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Is Knowing What You Want Sexy or SelfishQ: DEAR EMILY,

I was dating a guy who was great in bed. The first time we hooked up, he asked me what my fantasy was—I told him, we went with it and it was really hot. As we continued to date, he kept asking me what my fantasies were, so then I thought that the ones I had already shared weren’t hot enough. I started worrying about what he thought of me, and if I was too boring.

I realized that when I’m with someone, I focus on trying to be exciting, thinking more about what my partner might want rather than putting my needs and desires first. My question is, how can I focus more on myself and what I like without being selfish in bed?

Jess, 31  Continue Reading

biting during sexQ: Dear Emily,

I really enjoy biting my partner’s chest and shoulders during intercourse and find that it helps keep me in the moment physically. It seems like when I lose physical contact between my mouth and my partner’s body or mouth, it tends to result in me thinking more about the fact that I am having sex instead of really feeling present.

The problem is my previous and current partners have not been fans of the marks left on their chest in the aftermath. Do you have any suggestions for other physical actions I can try that won’t result in the “evidence” left behind, but can help keep me in the moment?

Thanks,

Liz, Age 26

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elitedaily-mosuno-couple-sex (1)Q: Hi Emily,

I’m a 21-year-old woman who hates being on top during sex. I have never liked it. Aside from feeling like my guy is getting a really awful angle/view of my body, I just don’t feel like I do a good job. How can I incorporate being on top without feeling so uncomfortable?

Are there certain techniques I can try? I know I have to work on letting go of the idea that he’s seeing me from a bad angle, and I’m trying. What’s the best way to be on top? Am I doing it wrong? Ugh, help! Continue Reading

Q. 

ezgif.com-resizeHey Emily,

I recently got out of a long-term relationship and jumped into dating—literally! Now I’m seeing three different people, something I’ve never done before, and need some advice on how to handle it.

Is there supposed to be a waiting period in between partners? Can I have sex with two different people in a week (with protection, of course)? If we use my sex toys, can I use them with multiple guys? Also, what’s the etiquette for telling a person I’m not monogamous in a way that won’t hurt them? I just want to be single and date around for a while, but it’s all so complicated!

Any advice would be appreciated,
Jenn

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couplesadQ:

Dear Emily,

Thanks for the sexual empowerment you offer to everyone. I have a question about introducing bondage and rough play with a new partner. How do you do it? I actually scared a guy recently when I asked him to choke me in bed. That is obviously not my future goal, so I’m hoping you can help me figure out a way to ease partners into it. Also, what’s the best way to tie someone up?

Thanks again for the great advice! I love your podcast.
Kelsey Continue Reading

Q: DEAR EMILYpeoples-attitude-towards-sex-toys-dating-singles-meetville-matchmaking

My boyfriend of almost two years is skittish about sex toys. I’ve had them and used them with partners in the past (although those are long gone now) and I’ve been thinking of updating my collection. The problem is, I can’t seem to get my guy on board. He thinks that I want to use toys because I’m bored in the bedroom, or that it means he isn’t doing a good job. The thing is, he IS doing a good job. He brings me to orgasm more than any partner I’ve ever had!

I have been looking online and I really want the Womanizer or the We-Vibe Touch for Valentine’s Day. What do you suggest to help warm him up to the idea?

Thanks so much, 

Mary Continue Reading

hot-showerQ: Dear Emily

I met a man while traveling, we have been talking for a while since, and now he’s coming to visit. We haven’t been intimate yet, but I have a feeling that it will happen while he’s here. Which leads me to my question…

When I have sex, I produce a lot of female ejaculate, and if previous measures are not taken, the bed really isn’t suitable to sleep in after. I want to give this guy a heads-up, but I don’t really know how to approach this. Also I don’t want him to be disappointed if, for some reason, I do not “squirt” the first time with him (which has happened before).

Should I tell him beforehand? If so, how? Or should I just let it be a surprise?

With love, Sage
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2b2c63ede7b97bddddbe4800cf45533eQ: Dear Emily

In the past year, I have been on a mission to have regular orgasms and since I’m currently single, this has been mostly a solo mission. I’ve been taking all of your advice: I’ve got the sex toys and the lube, I know where all my hot spots are and I know how to touch them, but I’m still only orgasming a third of the time. It’s so frustrating! Sometimes I will be right on the cusp of climaxing, but for some reason I just can’t get all the way there. What am I missing here? Help!

Sincerely,

Orgasm Blocked

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slow-down-pixabay_0Dear Emily,

I have an issue I have yet to hear on your show. My wife of 19 years comes too quickly! (Yes, she actually orgasms and isn’t faking). It takes very little for her to reach climax and once she does, she is done. Me, on the other hand… I take a very long time. Obviously, this proves to be a problem as she comes first and is immediately done.

Because she comes so quickly, she is always in a rush to get me to finish. Once she is done she starts questioning me if I am done. Major turn off. She isn’t into too much foreplay and she doesn’t like giving oral sex (especially not to completion) so everything I have been taught falls apart completely. Is there anything you can suggest to make her last longer and be more into it? Thanks

Daniel, 52, Colorado

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