Sort By:
Posts in Tag

communication

jealousy blog sex with emilyHave you ever been jealous of your partner? Has your partner ever wanted to see your phone or been suspicious of you when you go to hang out with friends? Do you hate when your significant other has a connection with someone else that you don’t have?

Jealousy is real, and it can affect all types of relationships. Let’s talk about how to handle jealousy in your relationship whether you’re monogamous, monogamish, or totally open, and how those differ!

Continue Reading

disagree partner pandemic blog sex with emilyAs Coronavirus cases continue to soar, so have our stress levels while living in a pandemic. But as the world continues to slowly open back up, everyone has an opinion of what precautions should be taken. So what happens if you and your partner don’t see eye to eye?

Perhaps one of you is taking social distancing measures supremely seriously. Maybe the other believes it’s all a big crock. It doesn’t matter how much you did or didn’t fight before. This pandemic has ushered us into a whole new ballgame. One in which communication with each other has never been more critical.

If you and your partner disagree about the pandemic, here are a few tips for learning how and if you can get on the same page and cope with the COVID craziness.

Continue Reading

dos and donts of anal blog sex with emilyHappy Anal August everyone! As the days again begin to get shorter, it can feel like time for change! Whether that’s going back to school, getting a new haircut, or diving into something new sexually. For a lot of people, that something sexually new can be a first-time entry into the backdoor. 

So after you have thoroughly washed your backdoor and prepared yourself mentally, let’s get to the fun stuff and break down the dos and don’ts of anal!

Continue Reading

What I've learned about my sexuality blog sex with emily2020 marks 15 years since I created the Sex With Emily podcast. I created it because I wanted people to feel safe hearing about, talking about, and learning about sex. In my time working in the sexual wellness industry, the entire world has grown so much in the way of inclusion, acceptance, and openness about sexuality. I’d like to think I played a small part in that. 

But as my company has grown, so have I. I’ve learned so much about myself since starting Sex With Emily. So in celebration of my crystal anniversary, I’d like to share with you all what I have learned about my own sexuality.

Continue Reading

politics blog sex with emilyIn light of the recent uprising of racial justice protests, the resurgence of the Black Lives Matter movement, the current global pandemic and upcoming election, politics are becoming pretty hard to avoid — especially within our personal relationships.

Political conversations are coming up in all sorts of areas they may not have before. They’re happening on first dates, or even as early as within dating apps. Though seeing someone list a different political party than you may be an immediate swipe left, there are plenty of people out there who are willing to date across political lines.

There are are tons of ways that political beliefs can affect a relationship. And you and your partner might not always be on the same side. So in the spirit of bringing people together, ere are some ways to handle different views with your boo. 

Continue Reading

good kisser blog sex with emilyAh, Kissing. My favorite adult pastime and the bane of my middle school existence. Being a good kisser may seem simple, but in reality it’s a craft that you work on throughout your entire romantic and sexual life.

Today, we’re giving you a handy little guide for making sure your smooches are the best in the land, without any pillow practice.

It’s time to pucker up and put your money where your mouth is!

Here’s how to land the perfect peck:

Continue Reading

sexual independence blog sex with emilySexual independence is all about taking control of your own pleasure. There may be other people involved in the process, but when it comes down to it, your pleasure is your prerogative. 

You may expect your partner to pick you up from the airport. You probably expect them to remember your birthday and to fix the shower curtain that they broke. Yet, I’m sorry to tell you, you can’t expect your partner to be responsible for your orgasms.

In movies and TV, sex usually looks like three or four thrusts followed by simultaneously orgasming. Of course, anyone that’s ever had sex knows that it usually takes a little bit more than that to really get sent over the edge. And while you may want your partner to whisk you away and do what they will with you, the truth is, when it comes to your orgasms, you’re the one in charge. Here’s how to take control of your own pleasure.

Continue Reading

single dad blog sex with emilyFather’s Day is here! From bio-dads and stepfathers, to sugar daddies and daddy doms alike, it’s time to celebrate all the fatherly figures we love – and how they can get the love they deserve as well. And in this blog, we’re focusing on all the single dads out there.

Being a dad on your own has a unique set of challenges. Between diaper changes, packing lunches and first dances, a single dad’s love life can fall by the wayside. 

But fear not, fathers, there is a way to do it right! With a grounded outlook, great communication and willingness to army crawl your way through any muddy obstacles that arise, single dads can show the dating world that they are some of the greatest fish in the sea. 

So whether you’re one yourself, or in the dating market for one, here are our hot tips on how to make it the most of dating as a single dad.  

