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On today’s show, Emily’s joined by Detroit-based sex educator Zoe Ligon to talk about how to prioritize your pleasure and step away from “goal” oriented sex, because hey – it’s not just about orgasms.  

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

Stocksy

I recently started seeing a guy, and although his penis is magnificent and huge, it’s an even huger problem. I’m a petite woman, and so far sex with him has been very painful. I’ve managed to get through it multiple times, but I’m always incredibly sore afterward.

Is there anything I can do to lessen the pain, or is the fact his penis is too big something I’ll have to get used to?

Thanks!

Penelope, age 22

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I’ve gone down a lot of internet rabbit holes full of vitriol, name calling, and ugly debate. It happens to all of us; we click on the bait, open the comments and voila! You’re reading some sick burns and opinions stated as fact. By far the worst of the antagonistic trolling for knee-jerk reactions I’ve encountered has had nothing to do with politics— it is in mommy groups around the subject of circumcision.

 

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When you’re getting a sex toy for your lover, while it may be a gift for them, you know you’ll want to reap some of the benefits, too. Or, if you’re a really good friend to a couple – a really good friend – looking to help spice up their sex lives, you want to get a toy that both of them will appreciate.

 

Most pleasure products are either for men or for women, but there are a few out there that were made with any gender in mind (even if you don’t identify). So, whether you’re using it together, or taking turns (after cleaning, of course), a toy that anyone can use brings a whole new meaning to sharing is caring.

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Once you start having sex, after all your experiences, partners, and any mishaps that have probably happened along the way, you start to develop “moves” or a routine. You see what works for you, what may work for most of your partners, and you stick to that because, well, it’s what you know.

That’s a big reason why we do what we do here–– people are always looking to spice things up, change the game, perfect it. One of the best ways to do that is to open up the dialogue and see what others have to say, not just the experts.

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