I irretrievably lost count. I tried to make a list, crossing off “almosts” and writing question marks next to girls’ names. But alas, my list-making was to no avail. I began to question the validity of my own memory and whether some of these sexual encounters were figments of my fear, fantasy or imagination. Continue Reading

IMG_8991On this week’s Sex With Emily podcast, Emily welcomes New York native, sex & relationship therapist, author, and television personality Dr. Chris Donaghue to discuss some common questions in sexuality and intimacy. Is it okay to be a little extra kinky?  What is normal (sexually speaking)? Together, they go in depth about our sociosexual obsession with being “normal,” and brief us on the importance of sexual deprogramming. Dr. Chris talks about his new book Sex Outside The Lines and how he got into sex therapy, not to mention his TURN ONS and TURN OFFS.

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