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Do the voices in your head ever hold you back from being truly happy? 
It can be so hard to allow ourselves to be guilt-free, and not let it creep in on our “selfish” moments.  
Sex Coach Pam Costa shares how she silenced her internal voices to be joyful again in her Down to There blog…

 

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

I am a 23-year-old lesbian, and my dating pool seems more like a puddle. I’m shy, so walking up to a woman in a bar isn’t really my thing. Conversely, I’m very feminine and have been told that women can’t easily tell that I’m gay, making me unapproachable for women who are too scared to ask.

Last but not least, I’ve noticed that I’m attracted to older women and find myself being intimidated by them because I’m not very sexually experienced.

Basically, I need suggestions on where to meet women and how to be more confident and put myself out there.

Please help!

Cassie, 23, Kentucky

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This week in our Sex and the Brain series, we explored the differences of arousal between men and women. 

While it may be obvious to some that men and women don’t get aroused the same, many still have not acquired this piece of knowledge. Men are like frying pans, and women are like slow cookers – so let’s get down to the science behind the kitchen appliance metaphors.

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

Photo: Stocksy

My sex life with my husband almost exclusively revolves around nipple play. He and I both love giving and receiving nipple stimulation, and it’s our primary foreplay (usually a nipple-69).

In an effort to keep things new and fun, I’ve researched nipple toys but can’t seem to find any with consistently positive reviews. We’ve talked about clamps, suction toys, and even pumps, but we aren’t sure what is reliable, pain-free (we like teasing and pleasure, not pain), and useful for both women and men.

Do you have any advice for what toys or techniques could enhance our somewhat unconventional—but very satisfying!—routine?

Mallory, Age 40

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