There’s no better time like the present to try something new and exciting in (or outside) the bedroom. If you didn’t know, there are all kinds of ways to fool around that can really throw some heat into your relationship. It’s all about changing things up and not sticking to a routine.
Q: DEAR EMILY,
I’m very educated about sexual health and open-minded sexually, but I have a hard time accepting my boyfriend’s porn habit. We have a great sex life and try new things, but he still watches porn. I can’t help wondering…aren’t I enough?I’ve seen porn before, and I know most guys watch it, but I can’t help feeling a little insecure. Is he comparing me to these women? Is that how he wants me to act? It isn’t fair for me to ask him to stop, so how can I get used to it?Please help!
Janine, 27, Iowa
Q: DEAR EMILY,
I recently started seeing a guy, and although his penis is magnificent and huge, it’s an even huger problem. I’m a petite woman, and so far sex with him has been very painful. I’ve managed to get through it multiple times, but I’m always incredibly sore afterward.
Is there anything I can do to lessen the pain, or is the fact his penis is too big something I’ll have to get used to?
Penelope, age 22
Q: DEAR EMILY,
My sex life with my husband almost exclusively revolves around nipple play. He and I both love giving and receiving nipple stimulation, and it’s our primary foreplay (usually a nipple-69).
In an effort to keep things new and fun, I’ve researched nipple toys but can’t seem to find any with consistently positive reviews. We’ve talked about clamps, suction toys, and even pumps, but we aren’t sure what is reliable, pain-free (we like teasing and pleasure, not pain), and useful for both women and men.
Do you have any advice for what toys or techniques could enhance our somewhat unconventional—but very satisfying!—routine?
Mallory, Age 40
Once you start having sex, after all your experiences, partners, and any mishaps that have probably happened along the way, you start to develop “moves” or a routine. You see what works for you, what may work for most of your partners, and you stick to that because, well, it’s what you know.
That’s a big reason why we do what we do here–– people are always looking to spice things up, change the game, perfect it. One of the best ways to do that is to open up the dialogue and see what others have to say, not just the experts.
Oral and intercourse are awesome, but once we are allowed to go all the way, we forget that there’s fun to be had with just your hand in someone’s pants. Hand jobs are great for many reasons; they’re an erotic way to feel in control as you make your lover orgasm, they’re fun and easy to do while driving in your car, and they also have a sexy nostalgia to them.
Now let’s kick it old school and get down with some handsy basics.