Continue Reading

triggers blog sex with emilyTriggers. What are they and what do they mean?

Maybe your conservative dad writes them off as a snowflake defense mechanism. Or maybe your friends throw the term around when joking around. Either way, it can be hard to understand what a “trigger” really is. And being able to put a word to that moment when you get uncomfortable or overwhelmed can seem impossible. Especially as it’s happening. 

Continue Reading

humiliation blog sex with emilyWhen we think about great sex, a positive and pleasure-packed experience is what often comes to mind. However, for some out there, it’s something a little darker that does the trick! All thanks to two little words: humiliation and degradation.

You’ve probably heard it and seen it. Perhaps it was while watching porn. Perhaps it was while watching a blockbuster film of a certain shade of gray. But erotic humiliation is yet another powerful way to spice up your sex play.

From exploring power dynamics to testing emotional boundaries, it’s something that – albeit may sometimes feel extreme – can open up a whole new world of intimate possibilities with the right partner.

Interested? Thought so. Let’s do a deeper dive:

 

FIRST OFF, THE BASICS

In a nutshell, erotic humiliation/degradation refers to getting aroused from the cocktail of emotions that come with being teased, demeaned and degraded. Humiliation includes belittlement, commands, sexual stimulation, etc. Degradation includes insults, name calling,  – the works.

On the mild side of the spectrum, it looks like someone calling you a “stupid little baby”. On the extreme side it looks like getting hogtied and orgasm-tortured while everyone at the sex party points and laughs. These acts under normal circumstances are the sorts of things that usually make people feel uncomfortable or shamed, but erotic humiliation completely flips the switch on those core emotions, plus so much more. 

 

Although erotic humiliation is popular within the BDSM scene, it’s also worth clarifying the two have a few stark differences. Unlike some kinky interests, erotic humiliation is not about the humiliation-causing acts themselves, rather the emotions they elicit. Humiliation is a form of submission, but not all submission has to entail humiliation/degradation tactics.

 

WHERE’S THE PLEASURE?

One person’s pain can be another person’s pleasure. Sexiness is subjective. It’s hard to pinpoint from where the appeal 100% stems. Sure, it’s easy to associate humiliation with that one embarrassing day in sixth grade gym class. But for many it can be a supremely, surprisingly freeing and healing experience. 

A huge element of sexual exploration is getting to dip your toes into things that are sometimes considered taboo. In the world of kink and fetish, there are endless types of power dynamic. Whether it’s a Dom/sub, DDlg, or furry play, carrying out something that safely and consensually pushes the boundaries of human experience can feel liberating without a doubt. This is especially true when doing it with a trusted partner that’s on the same page as you. 

 

MAKE IT YOUR OWN

What sets this one apart from some other fetishes is the fact that it’s subjective AND doesn’t even have to be inherently sexual. Since the name of the sensuous game is feeling humiliation, everything from the dialogue and physicality, to level of overt sexuality depends on those involved.

Some people find receiving it hot, others enjoy dishing it out, and sometimes it’s a mix of both. The humiliation can happen in public at a sex party, or in the privacy of your own sex dungeon. Despite the fetish looking different from situation to situation, the one non-negotiable is both partners truly knowing each other – and what words, tones and actions will actually drive it all home. 

 

SAFETY FIRST! (& HOW TO DO IT)

In addition to being on the same page with your partner, the other golden rule of erotic humiliation is that consent, as always, is absolutely everything.

Ahead of jumping into the hot and heavy action, having a candid conversation about what you how you want to engage in humiliation and degradation is the hands-down best way to kick things off. When playing with your emotions erotically, the experience can go in many different directions. It’s good to discuss and establish mutually agreed-upon boundaries, as well as have a safe word in your back pocket just in case. 

After it all goes down, you additionally want to allow some time for aftercare and not be afraid to talk about the experience in general. Not only will reflecting upon the experience help you figure out how you felt about it, but a joint debrief can definitely reveal what worked as well as what didn’t for improving upon moving forward. 

 

***

 

When it comes to any fetish, you ultimately just have to do you. But knowing they are an insanely interesting way to explore some of the most basic building blocks to any healthy relationship…well, it just keeps things all the more interesting, right?

 

 


Alex Anderson is an LA-based lifestyle designer proactively raging against the cultural grain. By day she works in television production, and by night enjoys writing, sewing and seeking guidance from the stars. She also finally has an all black kitty named “Cher.” You can follow her alt-lifestyle blog MSFT Living and on Instagram!

1 2 3 4 23 Page 2 of 23