Ever wonder what the world would be like if we all felt comfortable talking about sex?
We’d have way more pleasure, less shame and much healthier relationships. Not to mention that talking about sex increases desire and leads to a more satisfying life all around.
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Dear Dr. Emily,
I’m wondering if it’s okay to always bring in a clitoral vibrator into the bedroom? It’s the only way I can orgasm, but I don’t want to hurt my partner’s feelings or have them think I’m weird. Thank you!
Feeling the Vibes
Hi Feeling the Vibes,
I love that you’re using toys and know what your body needs to feel pleasure. It can be difficult for women to orgasm in the first place, so you’re already on the right track.
There is nothing shameful about using a clitoral vibrator! I mean, you’re experiencing pleasure, right? Many vulva and vibrator owners keep their toys to themselves out of fear of rejection or offending their partner. But I say, why NOT give your partner a chance to see what the magic is all about?
Like anything, start by being mindful of how to start the conversation. Best not to overwhelm them or pull it out without much warning. Remember the three T’s of communication: timing, tone, and turf. Bring it up outside of the bedroom and start by having a casual and playful conversation. Maybe start with a specific thing you love or memory you have about your sex life with them. Be honest and open about your experience with toys. Explain that you think toys might be a fun way to increase the pleasure even more for both of you.
Once you’ve had an open conversation now you can start playing. I always find it helps to show my partner how it works, even demonstrating on their body so they get a sense of how amazing vibrations can feel, no matter what parts you have!
Get creative, and even let them take control—the We-Vibe Chorus is a great clitoral vibrator for couples and can be totally hands-free. Maybe bring out some massage oil, like Exsens. You can massage their body and start to tease them with the vibe. Once they know how good it feels, they’ll better understand why you love it so much.
There’s no shame in always needing a vibrator, but I would also encourage you to keep experimenting. Our brain memorizes masturbation patterns, so it may take time and effort to discover new methods.
And of course, have lots of fun. Many couples find that bringing a toy into their relationship not only enhances pleasure but also strengthens their intimacy. Happy vibing!
xx,
Dr. Emily
When it comes to relationships, it’s not unusual to get into unhealthy patterns—so I’m going to help you identify some of the warning signs you might be ignoring. Whether you’re dating a perfectionist or a partner who is emotionally unavailable, there are some red flags that will never turn green.
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Today’s show is all about you and answering your questions. One couple wants to know how to prepare for a threesome, another wants their partner to experiment with cuckolding. However you want to explore an open relationship, I cover the topics everyone should think about before pulling the trigger.
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Happy International Non-binary People’s Day! In this episode, Emily talks to the charming non-binary actor Vico Ortiz about how they keep dating interesting during COVID. Vico’s gone to great lengths to keep themselves busy and satisfied while stuck at home so if you’re missing human connection, this one’s for you. They also discuss the difference between gender and sexuality, what to do if you get someone’s pronouns wrong and healthy ways to make time for yourself.
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In this episode, Emily talks to Sex With Emily regular, psychological astrologer, Dr. Jennifer Freed, to give us her monthly Astro-Sex Forecast, so listen for your sign (and your partner’s too!). Emily and Jennifer also talk about mindfulness and the power of kissing. Too much or not enough tongue? It’s kissing 101!
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In this Episode Emily kicks off Sexual Liberation Month. She sets the tone with provocative questions to get you thinking about your sexual freedom, confidence and what’s holding you back. Emily is here to help you live the life you want because what else are you doing right now except staying home and having sex? No partner required!
Dear Emily,
I’m a late bloomer when it comes to masturbation and having orgasms. (I didn’t even know that women could masturbate until I was in my twenties!)
Now I’m figuring out what turns me on, what movements I like, and what doesn’t work. I even have a wonderful partner who is totally on board to help me figure it out.
Sometimes when I masturbate, or when my partner fingers me to climax, this weird thing happens: My body spasms, and it’s kind of painful (usually in just the pelvic area).
I can’t hold my vibrator to my clit any longer or I push my partner’s hand away, even though I feel that I could have gone deeper into the orgasm. It totally keeps me from just melting into the experience.
I’m wondering if I’m pushing myself to climax before I’m fully warmed up? Is that a thing? Or is this a serious issue that I might have to get looked at?
Sincerely,
Leslie, 27
Dear Emily,
I’m a single mom and my daughter is 2 years old.
I’ve tried online dating apps, but the guys back off after a couple of days. Do guys not want to date single mothers?I’ve lost hope in finding a relationship. Please help me, Emily!
–Nadine
DEAR EMILY,
When I was 17 years old, I had never orgasmed, despite having had one or two sexual partners. I read that placing your clit right underneath running water is a way to reach orgasm! So, I tried it. And to this day, it is the only way I can climax.
I have a serious boyfriend now, but I don’t orgasm with him. What do I do? Am I doomed to only come in the presence of running water?
May, age 19
