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Q: DEAR EMILYpeoples-attitude-towards-sex-toys-dating-singles-meetville-matchmaking

My boyfriend of almost two years is skittish about sex toys. I’ve had them and used them with partners in the past (although those are long gone now) and I’ve been thinking of updating my collection. The problem is, I can’t seem to get my guy on board. He thinks that I want to use toys because I’m bored in the bedroom, or that it means he isn’t doing a good job. The thing is, he IS doing a good job. He brings me to orgasm more than any partner I’ve ever had!

I have been looking online and I really want the Womanizer or the We-Vibe Touch for Valentine’s Day. What do you suggest to help warm him up to the idea?

Thanks so much, 

Mary Continue Reading

hot-showerQ: Dear Emily

I met a man while traveling, we have been talking for a while since, and now he’s coming to visit. We haven’t been intimate yet, but I have a feeling that it will happen while he’s here. Which leads me to my question…

When I have sex, I produce a lot of female ejaculate, and if previous measures are not taken, the bed really isn’t suitable to sleep in after. I want to give this guy a heads-up, but I don’t really know how to approach this. Also I don’t want him to be disappointed if, for some reason, I do not “squirt” the first time with him (which has happened before).

Should I tell him beforehand? If so, how? Or should I just let it be a surprise?

With love, Sage
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2b2c63ede7b97bddddbe4800cf45533eQ: Dear Emily

In the past year, I have been on a mission to have regular orgasms and since I’m currently single, this has been mostly a solo mission. I’ve been taking all of your advice: I’ve got the sex toys and the lube, I know where all my hot spots are and I know how to touch them, but I’m still only orgasming a third of the time. It’s so frustrating! Sometimes I will be right on the cusp of climaxing, but for some reason I just can’t get all the way there. What am I missing here? Help!

Sincerely,

Orgasm Blocked

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slow-down-pixabay_0Dear Emily,

I have an issue I have yet to hear on your show. My wife of 19 years comes too quickly! (Yes, she actually orgasms and isn’t faking). It takes very little for her to reach climax and once she does, she is done. Me, on the other hand… I take a very long time. Obviously, this proves to be a problem as she comes first and is immediately done.

Because she comes so quickly, she is always in a rush to get me to finish. Once she is done she starts questioning me if I am done. Major turn off. She isn’t into too much foreplay and she doesn’t like giving oral sex (especially not to completion) so everything I have been taught falls apart completely. Is there anything you can suggest to make her last longer and be more into it? Thanks

Daniel, 52, Colorado

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dsc_0412-2Dear Emily,

I’ve got a question about sex toy hygiene—I know you have a lot of sex toys and you use them pretty frequently. I am looking to step up my sex toy collection, but I’m worried about them remaining clean and sanitary for use. I’m 27 and haven’t had sex in a couple of years, but I want to start experimenting with myself. The only thing that’s holding me back is my fear of getting a yeast infection from dirty toys. What’s the best way to store and clean them? Also, is there a type of sex toy material that is bacteria resistant? Please help!

Xo, CJ Continue Reading

samanthaDear Emily,

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a while, and in most areas we’re very sexually compatible. But lately there’s been a problem in the blow job department: he takes FOOOOOOOREVER to finish. Don’t get me wrong, I love going down on a guy. I know from experience that I’m good at it, but with him my poor jaw gets tired and cramps up. Giving head is becoming a chore! What can I do to…speed up the process? Help!

Thank you! Lockjawed in Los Angeles

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Dear Emily,

My partner is away for nine months for his career. We talk on the phone and Skype regularly, but the lack of physical connection has been really difficult so far. It has only been a month, and I’m already bored with masturbating. I don’t know how I’m going to make it! Do you have any suggestions for maintaining intimacy while in a temporary long-distance relationship?

Thanks, 

Alex

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mgid-ao-image-mtvHi Emily,

I am single and dating—mostly online. And a lot of women will ask me, usually on a first date, what I’m into sexually, especially whether or not I’m a boob or butt guy. I have a mild foot fetish and in most of my previous relationships, I never really had to tell my partner. I would just slowly introduce it in the bedroom and they would always be on board with it, because by that time we already liked each other.

This isn’t something I feel comfortable talking about on a first date, and fortunately every girl so far thinks it’s pretty normal. I wanted to ask you if you were on a date with me and asked me that question, and I gave a ‘vanilla’ answer, but then later on in the bedroom I introduced it or mentioned it, if you would feel that you were lied to….

Thanks,

Paul

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couple-bed-1-640x457Hey Emily!

I’ve been with my boyfriend for three-and-a-half years and the sex is great! We both get wonderful pleasure from each other and are open to trying new moves. My issue (one that has been evident from the start of the relationship) is that I am always in the driver’s seat when it comes to our sexual experiences. I always make the first move. I have tried to talk to him about it but he’s not willing to do anything differently. It feels like he doesn’t even want to have sex with me unless I make him. 

Like you said in one of your podcasts, a common female fantasy is that of being dominated—well, I want that! I got him to do this once and I loved it, but it hasn’t happened since. I am exhausted from having to take the lead all the time. I just want him to want me more. How do I get him to initiate sex with me more often?

Please help me Emily!

Thanks,
Alexandra
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